I've been apart of Debbie, Tammy, and Lou's life for a while now. I don't typically dabble in their more... illicit affairs, but I support them nonetheless. This time I did decide to hop on, as I really didn't have much better to do. Also, how was I supposed to pass up such a big offer?
Debbie is a very persuasive individual, though it didn't take much to convince me. I haven't been around them for a while and this has been great. We're all sitting for our last hang out all together. Amita is running off to Paris, Daphne has some movie or something. Rose will probably travel with her while designing her next collection.
Everyone pretty much has something except for, as I like to call them, the fantastic four: Debbie, Lou, Tammy, and me of course. I sit on the floor as everyone watches a movie. My mind has been elsewhere since we wrapped everything up. Even before that if I'm honest.
'.... . -.--/ .-.. --- ..-'
(hey Lou)
The blonde turns to me from her seat and eyes me curiously before smirking. Leaning forward towards the table and position her hand.
'.-- .... .- -/ ..- .--.'
(what's up)
"What are they doing?" I hear Debbie whisper to Tammy, "hmm Morse code" Tam replies distractedly. As I think of something to say I watch the credits roll on the movie. It pops in my mind and I smirk mischievously.
'../ .... . .- .-. -../ .-/ -- ..- --'
(I heard a secret)
She raises an eyebrow and narrows her eyes at me.
'.- -. -..'
(and?)
I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing.
'..-/ .-- .- -. -. .-/ ..-.'
It takes her a second to get it since I abbreviated but her mouth falls open once she does. A furious blush paints her cheeks and her eyes widen a bit. "Take it back" she says quietly, I just shrug in response. "Take. It. Back" she stresses, hitting her hand lightly on the table.
Everyone turns their heads in our direction as she gets a bit more upset. "What did she say?" Debbie asks, everyone just looks confused as Lou and I stare at each other. I didn't expect her to get upset, I thought it was a bit funny even. She grumbles and gets up, her footsteps echoing through the space.
She practically slams the sliding door as she walks out and down to the beach. "What did you say? Or... tap, rather" Tammy asks, "nothing" I answer quickly. Getting up and following Lou despite the curious and frankly worried glances. I jog out until I find her, the cloud of smoke giving her away from over the tall grass.
I slow to a cautious walk until I'm beside her, I then take a seat. Pulling my knees up and holding them as I try to think of what to say. "It's not like anyone else could understand" I reason, merely thinking out loud. "Who told you that?" She asks ignoring my statement, "does it matter?" I counter and she sighs.
It's quiet again as she doesn't answer right away. "Do you?" I ask hesitantly, yet again she doesn't answer. "Debbie" I whisper, answering her previous question. "I thought she was joking. That you might find it funny" I explain. "Why did you think that?" She asks quietly and I sigh in response.
"Lou- I just don't... you can't. It would never work" I stutter, "why not?" She asks softer, "this is all just hypothetical" I sigh. "What if it's not?" She questions, I turn to her and see her looking at me. "I- I do" she answers to the elephant in the room or well... on the beach.
"So go ahead. Tell me all the reasons it wouldn't work" she says shakily and I close my eyes. How was I so blind to see it? It was right in front of me. "You own a club and you flirt with everyone, it's basically your trademark. You don't even like commitment. You're stubborn and you hate socks..." I list.
"But?" She says hopefully, "but I love you, I can't deny that. It just isn't... reasonable" I point out. "When is love ever 'reasonable'? It's not. I've changed... I know I've always been the 'badass' criminal stereotype. I'm different now. I promise and I can show you. You're right, I never was a settle down type person but you changed me, y/n" she confesses.
I turn to look at her and see just how vulnerable she actually looks. "I got upset back there because, I love you in a way I've never loved anyone else. It's hard for me to admit it. All this self-improvement bullshit was so I could be worthy of you. Even when I thought there wasn't a chance" she sighs.
"I don't want you to change for me, Lou. I want you to be yourself. It's the person I fell in love with, I just... it's consuming" I try to explain, "I know" she confirms. I motion for her to hand over the cigarette and she does. I take a drag and blow it upwards to the sky, watching as it disperses.
"I don't know where to start" I admit, "me either" she agrees. I look into her eyes and she looks into mine, both of us forming a silent bond. "How do we..." I ask, "just like we have been doing" she answers. "What is this exactly?" I ask blatantly, "a relationship" she replies questioningly.
"And you're... ready for that? You want this" I inquire, "just as much as I hope you do" she whispers. "Ok" I say shakily, she moves in carefully and wraps her arms around me. I sigh and relax into her embrace as I watch the cig fizzle out. "Lou" I call, "mhm" she responds in a soft hum.
"I want a nice house in the country. Maybe a garden and... some kids down the line? Not a deal breaker, cause I'm not too sure on that one. I wanna do anniversaries alone, just the two of us at home. A small wedding if we ever do get married. We could get a dog... or a cat" I whisper.
"I think I want to take at least 3 major vacations a year. And you have to start wearing socks. I'm not asking you to wear the fuzzies but not just dress socks either, babe" I joke and she chuckles overhead. "Whatever you want, baby" she agrees in a soft tone, "I really love you" I whisper.
"I love you too" she replies, and I hug her tighter. "I think this is the beginning of a lifetime" she whispers, almost like a revelation to herself. "Me too. I'm scared" I confess, "and a bit excited" she adds. "Exactly" I agree, "we can get though it together" she proposes, "always" I confirm.
