above all (m×m) ✔

26) kisses & panic attacks

The second Brandon realized what Steven was about to do, his breath hitched and the step back was instinctive. Their lips only brushed together, before Brandon stumbled and his back hit the door. It all happened so fast that Brandon's brain was still trying to piece together what he had done, as Steven's face blanched and he too stumbled back.

"I-I'm so sorry.. Fuck, Brandon, I didn't meant to, I'm sorry." Steven stammered, his eyes wide and dark with guilt and shame. He raked a hand through his hair, grimacing. "I promised and, fuck, I —"

This time it was Brandon's turn to cut him short. His mind was clear, all the clouds gone and he knew what he wanted. The haziness turned to razor-sharp focus, repurposing all the tumultuous thoughts into a simple matter of want and need.

With his heart thundering so fast it made his blood roar in his ears, Brandon tugged Steven closer with his hands on the collar of Steven's shirt. Steven's eyes widened with surprise and he let out a hum of breath, which felt warm against Brandon's lips. Brandon was aiming for soft and tender, to show Steven he was ready, but instead he ended up crushing their lips together, because he needed this. He needed to feel Steven's lips, to taste him.

Steven was stunned to stillness at first, but he didn't need coaxing to part his lips for Brandon. He let out a shaky laugh, then gently pushed Brandon's back back against the door. When they kissed like they had never kissed before and like they would never kiss again, Brandon was grateful for the support. His legs had turned wobbly and he would have fallen on his ass without something to lean on. 

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this.." Steven breathed, his voice coming out hoarse, as he parted from the kiss. Despite the fervor of the kiss, Steven's hands remained on Brandon's sides like he was afraid to press his luck. He didn't step back, but instead brought their foreheads together, pinning Brandon between himself and the door. "I still should have asked you first.."

Brandon's stomach did a backflip, which had nothing to do with fear, and for a moment he felt so happy he thought his chest was going to explode. He clutched his arms around Steven's lower back, burying his face on Steven's chest. Steven's heartbeat was a fast but steady thud thud thud in Brandon's ear, matching with the sound of his own heart.

"Don't be." Brandon told him. He could feel his cheeks burning, and yet he couldn’t help but smile. No, he was full on grinning with all his teeth on display, because he had never known kissing someone could shake his entire world, to simply feel so right. "I've wanted to kiss you for a while too, I just never had the courage."

"Every time I think you couldn't possibly be any more awesome, you do something to prove me wrong." Steven praised Brandon, cupping his face between his hands and kissed him again. When he pulled back, he was out of breath and smiling. "What you did for me right there.. No one has ever done anything like that for me, like, seriously, ever."

"That? As in.." Brandon made a vague gesture towards the kitchen with his hand. He had noticed the unease in Steven's body language, even as he hid it well, and he had wanted to show Steven he wasn't alone in whatever he was going through. "I just.. I can't be the first one to do that."

"I guess not, but.." Steven's eyebrows drew together, and he raked his hand through his hair again. He let out an uncomfortable chuckle. "I'm the fun, extroverted one and people tend to forget that I can get sad and uncertain too. Not many people are willing to go to such great lengths for me."

"I'm only now starting to realize that too, sorry." Brandon whispered, shifting on his feet. He too had often assumed that Steven had it all together, because he was just so.. Well, Steven. So easy to be around with and always so ready to smile. "But you know, your family isn't actually half that bad, and if you ever want to talk about them, I'm here."