stand here with me || h.s

6.

Song for this chapter is Tied Knots by The Album Leaf. Listen to it cause it goes really well with the stuvf towards the end (especially the flashback!)

Six : Hallie

For once, after a few months of stress and chaos, I had been having an incredibly peaceful morning. I grocery shopped, then I unpacked a few boxes, had a nice swim, went to yoga...and I was even able to go and get my nails done. I hadn't been this calm in-well, I really didn't remember the last time I was calm. Now, finding a parking spot on the street outside The Sunset Grill was the biggest problem I'd run into, and really, it wasn't even that bad. Adam sent me a text saying that he was around the corner, so I grabbed my purse and stepped out. I had perfected the whole walking while texting maneuver, so as I walked towards the entrance, my eyes were locked on my phone screen. I think that when I looked up a few seconds later, everything, and I mean everything just stopped. Eight and a half months. So many weeks, like, thirty or forty-something weeks, and he was there. He was standing there hugging someone tightly and he hadn't seen me yet but that didn't matter because I'd seen him. I saw him and now I was frozen and I couldn't move and I couldn't breathe and my eyes-I couldn't take my eyes away from him. I couldn't look away from the man that I had loved so deeply. He was thin, much thinner than the last time I'd seen him. His skin wasn't that golden color that only the California sun had given him. His hair was long, longer than usual and it looked nice. He was wearing that stupid Indiana Jones hat that he loved so damn much. The blonde woman he was hugging-I couldn't see who she was but I didn't care who she was. Harry was here, less than a hundred feet away from where I stood and I was breaking. The minute he saw me, he looked away before double taking immediately. The blonde was talking animatedly but his eyes were no longer on her. He was staring me down, eyes darting to every inch of me until they finally landed back on mine. He stood there and he stared at me and I stared at him and I couldn't breathe-couldn't even think because he was right there. "How'd you manage to find a spot-" Adam came up behind me before stopping abruptly. "Shit..." Harry looked from me to Adam and then back to me until they remained on Adam. His brow furrowed the way I'd seen it furrow hundreds of times before, he did it when he was upset. "Hallie, let's go inside..." I wouldn't-couldn't budge. I literally could not move. It was when he walked towards me, that's when I began to internally panic. He wasn't going to...he wouldn't, would he? The girl-or woman-who I now recognized as Erin Foster, followed him. Her face resembled Adam's in a way.
"Erm-" He cleared his throat. "Um, hi-hey."
"Hi..." My voice cracked, noticeably.
"You, um, y'alright? Like, you good?" I forced a smile and nodded.
"Mhm, yeah. Good." The world seemed to be in absolute slow motion as he stood there in front of me. "You?"
"M'good, yeah-been alright." An intensely uncomfortable air settled over the four of us.
"We should probably head inside, Hal..." I nodded, my throat too dry to speak. Harry looked frantically between us.
"Yeah, Harry, we should get going." Erin stared at him but he still wouldn't look away from me. A pull on my arm broke my focus and I turned to see Adam trying to get us out of this awful situation.
"Yeah, we should-yeah. Um, take care..." I stuttered out before attempting to walk away. We only got a few feet before I heard him say my name.
"Hal?" The simple shortening slowed my heart rate down almost entirely, while simultaneously breaking it. Adam stayed where he was, as did Erin, but Harry stepped forward, so I followed his movements and took two steps towards him. I was close enough to smell the faint scent of his Tom Ford cologne. "You're okay, right?" It wasn't a question like, hey, you good? It was a question that made me wonder why I'd let myself be without him for so long, but it also reminded me of why I left in the first place.
"I'm..." I struggled to find the right response. "I'm fine." I knew by the way he was looking at me...I knew he wasn't going to buy that. I mean, he wasn't an idiot. "Are you-are you okay?" He hesitated before answering.
"I'm-I think m'gettin' there? Kind of in-between, I think." I nodded, understanding completely.
"Yeah."
"You look good, Hallie. You look so good." I felt nauseaus again, but this time, it was different. I liked it.
"You look..." I always had trouble lying to him about simple things. "You look pale. You also look kind of scrawny..." A smile broke on his face and it warmed my entire body more effectively then the sun. "And that hat..."
"You never did like this thing."
"It's not terrible...if you're trying to look like Indiana Jones."
"Can always count on you for the truth, yeah?"
"Always." His smile faded at my one worded response and I wasn't even sure how to continue on with this exchange. "I should go...but, um..." He waited for me to finish. "It was good seeing you, Harry."
"It was so good seeing you, Hal..." I knew he wanted to say more-say something, but nothing came, though I waited for it.
"Do us all a favor and go get a tan, okay?" His chuckle, that laugh.
"Skin cancer, Hallie."
"Sunscreen, Harry." He stood there, smiling at me like he used to smile at me. I was momentarily taken back to our days together, standing in the kitchen with him, both of us giddy and in love and so, so happy...had I dwelled on it anymore though, I would have broken down. I would've cried until my tear sacs were, once again, empty. No more words were said as we walked away from each other and that was a shame because I could have stood there, burning underneath the brutal sun, with him all day. I would have stood there until we couldn't stand any longer. But he walked away and I walked away and it was over. Just like that.

***

Those were the days, man...

"You're a fucking idiot, Harry."
"What is this? Is this you breaking up with me? Because if it is, then just bloody do it. Get it over with because I'm sick and tired of arguing with you over stupid shit!" I shoved him aside and tried to walk away before my feet carried me back to him, an angry finger pointed to the little crease in his brow.
"Fuck you! This isn't stupid shit! You know what's so fucking stupid?"
"What, Hallie? What's so fucking stupid?" I struggled to find the right words.
"You! You're fucking stupid! And I hate you sometimes! I hate you because-because..." I couldn't even come up with a reason to hate him. Hating him was impossible. "God, just-just fuck off-fuck you." He grabbed my waist and pressed me up against the counter.
"Why do you hate me?" I didn't answer him. "Tell me why, I'm dying to know." I don't know why, but as instense as the shouting had become, I couldn't stop the smirky-smile from spreading across my face. Soon, his was mirroring mine and I knew I could never-would never be able to find a reason to hate him. Because hating him was impossible.
"You're an idiot." His lip was sucked in-between his teeth and he pressed his forehead firmly against mine.
"What were we even fighting about?" I shrugged, unable to recall the last few minutes.
"I don't hate you." My fingers latched onto his t-shirt. "I could never hate you."
"I hope you mean that."
"You're a difficult person to hate-you're fucking difficult to even dislike. It's annoying."
"Is it?" He nuzzled his nose against my nose and I felt his lips tickle my cheek.
"Entirely."
"I love you." I closed the miniscule distance between our mouths and kissed him, then I wrapped my arms around his neck and he bent down so I kind of just hung there. "Tell me you love me." I shook my head, giggling while he began kissing all over my neck and face and ears and shoulders. "Say it. Say you love me."
"Never..." A playful bite made me squirm in his grasp, but he steadied me.
"Hallie Mantegna, tell me you love me. Tell me that I'm it." His lips, as they brushed against my ear lobe, gave me the goosebumps. "That I'll only ever be it."
"No..."
"Monkey..." He whined, still managing to sound sexy as fuck.
"You're it."
"I'm what? Sorry, didn't quite catch that."
"You're it, idiot. You're fucking it, okay? And I love you and I could never hate you and I'm yours forever because you've ruined any other man's chance."
"Is that because of my knob?" I snorted loudly.
"That's the only reason, yep."
"Hmm, thought so."
"I love you. Probably too much..."
"No such thing as too much, Hallie. That's just absurd. Take it back."
"I love you more than frogs love monkeys."
"Not more than this frog..."
"Maybe..."
"M'nope. Not possible."
"Yes possible."
"Hallie..."
"Agree to disagree?" He kissed me again.
"Fine." We kissed for a while, neither of us even thinking about the screaming match that was taking over our household only minutes before. It was true though, I couldn't ever hate him. Even if I tried.