Valerie

12 - Val

'fag' = cigarette

I shut the door behind me, shivering from my rain-soaked clothes. I had just gotten home after Thomas' birthday disaster. How had I managed to royally fuck up so much that Thomas ended up beating up his own cousin at his birthday party?

I cringed at the memory of Thomas punching Tyler in the face and then cringed some more as I remembered what Tyler's slimy fingers felt like on my ass. 

I mean, Tyler deserved it but the bottom line was, I most definitely did not have a job anymore. 

Ignoring the weird feelings that arose every time I thought about Thomas defending me like that, I made my way to the bathroom to take a much needed shower.

However, before I could even touch the doorhandle to wash the events of the day off, I heard that all too familiar ring of the red phone.

This was the first time someone had called me since I hung up on my brother for even suggesting that my father come and see me. He had been studiously ignoring me just like I had ignored him for several weeks prior to that call. 

With a frustrated groan, I convinced myself that I wanted a relationship with my brother and he was important to me so I therefore couldn't and shouldn't ignore him. 

I trudged over to where the phone was in the kitchen, still sopping wet.

"Val." I heard Will say on the other end of the line. Reaching above one of the cupboards in the kitchen I felt around for the packet of cigarettes.

"Will." I said in return. I pulled a cigarette out. 

"We need to talk." I gave a wry laugh. Will was being cryptic and weird and after the day I had had, I did not need this. "About our last call."

I opened the small window that was in the kitchen and hopped onto the counter. 

"I don't know what you want me to say." I said truthfully before lighting the cigarette.

"I just- I just want you to give him a chance." Will said softly.

"Will." I warned.

"I know. But I don't want us to be fighting and I want you to hear me out. Please."

I took a drag out of my cigarette. "Okay." I said quietly.

"Look, I know that the things he said to you in the past were cruel but you have to understand that he was hurting. A lot. And I think that he wants to make amends, I know he does."

I paused. My brothers only knew about the things my father used to say to me. It's your fucking fault. The world doesn't revolve around you. If the world was fair, you'd be the one dead.  You're so fucking selfish. And while I knew I deserved most of it, it still hurt all the same. Just the thought of my father made bile rise to my throat. But Will didn't know everything, and I couldn't blame him for that. 

"Val, you there?"

"Yeah, I'm still here." I paused before saying, "Will, he isn't coming."

Will sighed. "Our family has been so broken for years, Val. First Mum died," I flinched. "Then you left and everyone has moved out, leaving Dad on his own. Mum would have hated this, you know that. She loved all of us and she wanted us to be together, as a family. I'm just trying to do that."

"I know but-"

"No, you don't, Val. I have no idea what your life is like. I want to see you, I want to get to know this new version of you that isn't through a red phone. I went from seeing you every single day to having not seen you for over three months!"