You know, it is forbidden...

Part 8: Realisation

Yoda was sent to Rugosa to deal with Separatists, meanwhile we, the rest of the Jedi got to stay here on Coruscant. As usual, I was hanging out with the old gang (Kenobi and Skywalker), as they were the ones I am most familiar with

I don't like the "Jedi way" as they say, even though I live by it. I just find it too... strict. Sure, making choices based on your emotions can lead to catastrophe, being this isolated doesn't favor the individual a bit. Obi-Wan and Anakin are a bit looser than the others, and I kinda like it

"So gents, what's the plan?" I asked. We didn't have anything to do, so why not pass time a little?

"No idea either. We can't really do much here." Anakin said. 

"Well, I'll be off here. I've got some business to do." Kenobi said, as he exited the hall. We looked at each other with Skywalker

"What do we do?" I asked. He then started thinking of something before saying this...

"You should tell her." He said. 'What? Tell what to wh... Oh'

"Tell her what?" I asked back. I'm not... you know

"That you like her" That made me jump a little.

"Anakin... how many times should I tell..." I started to say, but got interrupted

"I didn't say you do. But remember the bet? If you tell her, it's over." He said. It's still no good.

What if I tell her? If she doesn't feel the same, than I explain everything, end of story.

But what if she does? How will I tell her that? And what will she feel if we literally play with her feelings. She is still a padawan, this could give her a huge scar.

"No, not happening. It's just unethical." I replied. This is simply... not fair with her.

"Isn't liking someone as a Jedi unethical?" He asked. What's with him today?

"1. I don't like her that way and 2. What the fuck? What would I do if she felt the same? Tell her that we made a deal? Or what?" I asked slightly annoyed.

"True, but she is also a Jedi. I don't think she has these kinds of feeling at this age" He admitted. This was it

"This is just stupid..." I said standing up, and leaving the hall. He and this Ahsoka bullshit puts me on edge.

I recently discovered that Anakin was right in that my kind of "fear" is related to her padawan somehow, but how? Am I afraid of her? And if yes, why? These kinds of thoughts were occupying my mind as I entered my personal cabin. I sat in my chair, and began thinking.

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Ten minutes have passed since. And I still haven't come up with anything other than the info I already have

And, all of a sudden, my comm started beeping.

'What do you want?!' I asked in myself annoyed as I answered the ping.

"Master Newton" I started with introduction. Then I heard a voice...

"Heey!!"

...a voice full of enthusiasm, joy and peace

Ahsoka

"Hey" I said, still annoyed but... something happened. I'm not as annoyed as before

"Nothing. Just complete boredom. There?" She asked back.

"Nothing here either. I'm slightly annoyed, but that's it." I said

"What happened?" She asked 'I can't tell her the whole truth...'

"Anakin... he is just too stubborn and ... cruel somehow." I said

"Why do you say that?" She asked with a bit of concern

"Nothing much. We just had a minor disagreement, but that's all" I said, hoping she'll believe it

"C...Can I hel...help?" She asked with uncertainty. 'What is with the uncertanity. And again, just with me, as I see...'

"Well, not much... just please talk about other things. I just want to forget the whole thing." I said

What is with her? Is she afraid of me? Just as I'm afraid of her. Afraid... kind... helpful with me. But with everyone else...

Except for the fear part. But why is she afraid of me?

We talked about many things, when I decided it was enough

"I... kinda have to go." I admitted

"Okaay. Do you want to talk later?" She asked.'Why does she want to speak this much to me?'

"Suure, if you want to. Got to goo. Byee!" I said

"Byee! Mi..." I heard before going into a kind of mumbling. I hung the call up

Okay, what was that? And why does she want to talk to me so much? Not that I mind, it's just... strange. 

Until... I put the two things together. She wants to speak to me, and is afraid of me. And nothing is like this other than...

"Oh no..."

~~~

Heey everyone. Sorry if this is a little fast paced, I'm trying to rush everything.

Also sorry if the description of... that is not the best. I'm not sure if I've ever felt it.

See you next time,

Dan