I Hate Parties. {Rusger}

" I love you idiot "

Chapter 11

" = speech
' = thoughts/thinking

Russias point of view :

' Well this day was certainly a fun day wasn't it. The only boy I loathe is now my only crony and the only boy I developed an infatuation for won't even look at me anymore. Perhaps this is fate, maybe I'm just destined to suffer an endless cycle of hate and regret. Or maybe, just maybe, my fate is to become one with my floorboards. Maybe I should try to go back to the happy little kid I used to be. That's humorous , I need to stop conceptualising unrealistically.'
I thought to myself as I took another swig of the liquor bottle. I've grown accustomed to just lying on my floor like this.

I began to think about Germany. About all our cringeworthy interactions, about his smile... ' that damn smile. Why, why does your smile have to be so fucking bright? '
As I thought this I felt that familiar wet feeling rolling down my eyes again. I reached my free hand upwards and pressed down on my forehead.

' It's blinding because I love you ...I love you idiot. '

I suddenly sat up and lost my grip on the bottle, allowing it to fall to the floor .. Without realization my body moved on its own as I darted down the stairs and out the door, slamming it shut behind me. I didn't care about how my dad would react. If you can even call him a dad. I ran , I ran as fast as I could. If I just make it in time then perhaps I won't be too late. Maybe I can fix things. I completely lost track of how fast or how long I was running for, my mind was filled with him. Before I knew it I was standing in front of a tall oak door. I was sweating profusely and I was completely out of breath.

I stopped for a moment and asked myself if I was really doing this. I knocked gently, but hard enough to hear. In due course it opened and I was greeted with small familiar face. Just looking at him made me feel so much better. Or maybe it's the alcohol in my system that's making me happy. I stood there almost in shock at what was occurring. I was so disorientated in my thoughts that I hadn't even heard him asking what I was doing here. I fell forward a little bit and pulled him into a tight hug.

Tears were once again gushing down my face. I let go, and with one hand I gripped the center of my jacket where my heart was.

"I love you Germany! ..I love you so much, you don't understand! '
I said through gasped sobs as I put my head down to conceal the look of embarrassment on my face. Oh how long I had been waiting to say that.

There was an awkward silence before I was dragged into the house by my sleeve. As the door closed behind us, I was brought to a living room. Germany sat me down on his couch and wiped away my tears with his soft jumper. As he went to wipe them one last time I took hold of his hand to keep it in place. I allowed the left side of my face to sink into his warm palm. What a feeling this was. It was as if all my worries had faded away.

I want to stay in time like this. I wanted everything to stop so I could stay in this moment forever. Unfortunately, it was but a fleeting moment. We lingered like this for mere seconds, Germany could tell I needed this, but he could also tell I wasn't sober.

"Russia, .. you're lucky my dad isn't home."
He said with a small laugh as he tilted his head slightly to meet mine.

"Your dads a prick, and so is mine. Who cares what they think they have no right to judge anyone for anything."
I said this as if my reputation wasn't one of the most important things to me. But did this reputation that I once held so highly even exist anymore?

"It's late .. I don't how you got here but you're definitely not sober enough to walk home. There's so much I want to ask and tell you but, I'll wait until tomorrow. For now just sleep. I'll get you a blanket."
Germany said in a quiet but gentle voice.

The warm feeling left as Germany went to get me a blanket. I lay down on the sofa. It was comfortable. Unknowingly, I fell asleep then and there. I was exhausted. The dreams I had anticipated didn't arrive. Instead I had nightmares.

When Germany had returned with the blanket he noticed I had fallen into a deep slumber.

I could feel the blanket being put around me but it was difficult to tell my nightmare from reality. As the warm feeling faded again I reached my hand out unconsciously to grab the warm feeling.

Third person point of view :

Germany stood shocked as Russia held his hand tightly with no intention of ever letting go. Tears again fell down his face as his nightmare continued.

" Please don't go .. please. I need you. "
Russia said through sobs.

Germany kneeled down and continued to hold Russia's hand. He rested his face next to Russias and rubbed his wet eyes.

" I'm here. It's okay. "