Fix You

CHAPTER 1: "Same Mistakes"

*I'm not falling for a second chance, I'm screaming at the top of my voice. Give me reason, but don't give me choice, because I'll just make the same mistakes again.*

Six years, six years had gone by since Red has finished his blacklist, and it's been two months since he had taken Lizzie away to safety. He had been cleared of all charges as was their deal, he was a freeman, and he couldn't be any happier than he is right now. Two months since they've started on their journey together. It was nearly midnight as he stood on the balcony of of their newest vacation house. The salty sea breeze touching his face, and the endless smell of freedom infiltrating his nose. The breeze was touching his face like a soft caress of a beautiful woman, soft, warm, caring. Sleep had never come easy to him for as long as he can remember. His Mind was such a dark place that when he closes his eyes, his mind is still reeling, and the nightmares would come and spare him no mercy.

It's a beautiful two bedroom home near the ocean by a secluded lighthouse in Nebraska, a pls e that Red had owned for years, it was a place of refuge, peace, and tranquility, and he wanted nothing more than to share it with his Lizzie. He was so used to posh homes that held no resemblance to what an actual home look, or felt like. But this, this was home, he could already smell the sweet scent of salvation and refuge. Dembe was not there in the mornings to share breakfasts with him prepared by one of his chefs, there was no business to attend, to black sedan, no FBI, no blacklist.
"Ray?"
Suddenly he snapped out of his reverie and turned his head. He hadn't just been imagining her voice, she stood right there leaning against the sliding door. The breeze was lightly blowing her hair and her angelic face shining under the light of the moon. He shook his head and cleared his throat and gave her a small smile and nod. "I was just getting some air, are you alright sweetheart? It's past midnight you should be sleeping..."
She walked and stood right next to him and leaned her back on the railing facing him. "So should you..." He smiled a bit, there was always that stubborn smart ass side of her that he absolutely adored. In all of the times they've been together he felt that he didn't deserve any type of affection from her, not after what he had done to her in the past. He felt a nudge from her and realized he had zoned out again while she was talking.
"Are you okay? I mean, don't lie to me Ray, are you sure you're okay?" He just looked at her, and she sighed and placed her hand on his cheeks and he was stunned and just kept on staring like a deer in the headlights. "You don't seem to feel sick..." She said touching his forehead "you don't feel warm, and I don't feel any fever." When she removed her hands he shivered and felt like as if he had lost something vital, and it didn't go unnoticed. Liz tilted her head a little, and he smiled it was a notion he picked up from him out of all those years working with him. Moving closer she stunned him again by leaning her hand on his shoulder "I couldn't sleep either."
She saw him visibly swallowing hard and tried to calm himself but then she snaked an arm around him and gently let her fingertips rub his lower right hip gently. Red closed his eyes and made a noise of appreciation. To which he leant down and placed a kiss on top of her head and nearly fainted when her shampoo assaulted his nostrils. It smelled so sweetly of vanilla, strawberries and cinnamon. It smelled heavenly. "Lay with me?"
His eyes snapped open but he stayed silent. He wasn't sure if his ears were playing a trick on him. Lizzie turned and looked up at him, her chin on his chest. "We both need to sleep, and maybe it will help if we're not alone?"
Red bit his inner cheek and hesitated for a bit before giving her a nod and let her pull him back inside. He took a deep breath as he followed her inside and to the bedroom. When they were inside the room, he watched as she slid under the covers and beckoned for him to come too. He slowly made his way to slip into bed with her, but her hand stopped him. "Ray, look at you.." She started looking at him with an arched brow "you won't be comfortable in that robe. We're both adults here, why don't you shed that and get more comfortable instead. I really wouldn't mind if you slept with just your boxers or flannels on and with or without your shirt."
He suddenly felt the heat rising from his cheeks, but she was right, the robe would just be driving him mad for the remainder of the night. Reluctantly, he stood up and removed the robe, folded it and placing it on the chair. He timidly slid back in bed as stealthy as he can hoping she won't notice but judging by how she smirked he knew that she did.
Liz flicked the lamp off that was on her side and whispered a goodnight to him. About an hour later, he felt himself sure ding to sleep when she shifted and tangled her legs between his and her head making its way to his chest pillow ing it. He felt his breath hitch and he opened his eyes to take a glance at her.
He tried to calm himself and closed his eyes again, her foot started moving against his leg and her hand found its way to his chest. He made a slight groan that vibrated through his chest. It's hard to imagine that the once ruthless criminal Raymond Reddington had turned into a puppy when a woman rubbed at his chest. He felt like he was melting faster than snow under the bright sunlight.
His pleased moan didn't go unnoticed by Lizzie who rubbed at his chest down to his torso and he feared he was going to be embarrassed that if she woke up, he couldn't suppress his arousal any longer. He stayed as still as possible and tried to slow his breathing to make it look like he was sleeping. But he can't fool her... Not his Lizzie.
"Do you like it when I run your belly and your chest Ray?" She asked sweetly and quietly
Red swallowed hard and tried to pretend sleep. "Ray, I know you're awake." She stated flatly.
He sighed and shifted a little "I've never lied to you, and I'm not starting now... Yes Lizzie, I like it when you do that..." Lizzie was shocked and happy at the same time. Here was Raymond Reddington, one of the most feared men in the wold, acted like a stuttering puppy under her touch. She smiled knowing what she accomplished but asked herself how far could they really go?
Suddenly Lizzie felt bold enough and let her fingertips played with the waistband of his boxers and she heard him take in a long breath. He took her hand gently and looked at her confused "Lizzie, sweetheart, what are you doing?" She felt a warm sensation both in her belly and on her cheeks and was glad it was dark that he couldn't see this; "do-do you want me to stop?" She asked shyly; he swallowed hard and let go of her wrist "do you want to stop?"
Before she could answer she found herself pinned down to the bed. His hand held hers and his legs were nestled between hers "what do you want Lizzie? Tell me, what do you really want?" His breath was hot on her cheeks and his lips were close enough to kiss her if he wanted to.
She was rendered speechless and stared up at him, their breathes were turning ragged with each second, he tilted his head and leaned down resting his forehead on hers; "tell me..." He whispered so softly.
Lizzie couldn't take his eyes off of him, and in turn she kissed him hard and deep "I want to feel... I want... I want you to help me feel Ray...please." His heart broke for her as those words left her lips. He thought about it before giving her a slight nod and letting their lips met in fiery kiss. He felt her shiver and she whispered against his lips "help me to feel alive again..." He intertwined his fingers with hers and kissed her with all the pent up passion and love he had for her over the years. He kept them all bottled up because he felt like he didn't deserve any of her attention let alone her love. His tongue slipped past the barrier of her lips and a low moan escaped his chest as her fingertips caressed his shoulders and his sideburns.
"I-I-I'm not... I'm not good for you, Lizzie..." He rasped out but Lizzie leaned up and cut him off mid sentence with a searing kiss and flipped their over rolling them and pinning him on the bed. His hand gripped her waist as she broke the kiss and looked down at him. His eyes was so dark with arousal that he couldn't remember how it had happened. But before she even knew it there they were gloriously naked for each other's eyes to feast on, their bodies glistening with a light sheen of sweat and to him she looked magnificent, like a fine piece of artwork laid before his very eyes.
They moved in unison and he made a mental note of the sounds she is making. Her moans, and whispering of his name over and over like a prayer. The feeling of her nails digging to his back muscles, thighs, shoulders, and even his ass. The feeling of her teeth grazing his earlobes, and nipping at his collarbone. It was like a dream, one of which he never wanted to wake from.
Red arched his back and within seconds she came screaming his name as her back arched off the mattress and her muscles tightening around his hard member. Red kissed from her neck to her earlobe. His tongue flicking over her collarbone and sucking a pulse before he leant his head back and moaned her name as he spilled himself deep inside her, bringing his seed inside her warmth. Thrusting his hips a few more times he collapsed on top of her catching their breaths.
A few minutes later and finally both catching their ragged breath he smiled softly and kissed her temple. "Lizzie that was..." But he was immediately cut of by her "a mistake..." His smile faded, right there and then Raymond Reddington's cracked heart shattered into pieces. He felt as if the world stopped spinning as the final glimpse of light was taken away from him.