Shine Again (An Avengers: Infinity War/Endgame Story)

Chapter 55: Aftermath

The sunlight crept between the curtains, dancing with them as the light breeze from the balcony made the thin fabric flow into the room. The cool air made Anja pull the green cloak draped over her body closer to her. It didn't make a difference; the cold air was nothing compared to the empty space in the bed beside her.

Last night, after returning to New Asgard and seeing the damage Thanos' snap had caused there- Heimdall and countless others vanished just like Loki, Layla, and everyone else- and after Anja had been briefly checked over by whatever medics remained, she had returned to her and Loki's room. She hadn't left the room since, bedridden except for when she had to use the bathroom- either for its usual business or to throw up. She hadn't slept at all. She had been crying nonstop, her stomach churning from the greatest loss she had experienced since losing her mother and foster parents. Losing Loki and Layla- hell, maybe Spencer and Tony too- in one fell swoop was too much to bear. She hadn't slept, hadn't eaten... continuing life as normal after their lives had all been taken so suddenly just wasn't going to be possible. How could she go on as if nothing had happened?

She had been so young when she had last lost someone she loved that she didn't properly understand death, let alone what it meant to properly grieve. Even though she was a teenager when her foster parents passed she still didn't have a good grasp on the process. It had been years, and while those deaths were still painful, she was able to move on from them and live a somewhat normal life- as normal as a life could be as an Avenger, anyway. But now she was supposed to mourn at least two people she loved above all else without somehow losing her sanity in the process. It didn't seem possible. It wasn't possible.

Anja opened her eyes as best she could. They were puffy and red from the never-ending tears, and opening them took more effort than it should've. Her eyes were met with the dirtied gold of Loki's helmet sitting just a few inches from her face. She had picked it up off the ground in Wakanda, unable to leave it behind. It had been by her side all night, never more than an arm's reach away. She thought it would help having a piece of Loki nearby, but she wasn't sure that it made a difference. It just served as a grim reminder that she had just 'survived' her first night without him since their fateful meeting in December, the first of the many nights that remained in her lifetime.

Her thoughts were interrupted when there was a knock at the door. She slowly sat up in bed, holding the cloak tightly around her shoulders. "Come in," Anja said weakly. She wasn't sure if whoever was knocking even heard her.

That question was answered a few moments later when Brunnhilde walked into the room, a troubled look on her face. "You don't look good," she greeted, unable to hide the concern in her voice.

Anja sniffled. "You don't say." There was a couple seconds of silence before she spoke again, offering a little more insight on her disheveled state. "I haven't slept since before going to Wakanda. I tried to sleep but I... I can't."

Brunnhilde frowned. "I'd imagine not," she replied. "You've been through a lot the last 24 hours."

"Did you need something?" Anja asked, cutting the small talk. On one hand she wanted to talk more about Loki and Layla and everything, but on the other, she also just wanted to be left alone to mourn in her own ways uninterrupted. Sure, Brunnhilde was her friend, but she wasn't someone Anja necessarily felt super comfortable dumping all of her emotions and problems onto. They weren't that close. All the people she was that close with were gone.

"Thor wanted me to get you so the two of you could address what remains of our citizens together," Brunnhilde responded. "He said it should be a joint effort."

"Why?" Anja asked, confused. "He is the only one remaining with an official title. He's king; I am... was... merely a consort. I'm not queen, nor will I ever be."