Nil: The Lost Brother

A Walk To Freedom

As the morning light slowly climbed up the walls of the living room through the curtains, Nil began to notice the ache in her eyes. She massaged her face as if trying to gather herself. She locked eyes with Yusuf, who was sitting at the table.

"Would you like some coffee?"

"That wouldn't be bad at all."

Nil went to the kitchen and turned on the kettle. She had prepared the cups but realized that the coffee had run out. "What a wonderful day," she murmured.

"Unfortunately, we've run out of coffee. We might find an open market on the main street at this hour. Would you like to walk with me?"

"That would be great, actually. I could say I can't feel my legs right now, and it wouldn't be an exaggeration."

As they left the apartment and started walking, Yusuf lightly nudged Nil with his elbow and whispered, "Did you see that?"

"Is someone following us?"

"There were guys in sunglasses inside a white car at the beginning of the street. They were wearing suits."

"Are you serious? Do agents have to wear suits and sunglasses?"

"What are you saying, Nil? I'm telling you they were watching us."

"Okay, okay. I'm trying to stay calm right now, so I'm acting foolishly. Let's continue as if nothing happened and see if they'll still follow us."

As they entered the open market through its door on the main street, Nil discreetly looked back. There was no one coming or going. When they bought the coffee and left, nobody was following them.

"Are you sure they were watching us? There's no one around."

That's what it seemed like to me. Let's go and see if they're still there."

When they entered the street, Nil wanted to take a quick glance at the car without arousing suspicion, but as soon as she turned her eyes, she saw two pairs of black sunglasses facing her from inside the car.

"Yes, they're still there. What should we do now? Shouldn't we go home?"

"If they were going to do something, they would have done it by now. It seems like they've been here all night. Maybe they're waiting for Mustafa, in case you come to him."

"You're right. Then let's go inside and think about what we should do with them."

Nil's hands were trembling as she tried to insert the key into the lock while attempting to maintain a calm demeanor. They rushed up the stairs and entered the apartment. In the silence of the house, Nil noticed that her heartbeats were racing. She quickly ran towards the window and looked through the curtains towards the beginning of the street. The vehicle and its occupants were still there, giving the impression that they had all the time in the world.

"At least we are sure Mustafa is alive now."

"What a statement! Of course, he's alive. Nothing will happen to him..."

"I apologize. I was just thinking out loud. And yes, we will find his friend, but these men are troublesome. They don't seem like they will let us move easily. We need to find a way to escape from them, but I can't think of any solution right now."

"These men are searching for Mustafa. That's why they kidnapped his loved ones, maybe to interrogate them. If they are following me, it means they will eventually come for me too. Since they are still waiting, they don't know what they can learn from me. So, I will go and talk to them directly, saying I will tell them whatever they want."

"Are you out of your mind, Nil?"

"No. I have nothing to tell them. Look, I have nothing in my hands except pages of conspiracy theories that are useless to us. They will realize there is nothing they can get from me. Hopefully, they will leave me alone afterwards."

"They haven't taken you yet because they know there is nothing to get from you. Otherwise, they would have taken you already. I advise you to reconsider your plan."

"I need to try my luck. If they contact me after I find something, the situation will become even more difficult."

Nil was terrified. This situation was something she had never experienced with agents before. She wondered how many people had found themselves in such a predicament. But this fear was an opportunity for her to prove her courage because courage was not about being fearless, but about confronting one's fears.

"And maybe..."

"You won't do what I think, right? You don't want to get yourself killed, do you?"

"Don't worry, I'm just going to try to gather a few shreds of information, but we need a plan for that."

"What's on your mind?"

"I'm thinking of using the classic technique of answering a question with a question to make them talk a bit."

"I don't think these men will fall for those tricks, but since you want to try..."

"Do we have any other option?"

She tried to visualize all possible conversations in her mind. Occasionally, she noticed herself holding her breath and tried to calm herself by thinking of Mustafa. Feeling a sense of guilt inwardly was the natural consequence of friendship. People always find a way to blame themselves and feel guilty for whatever happens to their friends or loved ones; that's how it should be. She wondered if we had felt even a fraction of this responsibility for all living beings, could we have experienced heaven on Earth. Clearing her mind from these thoughts, she walked towards the bathroom. As the water splashed on her face, she regained her energy and met her own gaze in the mirror. She was ready now.

She tried to suppress the feeling of weakness in her knees as she descended the stairs. This feeling would completely vanish when she opened the building's door. The gentle breeze that hit her face at the doorstep was like a whisper inviting her to freedom – freedom from fears, pressures, manipulations, and even the ego she had crafted as a garment for years, as if it was a divine hand pulling her out. With each step she took towards the other end of the street, she grew stronger and got to know herself a little better. As she gained strength, the intimidating men in the car seemed to weaken a little. The initial astonishment on the agents' faces gradually turned into a mild panic with each step she took, evident in their restless movements. This was an unexpected situation for them. The young woman they were tailing was approaching them with confident strides, causing the driver's hand to involuntarily move towards his weapon. The other agent, who exchanged a glance with him, conveyed a "What are you doing?" expression, leading the driver to retract his hand from the gun in an instant. Nil approached the driver's side and tapped the window three times. The man sitting in the driver's seat opened the window, staring expressionlessly at Nil's face.

"Should we talk here, or should we go somewhere else?"

Without saying a word, the man closed the window again and touched the headset of his radio, engaging in a brief conversation. The other agent got out of the car, opened the rear door, and gestured for Nil to enter. Without hesitation, Nil got into the car, and immediately after the door closed forcefully, the sound of the engine starting followed. The road from the schoolyard to the forest came to her mind; she felt very lonely.