- surfing feelings ⛅️ | ari gibson | a surviving summer fanfiction

part 25 - sunset cliff

Ari still hasn't let go of my hand.

My heart is pounding out of my chest. This was an ideal picture-perfect scene. Walking hand-in-hand with the boy that makes me go crazy and kick under the covers in bed with excitement.  The sunset looked perfect as well. The right shade of marigold orange with tinges of purple and pink mixing in. It was like Mother Nature was painting the sky just for this moment.

But there was still a stirring feeling in my stomach. Like an impending doom was coming my way. There wasn't anything that should make me feel this way, though. Poppy made it clear there were no hard feelings about Ari. Personally, I wasn't that bitter anymore about losing the Wildcard spot to Bodhi.

Calm down, Mina. The boy of your dreams and you are walking holding hands on a breezy Australian evening with a beautiful sunset. It's everything you've ever wished for. I snuck a glance at Ari and he was just staring at the horizon. I don't even know where we're walking to. I left in such a rush I don't have my keys or bag or sweater. When he asked to get out of here, I hoped he had a plan.

Wind then gusted into our direction and I felt it ring in ears. "Why is it so cold of all days? I'm going to get hypothermia at the end of tonight." I let go of Ari's hand and began to rub my upper arms.

"You can't get hypothermia. It's summer." He chuckled. I punched him lightly on the shoulder. 

"You know people who run marathons? If they sweat enough, their bodies can lose enough body temperature and then they can get it." I pointed it.

"How is it that you know so many useless facts but you forgot how to make a leash knot for at least two months?"

"I was 13. You can't get mad at me for that!"

"You're right. I can never be mad at you. Not for long, anyways." Ari said quietly. I slowed my walking and looked up at him. He continued to speak. "And you are right. My panic attacks aren't healthy. But I need you to stop trying to have me tell my mom. I need  this summer, Mina. If I can't at least make it to the state competition without my mom knowing, I'll be a wreck. She'll have me put my whole surfing career on hold."

"Ok. Ok. I promise not to tell Abbie and Thommo about them. As long as after the state competition, you do." I said slowly. Ari smiled and reached for my hand to give it a tight squeeze. "I worry about you, Ari. All of us do."

"I know."

"Good. I'm glad that this is settled. We're ok?"

"We're ok. Again." 

"Cool. Now did you even have a plan of what we're going to do?"

"Look behind you."

I turned around and saw breathtaking view of Shorehaven sprawled out before us. I couldn't help but stare in awe at the sight.

"Wow, Ari," I exclaimed, my voice filled with wonder. "I had no idea we had walked this far up.  The view is incredible." I was so nervous the whole walk and stared at my feet, I didn't think the walk was that uphill. 

Ari smiled with a proud face. "Yeah, I thought you might like it. The sunset from up here is something else."

I moved closer to the edge of the cliff, my gaze still fixated on the scene of small homes and moving cars. The coast seemed so far away as well.

"You were right," I said.

All the homes were so tiny with lights beaming through that they looked like an army of fireflies. The waves crashed against the shore and the sun had already set but not all the way which left the color of the sky look like two different worlds. The bottom was still peeking orange and pink while the top loomed with a dark blue. "Wow. How did you know about this place?"

"I used to come here at night to escape overbearing parents when I was still recovering from the fall." Ari crouched down into a ball on his feet by me. I followed suit. We were leaning over the edge of the cliff.

"Right. The fall. I couldn't imagine it. I've only climbed up and viewed Stairway from below. Never in my life can I jump it." Ari sighed and I looked at him from the corner of my eye. Some hair falls from behind his ear. "But." I reached and tucked his yellow curls back. "That shouldn't have happened to you. I'm not sure what possessed you that day but I'm glad you're okay."

The sun began its descent, casting a golden glow across the cliff where Ari and I stood. It finally became dark. The ocean stretched out before us, its waves crashing against the rocks below. It was a breathtaking sight, but my attention was fixed on Ari. The glow fell on his face, making him shine. 

Thinking back on it, the fall gave Ari so much trauma. I held back a large breath. That whole year I was worried. I couldn't help think if Ari thought this cliff reminded him of Stairway. I sat on my behind and let my legs hang over the edge and rested my head on Ari's shoulder. Pebbles fell down the cliff. I tried to reach for his free hand. Ari shifted away and made me take my head off his shoulder. 

"Hey, Mina," Ari said, breaking the comfortable silence between us. His voice held a hint of hesitance that made my stomach swirl. Was this the impending doom I've been feeling?

I turned to face him, my heart pounding with anticipation. "Yeah, Ari? What's up?"

Ari took a deep breath, his gaze momentarily fixated on the rolling waves below. "You know how big I am on surfing, right? It's like my whole life revolves around it."

I nodded, trying to hide the disappointment that was about to surface. Of course, I knew about Ari's love for surfing. He lived and breathed it, and I admired how dedicated he was for the sport.

"So, Mina, here's the thing," Ari continued. "Surfing takes up so much. There's training, competitions, and sponsors to deal with. I don't want to let you down or make you feel like I have no time for you. You're one of my best friends."

Best friends. His words hung in the air, and I felt a lump forming in my throat. I already knew what he was going to say without him saying it. The way he spoke and him inching away from me said it all. I wanted to yell at him. Protest and fight as I've always been there to advocate for him. Say I didn't care how busy he was. As long as I can still be around him. But I didn't want him to feel guilty, so I put on a smile, hiding my disappointment.

"Hey, Ari, it's okay," I said, my voice attempting to sound nonchalant. "I get it. Surfing is your passion, and it's important to chase after your dreams. I wouldn't want to hold you back. It was stupid. You know? To think it'd go anywhere. We're still kids."

Ari's expression softened, gratitude in his eyes. "Thank you, Mina. You're awesome."

I fought back the tears threatening to spill over, trying to appear strong. "Yeah, no. It's ok. Definitely. We're still friends, right? Nothing has to change between us?"

Ari reached out, gently placing a hand on my arm. "Obviously. We'll still be friends, and I'll be there to support you, just like you've always been there for me."

As I glanced at him, Deep down, I knew I had to respect his decision, even if it hurt me. Maybe, with time, his feelings would change, or maybe I would find someone else. I just really thought it'd be Ari in the end.

We stayed there on the cliff, watching the waves crash against the shore and an awkward silence filled with unspoken emotions. Despite the feeling of my heart being ripped out my chest, I reminded myself that life had a way of unfolding in unexpected ways. 

But it still hurt.