CH 13 Memphis Broken Heart

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Memphis POV-- Barn above

I'm pacing the fence line on the side of the barn and I'm so angry I want to break something. I pick up a horse brush that's lying on a fence post and throw it across the yard but it does nothing to squash my anger. I can't belive what I just saw. I rub my eyes trying to ease the image of my brother and boyfriend making out.

That was not just a kiss Titan had his tongue down Avery's throat and his hands awfully close to his dick. I still can't believe Avery would let Titan kiss him after everything I have done to prove to him how much I love him. I turn at the end of the fence line and start pacing back towards the barn as a crestfallen Avery and bewildered Titan come out of the barn.

Titan is the first to say something. "What's your problem Memphis?" I push up into Titans face. "What's my problem? My fucking problem is my brother my straight fucking brother is sucking face with my god damned boyfriend." Titan tilts his head and takes a step back throwing his arms open wide. "Since when the fuck have you been gay? You had a fiancée? You were engaged to Sabrina for forever you don't like men? Do you?"

I get so fucking angry. "Fuck I have always been gay since I can fucking remember I just did what I thought was right being with Sabrina and it made me fucking miserable so I left and I wish I would have never came back. And since when the fuck have you liked dick Titan?"

Titan actually blushes. " I don't really care for dick but damn I love ass." I lunge at Tian but he steps back. "You were willing to fuck my boyfriend for shits and giggles because he has a nice ass really Titan."

Avery finally decides to speak up. "Stop Memphis it's not what you think just calm down and let's talk about this." He tries to reach out to me but I shake of his touch. "No fuck you Avery how could you kiss my brother? You have been acting weird all day have you guys been doing shit since this morning I don't know about? Damn you Avery I changed everything to be with you. I even went a fucking month without so much as a hand job because that's what you wanted. So you can fuck off too."

Avery throws his hands in the air. " If that's what you think then we really have more problems then I thought I fucking love you and would never do anything to hurt you. You know what I'm leaving I don't have to take this of all people Memphis you.."

"Ughhhhhh." I yell at his retreating back. "Good, run away from your problems no wonder you have never had a boyfriend if you just run when you can't handle something."

Titan looks at me."Really Memphis was that necessary I didn't fucking know about you two maybe if you weren't in the damn closet and told me from the beginning he was your boyfriend not your best friend none of this would have happen. So blame your own damn self for this mess not us." I watch as he follows Avery into the house as well. I continue pacing until I don't feel like I will punch Titans face in and I think maybe I won't yell just at seeing Avery's too pretty face.

As I walk back up to the house I see Titan driving Avery away in his truck and just like that my anger is back ten fold. Good they can go fucking be together I don't give a shit anymore. Avery has been acting weird all day if he fucking liked my brother he should of fucking broke up with me first. But somewhere deep down I know I'm just running my mouth but I'm to blind in rage at the moment to care about that small voice in the back my head feeling me to stop him.

I slam the back door as I walk through the mud room. My dad is waiting for me at the end of the hall. "Come to my Office with me for a minute will ya?" I relunctingly follow behind him and sit on the sofa in his office and wait for him to speak. "What had Avery tearing out of hear like his ass was on fire it's Thanksgiving he's not going to be able to get a flight out?"

I hang my head and rub my temples. "Dad that's between Avery, Titan, and me don't worry about it." My father shakes his head and temples his fingers. "I thought it might. You shouldn't let your brother get to you he's willing to screw anything with legs. I don't know why all my boys have to be so premiscous. And don't think your aunt didn't tell me how you have been behaving in California not that the silly broad ever mentioned it was men."

I pale."What do you mean Daddy?" My father smiles at me. "Just that I know you and Titan are more alike than you think. I didn't need your auntie to tell me you where gay if that's what your afraid of. I will tell you what I told Avery this morning. I have known since you were five years old there was a good chance that you would be inclined to like male company. You don't remember this but one day at the redo you told me you were gunna marry a bull rider. I always waited to see if that's how you felt as you got older I didn't really think a five year old knew their sexuality but you never did say anything. Then you got engaged to Sabrina and when ever I would try to broach the subject you would run."

I sigh and hang my head. "Daddy, it's true I have liked boys since I can remember but we were always taught in church it was a sin, so I just tried to be straight I really tried with Sabrina we were god friends but I didn't love her and it was killing me inside to be with her."

My father comes and sits next to me and puts his hand on the back of my neck like he use to when I was young. "I know this hasn't been easy on you and your mother and I have tried to support you and your brothers as best we can but this was one thing we just didn't want to push you on and it might have been a mistake but we have always had you boys best interest at heart. And I think you really messed up letting Avery leave. That boy loves you and I don't know what happened but I guarantee you it wasn't his fault. We have lost two workers from Titan trying to get down their pants and I bet he did the same to Avery not knowing what he means to you."

I sigh. "Thanks for being so understanding dad but I don't think Avery is as innocent as you think he is, he has been off all day." My father's slaps my leg rather harshly and I shout. "Hey what was that for?"

"You silly boy Avery has been off all day because I talked to him this morning about you two and he wouldn't confirm my suspicions but I knew he knew I was right deep down and I'm sure he was just uncomfortable being around me even though that wasn't my intention. I just wanted you to be honest with me and I thought now that you have Avery you would have someone worth coming out for."

I think about what my dad said I really do but I think it's best if Avery goes home and I have time to cool off. I will deal with this when I get home. I walk back to my room and lay in bed. This has got to be the shittest Thanksgiving ever.

I don't know when I fell asleep but when I wake up I'm starving so it must be passed dinner time. I walk down stairs and everyone except Titan is in the living room. "Hey guys why didn't you wake me up for dinner?"

My mom pats the seat next to her. "Come here we want to talk with you the food can wait." I go sit next to my mom I'm nervous as hell as my mom looks at me softly."Memphis is there something you would like to tell us all? We love you and would never judge you honey."

I hang my head. This is not happening to me right now. I wish I would have just stayed home in Cali." Mom do we really have to do this right now?" She pats my leg. "Yes honey it's way past time. I should have pushed you sooner to tell us then maybe you wouldn't have left."

I groan I hate when my mother guilt trips me. "OK fine I'm gay I love sticking my dick in ass not just any ass male ass. Are you happy now!" I feel the slap up the back side of my head before I hear the sound. I rub the back of my head while staring at my mother."Now Memphis Rawlings that is no way to talk, but I'm glad that it's now out in the open."

I avoid looking at Graham I'm afraid of his reaction so I look at my dad sitting on his recliner. "Are you going to let your wife beat me up like that." My dad scoffs. "Boy if I wasn't sitting in my chair I would belt you right now for talking like that on front of your momma and your sister in law."

I look away a little ashamed of myself when I do I catch Grahams eye and I don't see the disgust I thought I would. All I see is sadness. "Just say what your thinking Graham I'm a big boy I can take it."

Graham looks me right in the eye so I know he isn't lying. "I love you and your my baby brother nothing could ever change that. I just wish you would have told us sooner I'm upset you left for such a dumb small reason." I sigh and look away before I answer." Graham I probably would have left no matter what this ranch isn't what I love to do. I don't think anything could have kept me here I'm not content here on the ranch like you and Titan I wanted to pave my own path. Besides if I wouldn't have left I would never have meet Avery and even though I'm pissed at him right now he is the love of my life."

Graham smiles at me. "If that's true you better go get him from Titans house before he tries to steal him." I know he is joking somewhat but he is right I should go get Avery and work this out with him. Ugh I don't think I will ever get to eat Thanksgiving dinner. "OK eat without me I'm going to go get Avery.

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