"This would be a long road. But a hell of a good drive."

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TW- DETAILED EATING DISORDER/ SUICIDE TALK/ SH/BLADES/AND THE WORST. GAYS🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
Finney Pov!
I've always knew there was something wrong with me. Even before escaping that basement. I had no strength. I never had strength. I skipped meals, a lot of them. Only surviving on water and tiny foods. I have this thing. It's a eating disorder. No one really knows. Gwen gets suspicious about it sometimes. But I just dust it off. I don't need help. I don't want help. I'm perfectly fine like this. I cover myself in thick clothing to give me the look of a regular teenage boy. I only weigh 76 pounds. I've always been small but I don't remember weighing 76 fucking pounds. I mean I have nothing to look forward to in life. I'm so done. I'm only here for Gwen and Robin. The sad thing. The selfish thing. I want one of them to die so I have an excuse to get my life over with. I already lost my mother. It's been way to long for me to kill myself from that. Robin's my boyfriend. He knows nothing. He hasn't seen me without a shirt or pants. He hasn't even seen me with a short sleeve on ever. I'm disgusted of the way I look but it's the way it makes me feel. You can feel your stomach slowly eat itself. You can almost feel your stomach caving in. It brings joy to my face. I like to lay in bed and just sit there feeling my stomach as it gurgles and prays for a tablespoon of anything. It's selfish I know. It just feels so good. Think of it as an addict. They don't feel anything until they shoot up or get drunk. It's almost the same way. I crave that stomach eats itself. I crave that perfect body. I crave my fragile bones. I then get out of bed. Checking my phone, it was 3:27 pm. Robin was coming over at 4:00. So I walked into the bathroom. I looked myself in the mirror. I was more pale than ever. Eye bags were pressed under my eyes. My body was slowly breaking itself. I would just smile about it. I brushed my hair and my teeth. I went into my room. I put on sweatpants and one of Robin's hoodie. I stare at myself in the mirror, god knows how long. I heard a knock at the door. I finish putting my hoodie on and walk out of my room. Feeling my hips ache at every step I take. When I move my joints feel like they will detach. So that's fun. I opened the door. "Hey Finn!" The boy said smiling and pulled me into a hug. I got uncomfortable. I know he could feel my ribs. "Uh, come in. It's cold out." I said breaking the hug and walking to my room. "So, I brought snacks!" Robin said holding the bag and moving it around a bit. Fuck. "Oh, nice. Thanks." I said giving him a weak smile. He looked at my face. My cheekbones now noticeable, my adams apple was poking out more than usual, and my nose looked like a bone. "Finn." He said grabbing my chin. "Hm?" I responded. "Are you okay?" He asked me. I chuckled. I didn't answer. "Finn, are you ok?" He asked again. That's when I couldn't hold it anymore. I started crying. "I'm not okay, Robin. I'm not." I said as he held me close.

Robin Pov!
Finn has been real quiet lately. I understand he may still be scared from the grabber. But it's worse now. It's summer and he's showing up to school with heavy hoodies and pants on. I understand if he doesn't want attention on him but it's scaring me. He was like this even before he was "grabbed." I'm his boyfriend and he still hasn't opened up to me. He knows about my dad dying and my mom leaving me to my uncle. I cried in his arms. The same way he is now. I never realized how bad it got. We were standing in the middle of the hallway. I told him about the snacks and he seemed to change emotions. He was scared. Finn has always been smaller than most. It's gotten worse. He can get knocked over so easily even in the hallways. I've seen Gwen accidentally knock him over. I looked at his face. Paleness sweeped his whole face even his neck. Seeing the eye bags that were glued to the bottom of his eyes. His cheekbones seem to come out even more, his jawline looked like it was about to pop out. His adams apple was bulging out of his neck and his nose. It was all bone. You could see his bones through his hands. I grabbed his chin to get a better look. He didn't look ok. "Finn?" I asked him. "Hm?" He responses. "Are you okay?" I said as he looked at me. Tears were prickling in his eyes. "Are you okay?" I asked again. Then he broke down. Sobbing. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. I could feel his ribs again. "I'm not okay, Robin. I'm not ok." He said choking on sobs. I picked him up. "Stop! Put me down! P-please!" He screamed trying to get out of my grasp. I put him down. "What's wrong!?" I said staring at him. "I-I, uh." He said still coughing through sobs. "Take your time." I said and put a hand on his shoulder for support. "Can we go to my room?" He asked quietly. "Yea, of course." I said and grabbed his hand. We entered his room. He closed the door and I sat on his bed. He stood in front of me of the edge of the bed. "I need to do this. You deserve to know, I can't hide it forever." Finn said sighing and wiping his face. I grabbed his hand for reassurance. He nodded. "Robin, I have a E-eating disorder. I know it's gross and selfish. I can't control it! It wasn't because of that stupid basement. It was just a small habit but it's gone to far. I cut myself too. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm so selfish! I'm weird and fucked up." Finn said as he held in his tears. I grabbed him and placed him on my lap. "Oh amor, it's okay. I'm glad you told me. You're not gross, selfish, weird or fucked up. I know you can't control it. I want to help you I want you to overcome this. I want to be there for this. Cutting yourself isn't selfish. I'm helping you." I said as I teared up to. I didn't let them fall though. "Thank you. Your not going to leave me, right?" He asked me. "I would never. But one thing." I said. "What?" He asked me. "I need your blades, anything you cut yourself with need to go." I said. He nodded and got up. I walked after him. He lead me to the bathroom. He grabbed a box out of the sink and opened it. There were different blades in there. "How about we flush them?" He said turning to me. "Even better." I said as we walked toward the toilet. He grabbed the blades. It was just like addiction. He knew he had to get rid of them. I wrapped my arm around his wait and nodded. He then dropped them in the toilet and flushed it. "Im so proud of you!" I said pick him up. "Thanks, but aren't I too heavy?" He said looking at me. "Nope but I do want you to try to get a little heavier. Just a few pounds?" I said grabbing his hand. He smiled. "I think I can do that." I hugged him. "Let's go get the snacks! I got bottle caps!" I said. "My favorite!" Finn smiled.

This would be a long road. But a hell of a good drive.

IDK IF THE LAST PART MAKES SENSE BUT IDCCCCC

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