Doctor-Patient Confidentiality: New Adult Enemies-to-Lovers Romance

Chapter Thirty-One

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The curtains rise slowly, revealing our ensemble of violinists and vocalists to an incredibly large, seated audience.

The enormous stage lights are bright and feel hot against my face and neck, perfectly illuminating our musical assembly from high above our heads. The auditorium is packed, just as I expected it to be—as we all expected it to be.

The annual Weitzman performance is one of the events that always gets sold out quickly. Last year, I was seated in the audience, far behind on the other side of the renowned stage my moccasin-clad feet are currently planted on. I had been restless at the time, feeling giddy and excited for the whole duration of the show as I watched my upperclassmen perform their hearts out.

I'd been so eager to see the show that I ended up staying in my seat the whole time, even during the intermissions. I didn't want to miss a second of the experience, even at the expense of my unhappy bladder, so I sat there for two and half straight hours in sheer amazement, just happily taking it all in. I kept imagining what it would feel like to be up here, and I couldn't wait to find out. Now I know, although I never imagined I'd be feeling the disappointment I feel now.

Get a grip, Roni! I mentally shake myself. I need to get out of this funky mood, at least for now. What's done is done, and I'm here now. I may not be in the exact position I thought I'd be, I may not be in the exact position that I want, but I'm still here, dammit! And this is still a performance that I'm going to be judged on, one that's going to count toward a good portion of my final grade at the end of the semester, so I have to bring my A-game, no matter what.

Besides, when I really think about it, just having the privilege to be on this stage is more than enough, and this moment is too important to me to not give it my absolute best, regardless of whatever else is going on in my life. There's no point in beating myself up over what I can't control.

I don't even have the time to fully process all the emotions running through my mind all helter-skelter. I'll deal with all of it later. Right now, all I'm going to focus on is singing my ass off, because that's all that matters.

***

An energetic chorus of claps bursts through the auditorium, echoing and reverberating throughout the hall. The audience is full of smiles, and they all rise in a magnificent standing ovation to demonstrate their praise. The smacking sounds crack through the air and bounce off the walls and ceiling, making their way to the stage and back. A few whistles and verbal cheers make their way through the tidal wave of claps as well.

The applause is even grander than the audience creating it. They're clapping and cheering as if they're getting paid to do it. It's obvious that they really enjoyed the show.

Normally, I'd be getting an incredible rush of adrenaline by now. I'd always imagined I'd be feeling ecstatic in this very moment, right after such a huge and highly anticipated show, but I feel anything but.

I should be on 'the ultimate high' after seeing their reactions, I should be making my way up to cloud nine, but instead, all I feel is numb right now. Numb and demoralized and...unsure. Unsure of everything. Life seems to have a fondness for doing that to me lately. The curtain lowers and shields our ensemble from the view of the audience once again, but we can still hear the very audible slaps and smacks of their seemingly undying applause.

"Oh, my gosh, you were great, Kayla!" I hear someone say. "The audience loved you!" they continue to gush.

I'm afraid to turn and look to see who it is, so I don't. That's the last thing I want to be hearing right now. But honestly, it wouldn't matter if I did, anyway. They're right. Kayla did an amazing job. It's a hard pill for me to swallow, but it's the truth. Still, that doesn't make admitting it or standing here and listening to their gushing any easier to deal with.