above all (m×m) ✔

41) home

Brandon kept his gaze casted down on his shaking hands, taking slow, calculated breaths in and out. He just wanted to go back home, and couldn't help but wonder if being out in the open was ever going to be easy for him, or if it would make his insides quiver for the rest of his life. When the breathing exercises didn't work, Brandon started tapping the sole of his ratty sneaker against the asphalt.

"Hi." Ash's voice startled Brandon and he looked up from his hands. Ash gave Brandon a quick once-over, narrowing his dark eyes, before shrugging and sitting on the bench next to Brandon without another word.

The first time Brandon had felt at home was when Ash brought him and Shirley to stay at his parents' place. The Balakrishnans didn't have much money or space to begin with, but what they lacked with those aspects they made up with other things. Ash's parents never made Shirley or Brandon feel like they were intruding or living on their expense, but gave their all to make sure that Shirley and Brandon got their chance to make it in the big, vast world.

"Hi." Brandon breathed, mustering a quick smile on his lips. These days, most of his smiles weren't fake, as his life had taken a turn for the better. He had an amazing boyfriend, with whom he had officially moved in earlier that week, he was back at work, and he wasn't going to prison. "Shirley should be here any moment."

"Great." Ash said, and then they fell into silence. One much less oppressing than it had been when Brandon was waiting on his own, and he could settle his feet back on the ground.

Brandon had had his first appointment with the online therapist earlier that day. Ever since giving her a summary of his sob story, Brandon couldn't stop thinking about all the things he had missed out on while growing up. One of the biggest of those had been a safe place to live in.

"Hi, bug." Shirley exclaimed, pushing her big round sunglasses onto her head. Her hair was wild and she was panting like she had fought a tornado on her way there just to be on time. When Brandon stood up, she squeezed one of her arms around his shoulders and gestured with the other for Ash to join them. Ash did, and so they stood there sharing a group hug in the middle of the bustling city. "Hiya, Ash."

Apart from Perfect Day, where they got massive discounts from Prisca, Ash, Brandon and Shirley rarely went to cafés or restaurants. Even during their FAB days, they could afford just a pint or two of the famously cheap beer of the place. But, on certain occasions, burning money on overpriced tea, coffee and pastries was acceptable. Celebrating Brandon's dropped charges and his new house was an occasion special enough. 

The café Shirley chose for them was new for Brandon, but it seemed cozy enough with its yellow sunshade and squeaky lawn furniture. When they walked in, though, Brandon's heart started thudding fast and panic turned his palms clammy. Most of the tables were already taken, and there was a line leading to the counter.

"Can we sit outside?" Brandon made himself ask, stuffing his trembling hands into his pockets. He glanced around. "It's kind of crowded here."

"Yeah, sure." Shirley was quick to agree, her smile understanding if not a little sad. They all had the day's special, sticky pecan buns the size of their heads, and cherry flavored iced teas. As soon as they had ordered, Shirley guided them out of the doors.

It was a windy if not chilly day, and Brandon swallowed back his need to apologize. Ash or Shirley weren't complaining, and they weren't shivering or pulling down their sleeves in order to stay warm. Brandon was trying to stop apologizing over every little thing, and instead thanked his sister and his closest friend inside his head. They knew it was easier for him to go outside, so they did so even if it meant sitting in the breeze. 

"Holy shit, this is so good." Shirley practically moaned as she took a bite of her bun, her eyes widening to saucers. With her mouth full, she swore: "I'm marrying whoever baked this, I don't even care if it's a he."