A Dragon Fate

Chapter 1: Free sities

I lazily flipped through pages of a history book, stopping at pictures of dragons. They fascinated me as i couldn't imagine. How huge they can be, how beautiful. I always knew what my mother was a bitch, but it was unforgivable to hide this from me.

I still remember the day then i asked her about this in first time. I remember suddenly tense shoulders. How she, who usually laughed it off in difficult situations, became serious. Pure anger somewhere deep in her eyes. In our common eyes.

The seven-year-old girl that I was then was frightened by this change. I forgot to think about these beautiful and scaring creatures. Until the day three years later, when I opened the same book that had lain under my bed and was able to read their name. Dragons.

And i wanted to know more. I was looking for dragons, spending all 'honors' that my mother gave me for books. I read about them all the time. And the more I inquired, the more interested I became. I read about the language of dragons, about their riders.

And when i saw my mother's name in some of my books, her year of birth and her life story. When i saw her mother's face, with a name like mine and a features like mine. Childish and naive part of me died at that moment.

I suddenly realized that everything is much more complicated than I thought.

The softest part of my heart still remembered as she said "we'll talk about it later when you become older". I grew up, and she considered it unnecessary to answer. Perhaps because Saera knew that I'm her daughter and I could find the answers myself.

And i did.

My 'brothers' were so much idiots. They had a brilliant opportunity to take some dragon, but they decided to gain power by claiming a heritage they didn't have. They were just unrecognized children of a woman who was abandoned by her family.

I grew up next to our mother, saw her every day, but I have no idea what even one of them looks like. I think they have white hair or purple eyes. It would be stupid if it wasn't, they wanted to take The Iron Throne.

I heard they came back in disgrace, but not that I remember it well. I was eleven. Actually, i don't give a fuck how their lives turned out. My half-brothers let me learn from their experience and thanks to this bastards for that. I didn't plan to repeat their mistakes from beginning, but it fenced off my rebellious fifteen-year-old nature from stupid thoughts.

"I apologize for late, princess" man who came up to my table said.

I'm sitting on a small veranda overlooking an empty little garden. It's a pretty upscale part of Volatis and the landlady's in my debt, so I don't have to worry much about my mother finding out about this meeting. I don't want this information to get to her before I want it.

"I prefer 'mistress', you know" i said.

Illario sat down at the table opposite me looking at book.

What can i tell about him? Our acquaintance was... Weird. But, after all, I paid Illario for information and now for help in escaping to another continent. I like how he do his work, but i'm not a princess and never was. It vexs when people try to impose complexes on me.

I abruptly closed the book, side of the cover with title down and raised eyebrows. He chuckled looking at me.

"All is ready, mistress"

The warmth of pleasure spread over my body. Saera gave it up for pleasure that a depraved life by this world's rules brought to her. And no matter how she tried to prove the opposite to everyone, she didn't want to beat men. She wanted to be man. And I want to be called a god who can fly.

Time to take a truly valuable inheritance.

-

I walked into the house what i has to call home. I examined the patterns on the three-meter walls. Greenery in the garden right behind him. I have spent countless hours here, sometimes playing and sometimes hiding and watching guests come in. And I will leave this place today, just after sunset.

Forever, if i know my mother. She rather die then forgive me for this betrayal. That the only one she cared about, would just leave without saying goodbye. I will write a letter,of course. To tell her to be mad at me and not at someone who could've kidnapped me.

I can tell her, but i don't think she let me go. So I'll just have dinner, pack the rest of my things and quietly leave. I went into a large hall where maids are setting the table.

I arrived a little early, so I just took a seat on the right side of my mother's seat, at the head of table. Yeah, she always loved the attention.

I heard the sound of shoes on the floor and moved my eyes in the direction of it. My mother looked amazing for a woman whose fifty coming soon. Like she's older than me only on ten years.

I am surprised how I can be her last child, because in the last fifteen years, when I could understand, she was not pregnant.

"Sanne" my mother greeted with smile.

I have no idea why she named me after her mother, while not being able to pronounce her name without excessive emotionality. Looks like a sudden burst of memories and stupidity didn't make me a whore. Thanks for it.

"Saera" i said.

She didn't want to her children call her 'mother'. I think it was made up for her sons, but i was too mad at her when i started it. So it's silly to change it now.

"How was today's lesson?" she asked sitting on her chair. Saera waved to the maids, driving them away and girls obediently left.

I cut the meat in my plate and scooped some grated beets on fork.

Which lesson, mom? You mean wrestling lessons that haven't been running for a month but my teacher doesn't talk about it because he loves money too much?

"Good, as always. How the brothel?" i answered.

"Good, as always" she said in same tone.

I chuckled and continued to eat. My mother also began to have dinner and i enjoyed the peace and quiet.

I don't know if she loves me and if I know how to love, but I like to just be with her in silence. My purpose's higher than such feelings, but i still want her to go with me. I will never propose it and she will never agree, but I want it. I want to keep that part of me in which was something bright. Like if i lose it i'll go mad.

The truth is what i don't want this life that I've clung to in recent years, not confident enough to run away. The truth is what i need hope. And she couldn't give it to me.

My mother suddenly folded her utensils, straightening her back and looking at me. "Sanne, i want to talk to you"

I froze. My mother very rarely became serious.

"I'm listening" i said.

She looked at me expressively, after which, as if gaining strength, she closed her eyes. I started to worry. What the hell is she going to discuss?

"We both know what you asked me about dragons, and we both know what you find the answers yourself. I just wanna say..." she stopped like her whole world had to turn over to say it. "Sorry for being a shitty mother and for ignoring the world which I didn't fit years ago."

All the thoughts in my head jumbled up and I just stared at her. I waited this apologize for years, but now... It didn't matter. I know that she was cruel and dismissive, but I can understand her. After all she is my mother.

"Do you know?" i whispered.

Please be confused. Please let me know that it was a momentary blur and that you will be the same as you always were. Please teach me a lesson never to go out of role.

"I know" she whispered back.