Denial (Salvis)

Worth a Shot {19}

        Sal stared into the darkness of his room, the only light source being the glow from under his door. He hadn't spoken to Travis since they'd gotten off the bus, he didn't want to annoy him. Sal's stomach was twisted into knots, his throat tight, but still, a smile tugged at his scarred, tattered lips. Sal was definitely not considered pretty by the general public. At a young age, he'd been in a very serious accident, resulting in the loss of his face and his Mother, Diane Fisher. After, what was left of his face was heavily deformed. The majority of the right half of his face was simply an amalgamation of scarred flesh, some of his teeth were visible through the hole ripped in his cheek, his lips were torn, making them rough to the touch, he hoped Travis hadn't minded too much when he kissed him. The accident also resulted in severe damage to his left eye, which was surgically removed, Sal had been using a fake, glass eye as a replacement. Due to these unfortunate events, many of his senses has been substantially deteriorated, such as taste, sight and smell, but even with the mask, some parts of his injuries were still noticeable. His speech was slurred, many of his words were almost incomprehensible because of it, one of his biggest insecurities. Travis wouldn't love him if he knew what he really was, nobody would. A part of him felt guilty, like he was manipulating Travis into a lie, that he was deceiving Travis in some way, but how could he possibly stay away? The love in Travis' eyes, the way he would soften when they were together, it was all too addictive. He couldn't resist it anymore, he reached for his phone and clicked onto Travis' contact.

"Hey Trav! How are you?" Travis responded almost instantly, he also must've been thinking over the interaction they'd shared earlier.

"Hello, Sal. I'm doing well, how are you?"

"Im doing great! You should loosin up a bit"  Travis' rigid way of texting felt very uncomfortable.

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"You text like your righting an essay, just type how you talk!"

"But, that would be incorrect?" Sal laughed, Travis never failed to amuse him.

"Its okay to be wrong sometimes Trav! But can i talk to you about something else?"

"Fire away, Sal." Sal paused to think about what to say, he never actually considered the wording of what he wanted to express.

"I like you a lot, and I know that you are having problems with being gay and thats okay. I just want to know what youre willing to do."

Travis didn't respond for around a minute, causing Sal to think he'd said something wrong and panic.

"I don't know yet. I want to have a relationship with you, but I can't shake the feeling that it's wrong in some way. I'm sorry, this is probably bad for you too, but I want to try it out with you, if that's okay of course." Sal let out a frivolous giggle and rested his the remanence of his chin on his hand, grinning widely.

"YES! and if you dont like it thats okay, but its worth a shot"

"Yeah, may I ask you to keep this a secret? I need to sort out my own shit before other people know."

He stared at the screen, smile slightly faltering. Sal knew that Travis had issues, and he didn't blame him, but a voice inside of him was screaming. Through Sal's eyes, Travis was asking this because of him specifically. If he wasn't a freak of nature, would Travis still be asking this?

"Of course Trav, nobody will know."  He swallowed his shame and continued the conversation, however the excitement he'd felt a few short moments prior was slowly disappearing . 

"Thank you so much, so, what now?"

"wanna go to the rollercade tomorrow? We dont have school and we'd need to go to the city but its gonna be super sick!"

"I can ask my Father, though I don't know how to roller skate."

Sal typed out his response, but hesitated before sending, wondering if it was too bold, "You can always hang onto me if you need ;)" Regret hit the instant he sent the message, his face cringed at the awful sentence he'd just sent. Worse yet, Travis wasn't responding. Because of how fast his previous replies had been, Sal knew he was in the chat. He could almost see Travis' face, mouth agape with horror, he was definitely rethinking the whole relationship thing.

"Sorry that was weird. wont happen again Trav"

"Haha, that's okay, Sal."

Sal sat up, "WOAH! Did you just laugh, Trav? thats new, you should try it more!"

"Perhaps I should. I have to go now, I'm supposed to be reading over Father's speech for the service this Sunday, he won't be pleased if he finds out what I'm really doing."

"Bye bye Trav, YOU GO READ THOSE BIBLES!"

"?"

        Sal waited at the bus stop, the agreed upon meeting spot, Sanity Fall blasting in his ears through his worn out Walkman. Due to Henry's more than lacking career, Sal was never able to afford top of the line, new or trendy items, and received mostly thrifted possessions.

"Hey, Sal." Travis' muffled voice could barely be heard over the metal music, Sal pulled the earbuds out of his ears and turned to greet his possible partner. The details of their, "relationship" were very unclear, but he was sure it would all come in time. Travis looked nervous, his hand anxiously rubbed the opposite arm, and he was noticeably avoiding eye contact.

"Trav! Bus should be here soon, we've just gotta wait."

"Uhm, yeah, okay. 

"You alright? You seem upset." Sal softly squeezed his shoulder, resulting in Travis finally looking at him.

"Yes, I'm just a bit nervous, I guess." 

Sal chuckled, "You and me both, man! I have no clue what I'm doing."

"Doesn't seem like it, you always act so calm and collected, how do you do it?"

"Guess I was just born this way." He shrugged, nudging Travis towards the bus as it pulled up. They took seats near the back of the bus, very few people occupied the vehicle, as not many residents of Nockfell travelled outside of the small town other than for holidays or special events. Although there was enough room to spread out, Sal made sure to sit directly next to Travis, lightly pushing his leg up against the other boy. The awkward tension was almost too much to handle, he could see Travis shifting in the corner of his eye. Sal didn't know what he was doing, until he felt Travis' shaky hand gently fit into his own. His thumb grazed the soft, fleshy part of Sal's hand, as he rhythmically moved it up and down in a comforting manner. The butterflies in Sal's stomach intensified, could it be possible that Travis wasn't ashamed of him?

Word count: 1146