SANTINO

THE PROTECTOR

MIA:
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The sound of my heart beating against my chest is the only thing that can be heard in this room. Maybe everything is just in my mind and this I just a sign to me, that I should just calm down.

I couldn't get any sleep last night and it was because I had continuously woken up to take a piss. Whenever I was done with my business and was washing my hands, I couldn't help but see little sixteen-year-old me in front of the mirror.

A part of me was terrified by the thought of being pregnant, but I am not going to lie and say that I don't feel somewhat happy about it. I mean, after what I went through six years ago, it's nearly impossible for me to not be happy about this.

This may not be Christian's baby but it's a baby nonetheless. Another life that may or may not be developing inside of me.

I woke up this morning and Luka was nowhere to be found- except for the note that he taped into the bathroom mirror for me to read.

I've got a few things to do. Call me if there's an emergency and do not go anywhere without Pope or any of the guards... take care.

Now, I'd be lying if I said the entire thing wasn't thoughtful- because it was- but I was not in the right state of mind this morning.

My only concern was taking a shower and getting dressed up for the appointment I made with a new doctor. I know I was taking a big risk but I didn't care, I can't have anyone know that I could be pregnant and that is just exactly what would happen if I chose to go to the family doctor.

So, here I was... scared out of my mind and waiting for the doctor who went to pick something up from the lab.

I don't think I've ever felt more alone.

Even when I was pregnant with Vanessa I never had to go to an appointment alone because either Christian or Lily would go with me.

But this time I was alone.

A knock on the door interrupted me from catching any more concerning thoughts. In walked the doctor that was taking care of me.

"I got the results back from the laboratory," she entered with a smile on her face.

I swallowed the lump that was stuck inside my throat. "What does it say, Dr. West?"

She took a seat across from mine and handed me the envelope. "You're pregnant, Mrs. Adams."

Oh my god.

The sound of the fake name gave me a reason to process everything slowly... but the more I processed it, the more petrified I became.

I'm pregnant.

"Isn't this exciting news?" West asked me as she ran some things on her computer.

Exciting news?

How is being pregnant with the devil's baby exciting? This baby will always be in danger and there is no telling the life it will have when it grows.

"I- um- can we do an ultrasound?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"Sure!" She looked back at me. "I was just going to recommend one right now. Anxious to see your little one?"

I nodded because I really was anxious. "A little."

"Is your bladder full?"

I looked up again. "All the time."

West laughed and pulled the SonoBed out, motioning for me to lay flat on my back and raise my sweatshirt.

Because it was a rainy day today, I was only wearing black leggings and a grey sweatshirt that I stole from Sebastian years ago.

I took off my boots and sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm down as the gynecologist was grabbing some sort of gel and began to place it on my belly.