Valerie

20 - Val

TW: Mentions of E.D.s, anxiety, abuse and vomiting

It's been about a week since I watched Bridget Jones' Diary with Thomas. Two weeks since Will's phone call that changed everything. A week until Will and my father come to visit. Five months since I ran away. Four years since my mother passed away.

As the week progressed, I just got more and more anxious. After three weeks of not a single cigarette, I was up to multiple a day. My grades were lowering and I spent the majority of my time with my head in the toilet, chucking up practically everything I had consumed that day. Which was not a lot. In fact, it had turned into nothing. 

My mind was a mess. My life was a mess. After five months of feeling nearly safe and having a break from the constant nausea, I was back to square one. 

It had gotten to the point where I was considering moving out because I did not want my father to know where I lived.

On some nights, when I had finally managed to get to sleep, I would wake up and see his face. I would hear his words, feel his fists.

I was tired and struggling so much. 

At 5pm on Friday, I decided that I needed to take control of my life somehow. Sure, I couldn't handle solid foods at the moment but I could have tea. Or coffee.

I pulled on my rain coat and boots as it was currently pouring and made my way to my favourite coffee shop. Where Jack was.

"Oh my God, it's been ages!" Jack exclaimed from behind the counter as I entered the coffee shop. Several customers' heads turned his way but he ignored them, striding over to me and squeezing me into a hug. If I had to admit it, I needed it. "You're so thin, have a cookie." He said, rounding the counter again. 

"I'm alright, I just came for a drink." I said, a sheepish smile on my lips.

"What can I get you, then?" He asked expectantly. "Tea?"

"Yes, please." I said, pulling my card out.

"Don't be rude." He scolded, taking out his own card and paying for it with his own money.

"Thank you, Jack." I said, giving him an appreciative smile.

He only nodded and shouted, "Linda, I'm going on my break!" He grabbed the tea and a coffee that he had made for himself and sat down at one of the tables by the window. A small candle was in the middle of the table, lighting up his warm smile.

I sat down opposite him. "So, how's that school of yours? Have you met anyone?" He said, sipping his coffee while giving me a mischievous smile.

For some reason, the first person that came to mind was Thomas. I had no idea why. Did he even fit into that category?

"Uh, not really." I laughed nervously.

"That sounds like complete bullshit." He said, giving me his bullshit face from across the table.

"What?" I spluttered.

"Mable came in the other day. She said you met someone." Jack said, sipping his coffee, watching for my reaction. 

I choked on my tea. "She what?!"

"Yeah. And not just anyone. Thomas. Verner." He said, raising his eyebrows. "When were you going to tell me this?! And quite frankly, I'm hurt that you lied."

"Oh my God, we are just... friends."

"You do realise how unsure you sound right now, right?" He said.

"That's not because we're... lovers-"

"Oh my God, never say that again." He said, giving me a disgusted look.