Black Reaper Kaneki X Female reader oneshots

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A/N: ALL THESE JOKES ARE FROM THE INTERNET I FOUND ONLINE! ALSO, I GAINED INSPIRATION BY THIS TIKTOK INFLUENCER CALLED NIYEKO. CREDITS BE TO HIM AND TO THE INTERNET JOKE WEBSITES!

Kaneki was an airhead. There was no question about that. For someone so sophisticated, he struggled to catch onto simple things like jokes and innuendos. You could tell him the most shocking, spiciest pick up line known to mankind and he still wouldn't get it. Since you were bored and wanted your Teddy bear's attention, you decided to say some pick up lines to him.

"Ken Ken!" You called out loudly while opening the door to his room.

The young man was reading a book on his bed. He turned to face you and gently placed the book down on his bedside table.

"Hm? What is it, honey? What do you need?" Kaneki asked while patting the space next to him for you to sit on.

You happily went to sit next to him and wrapped your arms around his slim waist.

Let the rizz begin! ~

"What did you say your name was? I want to make sure I scream the right name tonight!" You replied with a smirk.

Silence filled the air as the dark-haired man tilted his head in confusion.

"Huh?" He muttered.

"You don't get it?" You questioned with widened eyes.

"You mean like cheering? You know, kind of like yay! Go Kaneki or something like that?" He asked while still having furrowed eyebrows.

"My love, no! Not in that sense at all!" You replied while doubling down in laughter.

"What else could it mean then?" He asked confused.

"You're such an airhead, love! I'll try another pickup line for you!" You responded.

Kaneki nodded to you for you to go on to the next joke.

"You seem like a good baker since you already preheated this oven!" You winked at him while giggling once more.

"But I haven't turned the oven on? I wasn't even planning on baking anything. What are you even talking about?" He raised an eyebrow at your words.

"Goodness me, you are so dense! I'll let you figure those two out yourself while I tell you my last pickup line!" You suggested while holding one of his hands.

"Alright!" He muttered to you.

"Ken, you must be a broom because you just swept me off my feet!" You exclaimed with another wink.

Kaneki ended up laughing at you while wrapping his arms around your waist.

"That was pretty good! Haha!" He chuckled out.

"Ah, yay! You finally understand one of my pickup lines!" You cheered out.

"Hold on, did you manage to figure out the answers to my other pickup lines?" You inquired.

"I need to think about it still!" He said while looking down at the floor wondering what the answer was.

"Oh my goodness, the first one is about screaming your name in bed and the second is about how you make me feel hot in a not so family friendly way!" You proclaimed with a huff.

"Ohh....." He realised while looking into your eyes.

"How do you feel about that, Ken?" You asked him softly.

Silence filled the room. Your eyebrows furrowed when he wasn't talking so you decided to call out for Kaneki.

"Ken, why aren't you....oof!" You couldn't utter out a word at this moment.

Kaneki pinned you down to the bed with a lusty facial expression.

"Let's see if I can change your mind about being airheaded, hmm!" Kaneki whispered into your ear.

Heat rose to your cheeks and small sighs slipped out of your mouth when Kaneki kissed and sucked on your collarbone.

Let's just say that you two had a very steamy, long afternoon! ~

A/N: Hello, my loves! It's been a while, hasn't it? I have returned with another oneshot for you all! I hope you guys enjoyed it and I shall see you all with the next one. Please be sure to take care of yourselves and let's bring smiles to the world! See you next chapter, my loves! ❤