Waiting for my death | Horizon zero dawn fanfiction

Chapter 8: Whispering Mirrors

A/N
!⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️! This chapter will contain sensitive themes regarding mental health, such as extreme panic attacks and vomiting. If you're sensitive or easily triggered by these things, I recommend skipping to the next chapter. Or stop reading at all because these themes might be progressive throughout this whole story.
/IDlindberg

Dear Ivy,
I've arrived at grandma's apartment now. It's very cozy, I must admit. But it painfully reminds me of our time here. How we used to build fortresses out of pillows and blankets in the living room, and how we then played that we were two young warriors fighting on the same team against a great evil. We fought against creatures who could take away someone's breath in an instant, and the only way to defeat them was with a special type of magical sword we needed to acquire. I suppose we never really stopped fighting together, never until the end.

I shut my notebook after rereading my phrases over and over again. It's still unimaginable, how she was there one day and then suddenly gone in the next. Nothing but memories remains. When I started to really let it sink in, the fact that she was truly gone, it was like a part of myself disappeared. It's a wound that will never heal.

I heard that there's five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But it's simply not enough, putting the complex feelings into simple words. It feels more like an environment within someone, like a forest or an ocean. What the environment consists of, if it's pleasant to be there or not, if the weather is extreme or calm. My inner self used to be a magical harbor full of life, until a violent tsunami suddenly hit and shredded all signs of life and then burnt them to ashes.

Out of nowhere, I hear the door to the guest room crack behind me. My heart skips a beat, like an electric beam goes through my body, before turning around and seeing grandma standing in the doorframe.

"I was thinking about ordering you some food, since you told me you hadn't eaten. Are there any special wishes?" she asks.

"Sushi" I reply, half awake half asleep.

"You're a girl of culture, I see. What type of sushi do you want?"

"It doesn't matter, I'm not that picky," I say, not telling her the full truth. I'm not that hungry in reality, and I don't have the energy to think of something in particular that I want. "And thank you," I quickly add.

She enthusiastically gives me a thumbs up, tells me she'll be right back and leaves the apartment.

It feels comforting to be alone. Feeling lonely, however, is rather disturbing. I take this time of loneliness to walk around and inspect her apartment in peace. It's a two story apartment, located high up in the skyscraper, making the astonishing view of San Francisco clear in the evening lights. Working for FAS supposedly made her pretty wealthy, since it's as if walking into a dream come true.

The stairs are placed linearly next to the high reaching windows, connecting the two stories together so effectively. There's a fence made of glass on the second floor, creating a view downstairs towards the overly modern white sofa. There's a fireplace placed in front of it, creating a peaceful aura visible throughout the rest of the apartment. Andy, the innocently wholesome and sweet golden retriever, is sleeping peacefully in the middle of the couch.

My guest room is located on the second floor. I can't resist but to lean against the glass fence, admiring the breathtaking view from above. A city full of life, soon to be turned upside down.

I take a deep breath, trying to push those thoughts out, but it's all in vain. Images of the world being ripped apart flash through my mind like a wildfire.

No, that can't be it. Zero dawn will save us, right?

I make my way downstairs, hearing a strange noise from the living room directly below me. It's clearer once I get nearer, I suppose grandma forgot to turn off the tv. She probably forgot because she didn't hear it due to the low volume.