Darius sunk down on his purple, crushed-velvet couch and watched with mild amusement as Raine lugged a posterboard covered in bullet points and little red heart doodles into his living room.
They propped it up against the wall and turned to Darius.
"Okay." Raine smoothed a picture of Eda doing finger guns in the center of their posterboard. "This is my entire plan, start to finish, along with plans b, c, d, and e."
That's-" He studied the board. "-a lot."
"Exactly! I need to do this right, because I've already screwed up asking her out before."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~flashback time :O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Raine clutched the piece of paper in shaking hands.
Darius clucked his tongue from behind them. "I don't know why you're so nervous. She's going to say yes. You know that, I know that, even that bitch knows it." He gestured to Odalia and wrinkled his nose.
Raine spun around. "No! I don't know it! She could say no! In front of everyone...and...hate me...forever...and"
"Oh look," Darius deadpanned. "There she is." He shoved Raine out from the crevice they were hiding in and gave them a thumbs-up.
Raine flushed as Eda walked up to them, her hands in the pockets of her grudgby jacket.
"Hey Rainstorm." She said. "What's up?"
Raine found themselves incapable of speech.
"Interesting." She noticed the piece of paper Raine clung to. "Oh! What's that?"
Eda reached for the paper, but Raine pulled it away.
"N-no!" They managed to sputter out. "Y-you can't see it."
Darius face-palmed.
"Oooh!" Eda grinned. "Keeping secrets, huh? We'll see about that."
She drew a spell circle and a thin vine crept up behind Raine and snatched the paper away.
It rose high in the air and was placed in Eda's waiting hand.
Her eyes scanned the paper as her face grew more and more flushed.
"How to ask out Eda Clawthorne." She read aloud. "A ten-step guide by Raine Whispers for Raine Whispers."
Raine put their face in their hands and groaned. Their anxiety abandoned them in the face of complete and utter failure.
"Look, it's fine if-" They looked up at Eda who was holding the paper to her chest, her eyes watering.
"Y-you do like me back." She said.
"Told you so!" Lilith called as she walked up Hexside's front stairs. Eda turned and glared. "Sorry." Lilith waved her hand dismissively. "Carry on."
"W-wait. I'm confused." Raine said. "You're...happy...I like you...back?"
The realization hit.
"You like me?!?"
"Duh!" Eda said. "So...will you go out with me?"
Raine was rendered speechless, but managed to nod.
The bell rang, and principal Faust's shadow appeared in the doorway.
"Oop! Gotta get to class." Eda grinned. She pecked Raine on the lips and continued up the stairs, tucking Raine's dating plan into her pocket.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~back to the present :O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"And it worked." Darius pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, what if you just told her you're still hopelessly in love with her?"
Raine's cheeks flushed red. "I am not hopelessly in love."
Darius waited.
"Okay fine! Maybe I am! A little bit. Shut up."
"Why must you hurt me in this way?" Darius said sarcastically, clasping his hands together.
Raine sighed. "Listen, as long as I follow steps 1A-10A, everything should be fine. If I screw that up, I'll follow steps 1B-4B and then repeat steps 4A-10A. If she says "no" steps 1E-6E are how to react appropriately, but if sh-Hey!"
An abomination with Darius's signature bun had waddled over and snatched the posterboard. It walked over to the fireplace and tossed it in. Raine's carefully crafted plan turned to ash in a matter of seconds.
"Hey! That used eight whole Sharpies!
"And now it's gone. You need to chill with your plans, just...go for it!"
"Did that work for you?"
Darius paused. "Uh-"
"Well clearly it did, you and Alador are going to be married in three months."
"Exactly! Spontaneity is great for you!" Darius flashed the diamond engagement ring on his finger.
Raine sank into the couch next to him. "You're not helping."
"I think I'm doing a great job."
Raine put their face in their hands and groaned.
"Why is this so hard?"
"You just haven't learned the language of love."
Raine lifted their head just long enough to give Darius a death glare before collapsing on their side and curling up on the couch.
"I just really hope she still likes me even after I was stupid enough to break up with her."
Darius face-palmed.
"We've been over this a quadrillion times. She. Is. Still. In. Love. With. You."
Raine groaned and put one of Darius's many many throw pillows over their face. This particular one was pink with white ruffles. "Stop telling me what I want to hear."
"Have I done that, ever?
Raine had to think about that. Darius was the most honest person they'd ever met.
That was not a good thing.
"Okay, good point, but how would you know that?"
"Okay, I'm done with this. I'm going to go make myself some tea. You have fun sulking."
And with that, Darius exited the room with a flourish and Raine was left alone with their thoughts and way too many throw pillows.
A/N
890 words besties :O
I'm thinking this will have like ten parts? Maybe more?
I honestly haven't even figured out the whole plot yet
This is a bad idea isn't it?
Anywho
Thanks for reading!
- a very weird author
