I LOVE YOU 'IRE(POV SEASON 4)

18

y/n (Ireen's) POV

I don't know what to feel towards Nete
He's doing so much good stuff for me that I couldn't fathom why on Earth is he doing these things for me just because 'he loves me' just like what he's always been saying doesn't still convince me in any way
Maybe because I used to so much shit happening to me all my life that I couldn't recognise experiences like this as a good thing
I consistently feel like I don't deserve to feel good and be taken care like this

He's making me feel good about myself
Ugh, whatever, seriously
Why do I feel so weird..

Nete: Uh- I wanna say something

Nete suddenly said still holding my right hand as soon as we get in the elevator from the ground floor making me look up at him to listen

"Hmm, yeah?"

Nete: Would you mind eating dinner tonight at the seaside that we have booked last time? It's really good there.. the food, the scenery.. I wanna bring you there.. it reminds me of something..

I was surprised by how he's asking me to join him instead of demanding it like the last time
My eyes squint in suspicion

"Hmm? .. reminds you of what?"

His chuckle vibrates on his chest in a second looking down at our hands then up to me

Nete: Why .. *chuckle* .. I'll tell you when we get there and uh- I'll fetch you from the lab?

His hesitant voice was so eminent that it sounded kind of scared in my ears

"You can if you want more rumors asshole"

He laugh as I felt him rub his thumb against the back of my palm

Nete: What?! ..Rumors? What rumors?

"A lot, I'm sure you've heard it all"

I simply replied
I don't really care about them talking behind my back what I hate is being stared at it just fucking doesn't sit right with me

His laughed continued

Nete: *laughs* The rumors are totally beautiful.. like how you're married to me?

He teased which made me raise my eyebrows in disbelief

"I don't.. like being stared at by other... people"

Trauma is not a joke, while everybody can look at someone who has it and assume them as dramatic, its just not, when it happened to you, it just don't go away easily

His laughed dissipated immediately and holds my hand tight while I can feel his gaze on me as I stare blankly and seriously at the door of the elevator as it slowly elevates

Nete: I'm sorry.. I didn't know.. next time I'll be careful..

The guilt in his voice made my eyes blink in surprise
It was so sincere
It's strange how I somehow felt his sadness towards what I said
Ghadd what a wizardry
It's like I feel something on top of my current feeling and I don't understand so I just shrug it off my mind while I notice him grab his phone and type something on it

"It's fine"

He just softly groan while looking down making me felt a bit of guilt too, still rubbing my fingers slowly with his thumb

The elevator door opens for another two people, specifically students, they look like freshmen ,to hop on to as they greet us

"Goodmorning Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman"