Everyone Knows -Trans Tommy-

Chapter 4 - almost there.

Started: June 11, 2023

Finished: June 14, 2023

Trigger Warnings: panic attack, blade, suicidal thoughts, self deprecation, use of deadname, use of wrong pronouns

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~Tommy pov~

'Shit..SHIT NO NO NO!!'

My whole body tensed up, my breath quickened, and my hands clenched around the fabric of techno's shirt. 'What the hell is going on..?!' I thought to myself. I started to sob loudly and the cold tears fell down my face quickly. "Hey..It's okay..breathe okay.?" Techno whispered to me as he hugged me close to his chest. "Follow my breathing." Techno started to exaggerate his breathing, slowly inhaling and exhaling. I repeated what he told me, failing at the beginning, but I eventually calmed myself down enough.

"Tell me what happened..What's wrong?" There was so much wrong..but how could I tell him everything? Right now.? I am definitely not ready for that right now. "You don't have to tell me right now..Just know I'm here for you okay.?" "..I know..okay.."

Techno slowly stood up and got me up as well, my legs clearly still wobbly. He seemed to notice and put his arm around my very hunched back to keep me up. Then, he walked me out of the bathroom, he seemed to forget about the very soaked rusty blade on the ground until I looked back at it's lifeless figure.

"I'll get that later. Let's get you cleaned and bandaged up first.." He lifted up his hand and forcefully pushed my head away from its stabbing glare.

I nodded and sighed softly, following his footsteps. 'This is so embarrassing..why. Why did this have to happen today?' Honestly, I'd prefer it if no one ever found out and just let me die by own hands. I don't deserve what I have. A house, A family..Techno..

~Techno pov~

I can't believe this is happening. I don't want to believe this is happening. How did I not notice anything.? How didn't I see the signs?

'I'm such a horrible brother..' I thought to myself as I opened my door and sat Tori down on my bed. I joined them on the bed and placed my hand on their back carefully.

"Do you wanna talk about what's bothering you now or later.?" They shifted and stared off into space. "Tori?" They visibly tensed after I said their name.

"Is that what's bothering you..?" They paused, assumingely questioning what to say in return.

"...Yeah.." I knew it.. I knew that was the reason and I decided to ignore it. I felt as the guilt washed over me.

"Do you maybe..Do you want to be called something else.?"

"..Uhm..I-I was actually thinking about-"

And then there was a bloodcurdling scream from the hallway..

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HELLO WONDERFUL PEOPLE!! You are amazing! If you need to hear it...you are doing so well!! I'm so proud of you :D Keep going!! Make sure to eat, drink, sleep, shower, take your meds if you need them, and do everything that makes you happy (and is healthy!). Thank you all for reading and I hope you have an amazing day/night!

Also sorry for not posting last Sunday! I had a lot going on last weekend, so sorry again!! Still gonna try to get the next parts out on time, so sorry if I don't. 

BooSnopil signing off!

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