Fix You

CHAPTER 14: "Still Falling"

She likes to think that sometimes their relationship is like spinning and falling then getting right back up again. The spinning that causes confusion and dizziness and the occasional nausea. The falling, so deep and way too fast. The falling that you think is so wrong, but it feels so right. The getting back up, trying to convince yourself that you have not fallen and you were never even spinning in the first place. Getting back up has always been the hardest part of their relationship. When you get back up, you might expect to still feel symptoms of spinning, but she feels the fall. She remembers the exact moment that it happened and how it happened. And then she's falling again, falling without even realizing it. Her heart rate picking up and her cheeks burning. She's convinced herself that she won't fall again, but it's already happened by the time that she's convinced. She never knows when the falling stops and the spinning begins again, but it doesn't matter, because the spinning never lasts for long.

Now here she is, falling harder than ever before. His lips are attacking hers, all of his emotions being poured into one kiss. His teeth are grabbing her bottom lip, causing Lizzie to whimper. She's opening her mouth, allowing him entrance. He's running his hands down her body, hooking his fingers on the waistband of her robe. Now he's untying her robe, pushing it off of her shoulders, his hands moving back down to her waist. He's pushing her back up against the Wall and Clara's not sure that she'll ever be able to get back up again. She's already fallen too hard.

He's running his hands through her hair now, pulling a little bit too hard when his fingers get tangled in her hair. She's moaning softly into his mouth, her hands gripping at the lapels of his coat, pulling him closer. She's pushing him back towards the console, a gentle growl being emitted from him when he hits the console.

He's pulling away from the kiss now, his forehead resting on hers, his breath coming out uneven. He's mumbling questions filled with anxiety and laced with fear. His hands are untangling themselves from her hair and resting on her neck, his fingers gently rubbing the back of her neck. She's silencing his questions with small, comforting kisses, letting him know that everything is going to be okay. He's grinning sheepishly then, his hands moving down to her shoulders. His lips touch hers gently, allowing her to feel a sense of comfort and a softness that she's never expected from him before.

The kiss is getting less chaste now, the chasteness being replaced by a deep intimacy. He's pushing her away from the console then, guiding her to the bedroom. Their clothes are being scattered across the corridors, robes, shirts, and waistcoats, their hands roaming new untouched territory on the other's body. They're stumbling into the bedroom, falling onto the bed and dissolving into a mess of giggles and laughter.

He's resting his forehead on hers, trying to get his laughter under control. She's giggling and placing her hands on his cheek, kissing him over and over. And now she's laughing as he fumbles to kick off his shoes. She's flipping him over so she's on top, nuzzling his neck, trying to suppress her giggles. He's enveloping her in his arms, his laughter subsiding, a silly grin finding its way onto his face. He kisses the top of her head and moves his hands down to her waist, flipping her back over again.

Now she's looking up at him and pouting, her hands planted firmly on his torso. Then he's laughing again, kissing her nose and whispering apologise. She's smiling now, her hands moving down his chest, her fingers hooking onto his waistband. And then his laughter stops abruptly, his face being taken over by a look of arousal.

And now here she is falling, even though she's sure that she can't fall any deeper. And she's now quite sure, but she thinks that she can feel him falling too. She slides her hands towards the centre of his trousers and unbuttons them slowly. Her hands slide up his torso and she feels his hands twitch slightly on her hips. She gently kisses his collar bones, her hands venturing down his body.

Now she's unzipping his trousers, pulling them off, laughing when they get stuck halfway. He's laughing along with her, telling her not to laugh. She finishes taking off his trousers and kisses his lips gently. She starts to pull away, but now he's grabbing her wrists and pinning her down, planting his lips on hers and kissing her hungrily. He's grinding his hips into hers, his hands letting go of her wrists and encasing her face.

She puts her hands on his chest and pushes him lightly. He pulls away and growls quietly. And that's when she knows. She knows that she's fallen so deep that there's no getting up. She feels the sensation of spinning and falling all at once, but she feels no uncertainty or fear. She looks into his eyes, trying to find that same feeling in his eyes, and somewhere in a distant part of his eyes, hidden away very well by a fog of lust, is that feeling. And now there's fear in his eyes. She's stopped making moves. He's scared that she's regretting everything that's just happened. He's scared that she's going to push him away and pretend like this never happened.

"Lizzie? Sweetheart?" He asks, his voice filled with a hidden sadness.

'I love you,' She whispers.

His eyes widen and his hands move down to her neck, his thumbs absentmindedly stroking the skin there. He stares at her for a second, a sparkle in his eyes.

'I love you too, Elizabeth Keen.' He whispers.

And now she's kissing him hungrily, her hands trailing down his body, grabbing onto his undergarments and tugging. He's swatting her hand away and mumbling,'Too much clothing. Take it off.' Her cheeks turn a rosy pink as she quickly lets go of his undergarments and grabs the hem of her nightgown. She's roughly pulling it over her head and throwing it onto the floor. Now she's unclasping her bra, taking it off quickly and throwing it on the floor.

He's looking down at her, his eyes filled with awe and lust. He's quickly taking off his undergarments, then hers. He plants his mouth on her neck and sucks roughly. Now she's crying out, her hands grabbing onto his sides, her nails digging into his back. He's trailing kisses down her body, stopping when he gets to her belly button. He's looking up at her, his eyes asking for permission. She's nodding slightly, but then pulling him up. Now she can feel his arousal pushing up against her.

'Ray,' She whispers, the word just barely coming out.

'Lizzie.' He breathes.

And with that, he's lowering himself into her, his hands planting themselves on the bed beside her. He's moving slowly and swiftly, being as delicate as possible. She's moving her hips in tune with his now, her hands bunching up handfuls of sheets. He's burying his face into her neck, whimpering and nuzzling her neck, his thrusts becoming faster. She's curling up into him, biting down into his shoulder to try and suppress the noises she's making.

And then his thrusts stop and he's moving his head away from her neck so he can look at her. And then he's laughing and nuzzling her neck again, whispering 'I love you' over and over. She's moving back from his shoulder and kissing his ear, giggling and whispering 'I love you too' each time she takes a ragged breath out.

Then he's biting her collarbone and sucking. Now he's thrusting again, starting slowly then going as fast as he can, using all of his might. She's trying to meet his thrusts and moaning in ecstasy. Then she's arching her back, throwing her head back and now she's laughing and moaning at the same time. Then he's changing his angle and it all becomes just a bit too much for her.

Now she's seeing stars and crying out, her climax causing her to tighten around him. He's shouting her name now, his breath becoming ragged. He's nuzzling his nose into her neck and whimpering, his arms enveloping her tiny frame. He's mumbling something into her neck and peppering her with kisses. Then she's relaxing, wrapping her arms around him and smiling contently. He's falling to her side, placing a kiss on her temple.

Then, in the blink of an eye, she's fallen asleep and he's intertwining his legs with hers. Now he's falling asleep in her arms, a smile finding it's way onto his face. And here they are, both of them falling deeper than they've fallen before. Except, this time they aren't scared to fall, because they know that they have each other to catch them. This time, they aren't scared because they know that the other is falling with them. This time they aren't scared of falling because they have each other, and they couldn't be happier.