My Red Head

I wanna be cared about.

Trigger warning: Talks of SA.

        My whole life, I put myself into situations where I would set myself up for failure. Especially in my relationships. That was just my thing, being bad at things. But I still always tried to do the best I could. When I got my first job, I worked my ass off even when I hated it. And when I ended up stumbling into bad guys and they took me to their secret base, I tried my hardest not to do anything they wanted me too, even after the torture and everything put into my body. Even though I was just a screw up I wanted to be good. 
        And now these people were helping me be something not just good, but great. Because now, I'm an avenger. I'm helping people! I'm doing something great, and I wouldn't replace it for anything. Especially having these great people around me all the time now too, Nat, Steve,Wanda, Bucky, Tony, and everyone else. They're helping me, training me, showing me how to use these powers I was cursed with for good.
          Except tonight, tonight was one of Tony's famous party nights. And I'm super excited, the other day Natasha, Wanda, and I went out shopping for new dresses. Tony's had so many parties that we we're all running out of dresses to wear. So we all ended up getting new outfits, Nat got a green, tight fitting dress, with a long slit down the left leg, Wanda got a jumpsuit that was silver and had silver sparkles all over the entire thing! And lastly, I got a black dress that was on the shorter side, and had some jewel detailing on the chest. I was so excited to show it off. Like I said earlier, I'm not good with relationships, but that doesn't mean I don't wanna find a good one.
        Soon enough I was ready and about to head down to the party headquarters. I just needed to find my purse, oh, there it is! Alright! Now it's time to head down. I pushed the down button on the elevator, even tho it was one floor, I'm not walking that in heels. I make it up to the next floor and before I can even make it into the ballroom I can hear the music blasting throughout the whole floor. I make my way in there and I don't think I've ever seen this many people here, I bet Tony is pumped.
        I make my way over to the bar and order just a coke for now, I'm not a big fan of alcohol anyway, let alone around this many people. I get my coke and just as I start to take a sip Steve comes up behind me.
        "Man I guess you're gonna have your first sip of alcohol the day that I start aging."
         "Who's to say it'll even happen then Stevie?" He laughed and we talked a little bit more before he made his way back over to the pool table with the other goofball's who thought they had any idea of how to play pool. Spoiler alert, one of them isn't even from this planet, and it did not go well.
         "Hey! Y/N! Why haven't you gotten on that dance floor to show off that nice dress yet? I can practically hear it calling your name!!"
        "I don't think you can hear anything over the sound of all those guys grinding on you Natasha!"
        "What'd you sa- , you know what just get your butt over here!" And so I listened to the lady and did. I danced for quite a bit, tried out the sprinkler, the disco, and obviously some of the less cool dance moves too. I went back over and took a sip of my drink that Stevie thankfully guarded. Sometimes I wouldn't know what to do without that man.
         I made my way back out to the dance floor since Natasha wanted me there so bad. I tried to even go back up by her but she didn't see me and couldn't help make the path for me to get through. I was stuck in-between a few people but I didn't mind and I hope they didn't either. I started dancing and the I suddenly felt hands grab my hips. At first my heart started to pound faster but I pushed them off in hopes that would be a good enough signal. But then a few seconds later his hands were back and on my butt.
        I turned around and looked this guy straight in the face. 'It, I-, there's no way, his face it looks just like, no, no, no, no, it's not him look it's not him! He looks so similar though, what if he, what if he takes me and- and does what he did too? What if, if he says that I'm lying again? He was too prestigious he could never do something like that and' My head just kept swimming deeper and deeper into thoughts, worrying, concerned, what if's, anything and then.                  -snap-             
        'oh shit, I'm at Tony's party.'
        I have got to get out of here I can't handle this. I started running out the door and took my room as quick as possible. My eyes quickly started burning until tears filled them up and started streaming down my face. I get to my room, I slam the door shut, and I have to get this dress off. It's awful, it's tight, it's too short, it feels gross and I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! I rip part of it due to the fact I was trying to get rid of it so quickly. I quickly throw on sweat pants and a sweat shirt. I need to be covered. I need to feel safe.
        Then, I head a soft knocking on my door. "Hey sweetie, it's Nat. I'm not too sure of what happened, but I do know that you ran out pretty quick and have a couple of us worried. Is it okay if I come in?"
        "I guess" I mumbled in a lower tone. I was still trying to get these stupid tears to stop, but I just couldn't.
        She walked in and saw the tears and makeup streaming down my face. She also stole a quick glance down at the partly ripped dress on the floor. She came onto the bed, got under the covers, and then scooted closer, and the just held me. She held me while I was in one of the most vulnerable states I've been in for awhile. She started to softly speak again. "I don't know what happened. If you don't want me to know what happened that's okay, but if you do, that's okay too, but don't feel pressured into any decision. It's your choice, it's your emotions, it's your life, it's up too you."
        I sniffled a bit, cried a few more tears, then decided that I should tell her. "Back when I was kidnapped by hydra they use to use me for experiments obviously, but also the main scientist that worked on me would sometimes take me into rooms, and, and he would, he would um, use me, to um pleasure himself. And then um, earlier when I was out, um dancing, a um guy was, he was grabbing my, my hips and when, when I turned around to tell him to stop, he looked just like, like the scientist and I, it was like I was back there all over again.
        She looked at me in a face that gave all the right words that she didn't know how to say at that moment. The concern, care, and worry was all shown in that one single look. As she gave me that look, she started to pull me back in closer towards her and back to the snuggle position we were in before. Of course I didn't mind, while physical affection in some forms is scary, it's also my stupid love language so I very much appreciated it. She looked at me one last time before I passed out.

        "That will never happen to you again darling, not on my watch."