chapter three

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I stare outside my window as rain beats against the glass with one of my favorite books in my hand

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I stare outside my window as rain beats against the glass with one of my favorite books in my hand. I am growing frustrated with myself as I sit with my knees to my chest, trying to read.

Slamming my book down in frustration I can't even do things I used to love. All I seem to be able to do is stare at the dark words that lie within the book.

It's like the only thing I seem to actually be able to do is sit in bed doing nothing. It's like I'm not even me anymore; it's like I'm just a shell of the person I used to be.

And I hate myself for letting it happen. For letting myself fall so deep that I can't pull myself out of the dark pit I let myself fall into.

It feels like I'm drowning in emotions, yet I can't feel any of them. If I get excited or even a bit happy, it seems to fade just as fast as it came.

I was dragging a hand through my hair when, out of nowhere, Nix pounced onto my desk.

She lays on her back with her gray, fluffy paws in the air and her green eyes staring up at me. "What?" I ask the small fluff ball that lies in front of me.

Nix let out a small meow. She is the only thing I tell about how I'm truly feeling. Only because I don't feel like a burden when I tell her, plus she won't worry about me.

Outstretching my hand and resting it on her soft, fluffy stomach, rubbing her stomach. A low purring sound comes from her.

Nix's green eyes slowly close, and her small paws wrap around my wrist, like she was trying to keep me there.

I stare down at the small fluff ball in awe. My lips twitched slightly at the end.

Once I stopped petting her, her green eyes popped open, and she let out a meow like she was mad that I stopped petting her stomach.

I let out a soft giggle as I stood. She lets out one last meow before rolling over onto her side and into a ball. I grab one of my hoodies and slip it on before I head down the stairs.

I could hear the loud sound of the TV coming from downstairs. "You dick." I hear Noah yell at someone. My brows peek up in curiosity as I walk down the hallway.

I stop slightly in the hallway when I hear a familiar deep chuckle. I haven't seen River since the other night, when he helped bring Noah home.

It's not like I'm avoiding him; it's just that the universe has been on my side and I so happen to not see him.

Either one of them noticed me walk by and into the kitchen. The kitchen had a full view of the living room.

Noah and River both had their backs facing me as they played Call of Duty on the large flat-screen TV.

I watch in amusement as I listen to Noah talk shit to River. It doesn't look like he cares much, though he probably finds it funny. "You fucking basterd!" Noah shouted, hitting Riv on the arm.

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