Overshadowed (Thor/Narnia Crossover)

Part IX

He had seen a glimpse of who Loki had once been, Edmund was sure.

Barely, but he'd seen it. Just a sliver, but enough. Loki had bounced back fast, his confidence surrounding him. His certainty inspired Edmund.

That, that was what Edmund wanted. To leave behind this hurt, this fear, to bury it. To become so powerful that no one looked down on him, so no one hurt him ever again. So no one saw the things that scared or wounded him, the things that made him human. He couldn't continue to disappoint and hurt those he loved if he chose this for good. They would be- and that would be that. Edmund would be unable to make it worse if he became what they feared and stayed there.

"I'm glad I met you." Edmund looked to Loki, leaving his thoughts.

Loki smiled, that same cold, calculated smile. Neither of joy nor compassion. Not pity, but something else. It was a blank look. So often used, its meaning became lost. Not forced, but not genuine. Of all the smiles Loki had used, and there had been many, not a single one had been truly happy. Content. Kind.

"I am too, Edmund Pevensie. I've very much enjoyed getting to know you."

Edmund nodded. It had been interesting talking with Loki. With one who understood. Although Edmund still felt uncertain about Loki, he did appreciate what he had told him. How much he could relate. Their lives seemed to parallel so easily. Had so many similarities. Except Edmund was quite certain his family did love him, Loki seemed as if he did not believe that about his own. Edmund cocked his head at Loki.

"You'd like my mum and dad. They're nice." He smiled at him. "Maybe someday, if I ever get back to them, you could meet them."

Loki nodded politely. He seemed uninterested but trying to care.

"Did you not get along with your own parents?" Edmund looked to Loki quizzically.

Loki blinked, caught off guard by the question. When he didn't initiate the conversation on some subjects, he seemed uncertain. It appeared Loki preferred when he had time to plan his exact response, real feelings and truth being far too vulnerable. He wanted to respond in a way he could use to his advantage.

He opened his mouth, blinked again, and turned away, tucking his hair behind his ear, though it was already there, still slicked cleanly back.

"Well," He faced Ed again. "My mother always cared for me. No matter what. I....we....she was good. And kind."

His words felt halted, almost as if speaking of her were painful. Edmund did not fail to notice the use of cared. The use of was. He didn't ask further. He wasn't sure how Loki, unpredictable as he was, would react.

"But Odin," Loki continued, a poisonous hiss edging into his voice. "He claimed to love me. He said he did, but he favored Thor. I knew. I was weak; disappointing. I tried. I really did try."

He swallowed. "But I learned, eventually. I let him be correct. One perfect son, and the other- a monster."

There was no hiding the pain filling Lokis eyes.

"I could have been great. Now, I'm the villain. I used to think that if I could prove myself enough, it would help him to love me. But then I learned the truth. One thing changed everything, and I saw clearly. I could never be enough because he had already decided who I was- with or without my help. Laufeyson."

Edmund watched sadly. He didn't really get that last part, but he understood the rest. He might be able to relate to a lot of what Loki said, to many feelings from Lokis past, but thankfully, Ed knew his parents loved him. He didn't feel as though he wasn't enough for them. They loved him as much as every one of their children, and Edmund always felt safe and content at the thought of them. Never worthless. Never unwanted or forgotten.

"I'm sorry." Edmund looked at Loki sincerely. "I can't imagine being so unloved in my family."

"Oh, I didn't say I was unloved. You misunderstand." Loki cut in. "I never said I wasn't loved- just not loved equally. I wanted to be loved as much; not more, not less. I had love; I wanted the same love shown my brother. That's all. I didn't think that was too much to ask."

Edmund looked down. "I see. And I agree. It wasn't too much. You deserved it."

Loki laughed suddenly. "I deserve a lot. I was told it was my birthright to rule. And so I will."

His eyes were dancing mischievously again, his smile back once more.

"We'll make our own destinies, Edmund. You and me. Proving we will not be forever overshadowed." He elbowed Edmund. "Are you ready to become a king?"

Edmund smiled, readjusting his helmet. "You know it! No High King Peter to sit above me!" He paused. "We will have equal power, right?"

Loki put hand to his chest in mock offense. "You would doubt that? After all we've said today? Of course we will. Two kings, no one greater than the other." He held out a hand. "Honorary brothers?"

Edmund grinned, grasping Lokis' hand, shaking it. "Honorary brothers."

Lokis smile held that eerie hint of untrustworthy charm. Edmund brushed it off. He was finally getting what he wanted- he wouldn't jeopardize it by questioning his shifty new friend.

Loki scooped Edmunds helmet off of his head, vanishing it into thin air. Edmund furrowed his brow. He wanted that.

"Can't return you home wearing that, can I?" Loki dusted off a boot.

"Oh." Edmund put his hands in his pockets. "Do I have to go back? Can't we start working tonight? I'll stay and help."

Loki shrugged. "We could, but it won't make a difference, and it won't be difficult to come pick you up in the morning to start. You'll need your rest, but it's your decision."

Edmund sighed, thinking. "I'll have to decide while we walk, that okay?"

He looked to Loki.

Loki nodded, ruffling Edmunds's hair. "Shall we go?"

Edmund smiled up at him, starting to walk.