Chapter 10

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Kieran and I were late to French. But as he liked to point out, the kind of French we were studying was much better. That had earned him a gentle smack in the arm.

I felt so awkward walking next to Kieran as we’d slid into the classroom one behind the other. I almost felt as if every single person who was staring at me, knew exactly what we had been up to. It had brought an involuntary blush to my face as well as an angry scowl to my lips.

Once again, when I walked to lunch with Kieran chatting away at me by my side, the other teenagers we passed kept casting knowing an judgemental looks at the pair of us. Clearly Kieran didn’t notice, or he just didn’t care. But I hated it. So I walked to the cafeteria in frustrated silence, trying to keep at least a foot of space between us.

When I ditched Kieran after getting my food, I could see the slight disappointment on his face. Despite myself, I felt a tad guilty, so I reassured him that he could call me later if he wanted. He’d grinned up at me, nodding before I was on my way to my cousins’ lunch table.

It was quiet when I had arrived. That was bizarre. What got me the most, though, was that Patrick didn’t greet me with his usual icy glare. Instead, he sat in complete silence, not even batting a lash at me. Jamey and Rory were whispering quietly to each other, and Aria was staring down at her food just like Patrick was. Even Phoebe avoided eye contact with me, only nodding minutely when I mumbled a hello to her.

At first, I just thought they were all being weird. I brushed it off and started to eat. After a few moments, my face paled as I realized what the only thing that could make them act like this.

I looked at Phoebe as she sat next to me. I caught her flicking her eyes across the room at Kieran. It was as if she was trying to tell me something. My lips parted in surprise and I felt as though I was going to be sick. I stood in a flash and hurried away from that deafening silence without a word.

Nobody looked up at me or tried to stop me. I didn’t even take my tray with me as I went. I just took off in the direction of the bathroom.

The stares and the whispers of all the kids around me as I went only made everything worse. I bursted into the room, not even checking to see if it was empty. I pushed the door of a stall open and fell to my knees in front of the toilet bowl.

I began retching, throwing up what little I had eaten just moments ago. Horrifying thoughts flooded into my head. They knew, they all knew. I started heaving again, nothing but bile coming out. Patrick knew. Oh God. My eyes stung and more acid came up. My throat felt like it was on fire.

I heard the door bang open, slamming against the wall. I clutched at the sides of the toilet, my head starting to ache.  I squeezed my eyes shut in agony.

“Get out!” Kieran yelled gruffly.

I heard scuffling of feet and then a few people exiting the bathroom. I was surprised when I realized that the sound of Kieran’s voice brought me some level of comfort. That ended up making me feel worse.

Kieran walked up behind me, quietly placing his hands on my shoulders. I flinched at the touch, surprised by it. Then I noticed that I was no longer being sick into the toilet. I was only kneeling there, breathing heavily and swimming in my own misery.

Kieran pulled me out of the way and reached over me to flush the toilet. I threw my head back, wincing as it slammed against the wall. Kieran frowned deeply at me. He reached for my arms to grab me and pull me up. I slapped at his hands, feeling upset by everything.

He looked at me sternly. “Caise, stop it!”

Kieran grabbed me again, managing to pull me to my feet despite me trying to fight him off. He dragged me over to the sinks and told me to stay. I hissed swear words at him but did as he said. He walked away to grab a bunch of paper towels. When he came back, he turned on the faucet and thrusted the pile of paper into my hands.

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