stand here with me || h.s

16.

This is the worst and the shortest chapter and I'm very sorry but I'm also very sad and it's slightly impossible, writing a whole sweet and happy chapter when I feel like spending the rest of my life crying and sulking because boys are mean and you should never let yourself be treated badly or taken advantage of. Be strong and don't let them hurt you because they will hurt you, if given the chance. I love you all for being amazing and I love my best friend, Ky, I love you so very much. I hope you guys don't hate me for the quality and quantity of this chapter. Next one will be better, I swear it.

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Sixteen : Seven months prior

London was cold. Miserable and cold and unbearable. It was also lonely. But my house was warm and there was a girl in my bed, so I shouldn't have been cold or lonely but I was. I shook the nameless blonde off of me as I rolled away and stood up. My phone clock read 3:43 AM and I could see the white flakes of snow against the indigo sky. London was cold. It was also so seemingly empty, I felt as though I may have been going a bit mad. I drug my body down the hall and into the kitchen, heading straight for the bottle of Bowmore Scotch that Robin had given to me. It was 3:43 AM and London was empty and London was cold and the girl in my bed was not Hallie. She didn't have freckles and she didn't have a space between her two front teeth and she was blonde. She didn't chew on her thumb when she was nervous or uncomfortable. She tasted like stale cigarettes and Tequila. She didn't taste like Hallie. She wasn't American, I think she may have been French, possibly. Maybe even Italian. She wasn't Hallie. Hallie was gone along with my heart. I sat down in the chair that looked out over the backyard and watched as the sky turned into a slightly lighter shade of blue and the snow fell heavier than the newscasters said it would. Looking back at my phone, I saw that it was now 3:59 and then seconds passed and it was 4:00. I gulped down swig after swig until I couldn't see straight. That's when I opened my call log and found Hallie's name down at the very bottom. It rang and it rang and it rang some more before finally going to voicemail. It wasn't the one she recorded where you could here my voice in the background. It was uninteresting and completely unlike Hallie. The beep sounded and I cleared my throat. "S'me...um...you're not answering. It's um...it's like...four o'clock here. Don't know where you are...m'like angry though, I guess? I know it was all, like, my fault, yeah? But like, you didn't fight for me. You just gave up, Hallie? Why...why did you just give up on me? I'm so empty without you...I'm nothing...like, can't eat... 'cept scotch. Still drink a lot of that. I miss you...like, the smell of you and the way you tease me and stuvf...miss your eyes and I miss all of you, just like...all of you and you're gone and I don't know where you are, Hallie, I don't know where you are and I don't know if you're okay or if you're happy? Are you happy, Hallie?-"

"Your message has been erased. Please re-record your message after the tone." Instead of listening to the automated voice, I ended the call and tossed my phone across the rug. I let an ocean of sobs wrack my body as the sky continued to grow lighter and lighter. When it was no longer a blue, but a grey color, I heard heels clack against the hardwood, then I heard the front door open and close and I knew that the unidentified girl was gone and I was truly alone.