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IT TAKES A while before Thana registers that somebody is touching her and Finnick and Katniss both let go of her. A ringing echoing in her ears as she keeps her eyes shut. The screams of her loved ones burned into her brain, she could never forget the way they called out for her to help them, she would never forget the panic her body so easily welcomed. She feels weak, she feels unable to do anything good, she feels like a failure.
"Your fiancé is right, the whole country loves your sister," Johanna speaks up, still squatted down next to Thana in hopes of getting the girl back to the present. "If they tortured her or did anything to her. Forget the districts, there would be riots in the damn Capitol."
Katniss looks at Johanna in shock before the girl from 7 continuous, "hey, how does that sound, Snow!" the spins slightly at her feet as she looks up, still her arm around the girl from 9 that is rocking herself, "What if we, what if we set your backyard on fire?" she raises her axe, "you know you can't but everybody in here!" They all look at Johanna in shock, and even Thana's eyes rise from the ground to Johanna's body. "What?" she shrugs, letting go of Thana as she stands up, "he can't hurt me." She looks at Thana for a second before looking back at the others, "there is no one left I love."
There is no reaction, except a pointy look from Beetee. Johanna huffs, "I'll get you some water."
Beetee helps the girl from 9 get up, her quivering lips and trembling limps making her lean a little bit on the older man. Tears still stream down her face and her mind repeatedly reminds her how much of a failure she is, how weak she is, but most of all; how Johanna loves no one.
As they reach the beach, Thana drops herself a meter or so away from Katniss and Peeta. Her hands are still shaking, and she smiles kindly up at Johanna as she sits down next to her, handing her some water. Which is very welcome after she had nothing to drink so far.
"Who's Annie?" Katniss dares to ask the two, seeing how close together they sit.
"Annie Cresta," Johanna speaks up, letting Thana link their arms, "the girl Mags volunteered for." She looks at Katniss, "She won like four years, five years ago."
"Is she the one that went a little..." Katniss lets the rest of the sentence die.
"Mhm," Johanna hums, looking at the youngest victor, "love is weird." She lets her eyes wonder to her friend besides her.
"Love is beautiful," Thana speaks up, her thoughts swirling and locking in on Johanna, trying to forget how Johanna feels nothing of love for anyone. "Love is pain, love is perseverance, love is making someone feel comfortable or cared about. Love is strong, might seem weird at times, but without the truth and without love there would be no life."
...
Thana picks herself up, feeling suffocated by the stares of both Katniss and Peeta who silently accepted the girl into the alliance. Before her, Finnick is still sitting in the water, but she doesn't want to get wet, so she simply sits down a little away from where the water touches the sand. Dried-up tears decorate her cheeks, and she tries to hide them away as Johanna sits down next to her.
"Are you okay?" Johanna asks softly, her hand pushes away some strands of hair.
"I don't know," Thana looks at her friend as tears well up again. "I feel like a failure."
Johanna softly shakes her head, "is this about Latif?" she dares to ask.
Tears openly fall again as the girl starts to sob, "I was prepared," Thana mutters, "but it still hurt," she shakes her head, "it still hurts." She tries to take a deep breath, "it is my fault. First Peter and then Latif, and I..." she shakes her head again.
"Don't be so hard on yourself," Johanna moves to sit in front of the girl, making sure the light brown eyes in front of her keep their focus on her own brown eyes.
...
"They look close," Katniss manages to say to Peeta and Beetee, "have they always been?"
The older man smiles softly at the duo, "many victors make friendships with each other, with people close to their age or who won close to them. Look at Haymitch and Rohan for example." He shakes his head softly, "Johanna is very closed off, no one knows what exactly happened when she went to Thana's house after she just won. But we victors are sure that is where their friendship started. Somewhere in district 9."
"They got close fast then," Katniss hums, feeling a little disappointed that her social skills never got her that far.
"There is just something about Thana that draws you in." Beetee smiles kindly at the two youngsters. "I am sure you noticed that as well."
"Yeah," Peeta agrees, "so much you even forget she is a victor."
"Her kindness hides away the horror she's been through." Beetee says, looking at the two girls.
...
"I am sorry," Thana cries to Johanna, "you must think I am pathetic, crying here when you have lost Blight, Wiress is gone and not to forget: Finnick who lost Mags."
"We weren't alone," Johanna grasps Thana's shoulders, "we had others, we had to go on."
"I was so scared," Thana says, resting her head against Johanna's, "I still am."
"You are not alone anymore," Johanna smiles sadly at her friend, "we are her now, I am here now." Oh, if Johanna could, she would get up and kill everyone responsible for making her friend feel this way. "I care about you Thana."
"I care about you too, Johanna," Thana says, her breathing slowing down again, "I was so afraid I lost you when I heard your screams, and before that I was already terrified for you."
"You have no idea how happy I was to see you with Finnick and Katniss," Johanna smiles, "a weight dropped from my chest." She wipes away some tears on Thana's cheeks, "I am so grateful to be close to you again."
"Don't get too close," Thana whispers, looking in Johanna's eyes, their foreheads still touching, "I'll turn you into poetry." some sneaky thoughts point out to Thana how if one moves just slightly closer to the other, their lips will touch.
"And I'll happily let you," Johanna grins, "it would be my greatest honour to be a poem made by you." Her grin falters as she is reminded by her own words; there is no one left I love. What a lie that had been, just looking at Thana was a reminder to her how her heart will always search out the girl in the crowds, how her soul always wants to be near Thana's soul.
"I'll hold you to that," Thana hums contently, forgetting all about what happened before. All her thoughts about Johanna.
...
Nora speaking here! Just a soft filler chapter :) How I love writing Thana and Johanna, it makes me feel warm, but also very single.
Hope you all liked it, because I enjoyed writing it. Thana deserves the love after everything she went through and so does darling Johanna <3
