The Brightest Star

Chapter Seven

She knew. She knew what was left and lia was dreaded at this moment. Lia had met Alex when they could barely talk and it didn't last long before she met Matt. If with Alex things were always a bit ambiguous growing up, they had decided that it would be better for everybody to do nothing of this mutual attraction. Once this phase was done they were like siblings.

With Matt... the relationship was beyond the limit of the human brain. Words would never be enough to accurately describe this feeling. There never once was an ounce of romantic feelings between them. As beautiful as Matt was, as kind as he was and as desperate of finding her one true love Cecilia was. They were the moon and the stars. They couldn't live without one another, always together. The brightness of the moon would lead the stars. The wiseness of the stars would ease the moon.

Today, they were the moon and sun. They could never live at the same time again. Always running in a circle trying to catch the other one but only seeing their shadow. She would never make it happen sooner than needed but Lia couldn't wait for her final day and to reunite with him. She couldn't wait for an eclipse.

She shakily took the ring between her fingers and studied it. The no-crying rule was broken. They were sad tears but mainly exhaustion tears. She couldn't believe how her life had ended up. She was exhausted from this excruciating pain in her chest whenever she would think of him. Tired of the sickness in her stomach when she imagined him in his last moments.

The ring was smooth black with a silver line wrapping the middle of it. Still looked as Shiny as she remembered it. Alex had received it when he was a young boy and had purposely chosen a size too big for him, to be able to wear it when he was an adult. He had worn it on a chain around his neck. He never had the occasion to properly wear it. When he died, Matt kept it on a chain as well. And she received it when he died. She had seen Matt once after he received it but she assumed he had never taken it off either. They were three siblings. Three siblings sharing the same ring, yet, she was the first to wear it.

"I wish I could forget that day. Or I wish I could erase it, now that I know what it led to. 2019 had started well but it quickly became your worst year. Now, I know that that day marked the beginning of the end of your life. We had hung out the day before. It was the day we danced outside and you bought me a rose. I went home and expected to see messages from Alex but there was nothing. My phone had never been so silent. I went to sleep thinking nothing of it.

I helped your brother for two very long years. I helped him sober up from drugs. And it worked, a little bit. I had dedicated endless hours to him and his journey, so when I received a call from your mom, the next day, to tell me he had passed from an overdose...My world collapsed.

And my first thought was you.

My first thought was always you.

I sat and waited for another call, in hope all this would be a joke, but it never came. I went to your house in a hurry. The friends he had gone on holidays with were coming out of your house as I reached the front door. They came to apologise to you and your family but were only welcomed by your anger. They all looked at their feet, knowing they didn't stop him and encouraged him to use what he shouldn't have. I hugged and cried with your parents for a bit until I eventually came up to your room. You didn't know this but I stayed in front of your door for several long minutes. Terrified to say something wrong. Scared that you wouldn't want to see me and be alone. I eventually opened that door and saw you sitting on your floor, your cheeks drowning in tears. Your face was red with sadness and anger. I sat next to you and you hugged me tight. As tight as you ever did. My tears were ridiculous compared to yours. I had lost my bestfriend and the first boy I fell in love with but you had lost your brother. Your soulmate. I knew no words could ease your pain so I remained silent. The room was filled with the sounds of your heart shattering.

Your mom had given me Alex's ring earlier, the one he never removed. His friends brought it with them. And she thought it was your right to have it. I placed it in your hand and hoped for a bit of a better future. To this day, I wish I could have taken your pain and carried it for you. I wish we had talked and went together on this journey of grieving Alex. I knew I could survive this, because I had you. But I wish I knew what was truly going on in your mind during the months that followed. I wish I had done more. I wish I had saved you from yourself.

I wish.

After that day, we saw each other again at Alexis' funeral. It was the last time I saw you.

Alive. "

They were two broken souls, scarred with their sins and pasts, playing a dangerous game of life. He lost, and somehow, she did too.

She was wondering how many times could the same thing break your heart? How long would it take for life to have colours again? She felt so alone.

At least they were under the same sky.