The Contract

Chapter 22

"will you listen if I try to explain something?" He asks

"Can I still be in your arms, it makes me feel safe" I whisper

"You are wrong if you think im going to let go of you ever" I try smiling at him but fail miserably

"Peach, when your brain have't made peace with memories or when you push those memories aside so you don't have to go through them again, they resurface, they always will. I know these memories can be hard and very emotionally draining but I want you to share them. Thats not saying you have to becasue you dont' have to do anything you don't want, but it will help I promise"

"You won't ever look at me different for the things I went through and what I did to get out of that hell?" I ask

"Never, it doesn't matter what you went through, I won't ever treat you differently for it, in fact I will adore you more sweetheart. I am so proud that you got out of it and whatever he did to you, he will pay for it"

I believe him when he says he will adore me more, I mean he already looks at me like I'm the only girl in this world.he makes me feel beautiful and loved without even making me realize

"It wasn't a good relationship but it was my first one. I thought I had to do anything he asked but you know Alex, it felt wrong, all of it did. Everything about it made me want to throw up but I convinced myself that it was nothing, it was jsut jitters but I know now it wasn't"

"Didn't dad and mom know about this?" He asks

"I told them about rick but never how he behaved with me"

"Do you feel comfortable telling me how he behaved with you?" He asks, I nod at him

He pecked my lips and my forehead

"Im here, if you need to stop, do so at any time. It doesn't matter if it's in two words or 2 hours. You stop when you feel uncomfortable" I smile at how easy he was making this for me

"When I started dating him, it was good, nice, he would smile at me, even listen to my blabbers, it was fun but then it wasn't. it was our 6 month anniversary and I bought us some cake, I went over to his house and found him with his girl. It looked like they were kissing from where I stood but he promised it was just a hug. He seemed happy that night with me but then he would always bring up how im such a prude and a child for not wanting to have sex with him. I joked and said I might on our one year or something but he took that seriously" I whisper

"He forced you" Alex asks

"At our anniversary I had a couple shots, but I swear I wasn't drunk. He was kissing me and things got heated so I pulled back, I wasn't ready to have sex with him but he whined and told me how I was being stupid. He said he would love me forever if we had sex because we would build that intimacy. at last we did have sex that night, it wasn't consensual, the next morning I was a mess when I woke up next to him, I was bleeding, my head was messed up, I felt like throwing up but I couldn't go home or ask for help from mama or papa. I asked him for help but he just took me to the doctor, didn't even stay, jsut left. Turned out, he didn't use lube so hone he mhm when we were having sex I tore a bit, not too major but I did. I was bleeding for days. A month or two went by and he apologized and asked me to take him back, Emma said he was genuinely sorry so I did take him back. 3 years I sent with him were hell, every time we had sex it wasn't love or even attraction, it was just a job for me, a job to get him off so I can be free and not feel him inside me" I choke up with emotions

"Shh shh im sorry love, im so sorry you had to go through something like that. I am so sorry" he whispers kissing my head

"He mhm when I refuse to let him touch me, he got violent, always apologized but it happened again and again and again. The night you came to visit home, mhm for the dinner" he nods

"He had hit me, I told him I couldn't do this anymore, I was going to tell my parents but he got angry and took it out on me like away"

"Allison, im so sorry baby"

"Its' okay, see im better" I say smiling at him

"No, don't put this act up in front of me peach, you did it in front of your parents fine, but not in front of me" the smile on my face drops right away

"I can't"

"Ill be here to hold you and we will get through this I promise Allison" he whispers in my ears right before his lips touch my ear as he places a soft kiss

"It hurts to think about it, please Alex, make it stop" I whisper looking at him

"It will stop, I promise. Just breath" he rubs my back as I cuddle closer to him

I was sniffling a little in his neck as he continues placing soft kisses, he is so sweet, he is perfect for me.

"Xan" I blurb looking up in his eyes

"Yes AL"

"Do you feel ashamed to be with me?" I ask

"No, never. I feel amazing, I feel like I'm the luckiest man alive Allison" a smile forms on my lips hearing him

"Anything more and ill think you actually like me" I tease

"I do Al, I really do" the desperation in his voice to make me believe it was making me happy, he likes me, he really does

"Thank you Xan" I thank pecking his lips

"Thank you for?"

"For not looking at me with pity"

"Allison, I am so proud that you are my wife, you have conquered so much at such a young age, yet you have a smile on your face. If there was one thing I would want to learn from you, it would be resilience. Al you are the strongest woman and you are my woman, you are mine peach. It doesn't matter what happened because I will be right here"

I couldn't help but admit, I was falling in love with him, I really was and I don't ever want to stop.

"Xan" I whisper rubbing my nose against his cheek

he hummed kissing my head

"Will you take me downstairs so I can have some ice cream?" I ask, his chest moves a little as he chuckles

"What flavour is my wife in the mood for today?" He asks getting up with me in his arms

"mhm im thinking something basic like Oreo or smarties" I tell him after thinking for a bit

"Thats not simple Al, simple is vanilla" he says

"Vanilla is boring you old man" I tease as he takes me towards the kitchen

"It's not boring, its the safe choice"

"Exactly, old, safe, same things. Potato and patato same" I say as he placed me on the counter