Stained (N.R)

Chapter 38

We avoided the subject at all cost after that, dismounting Jupiter at the edge of a small town, trudging in to see if we could gather some supplies.

"So, where is the Red Room?" Ilya picked at the energy bars lining the shelf, eyeing Yelena from the corner of her vision. 

"No one knows. It's constantly changing. We are always shipped in and out whilst being tranquilised." Yelena answered calmly. "So even if he loses one of us, we won't be able to leak anything. 

"I can't believe that I haven't noticed. We haven't noticed." Ilya looked over at me. 

"I mean if you want to be hidden, you shouldn't attract the attention of the Avengers, right." Yelena waved her hand nonchalantly in the air. "I mean, it's literally in the name. Dreykov kills you, one of the big ones comes to avenge you."

"Wait, what are the big ones ?" Ilya furrowed her eyebrows. 

"Well I doubt that the gods from space will need an Iboprofin after a fight." Yelena stretched the corners of her mouth into a forced smile.  

I hid myself behind one of the food shelves, not wanting to be dragged into the sisterly arguments again. 

"Where did you think I was all this time?" Yelena asked after a moment of silence. 

"I thought you got out and started a normal life. I doubt that you want me to suddenly come in to ruin it."

"How would you know? You never even tried to contact me."

"I didn't think you would want to see me."

Yelena laughed humorously and swore. "You just don't want someone from the past to tag along when you are saving the world with the cool kids, especially not your baby sister."

"You are not actually my sister, you know that, right."

I winced, burying my head lower and pretended that I didn't exist.

Yelena stood still for a second, then scoffed. "The Avengers are not your real family either."

"I'm just trying to salvage what's left. I'm trying not to be the assassin that they made me. I'm trying to do good so that I can make up for the wrong things that I did." Natasha protested.

"Well, guess that's a bummer to you, because things don't work that way." Yelena paid for her armfull of food and drinks and swept outside. "Because you still are an assassin, just one that stars in the front of a magazine, trying to be the hero."

"Guys, I think we need to talk this out civilly." I sighed. 

"I don't see a reason for that." Yelena snapped. 

"I mean, none of us had it easy. We should be helping each other getting the things done, right? Killing my adopted father, freeing our brainwashed comrades, that kind of thing..."

"Honestly, Natalia, I have to say." Yelena ignored me, turning round. "I am jealous of you."

"Yelena...." I tried to stop her.

"You are the one who made Dreykov come up with this." Yelena took a red vial out of one of her many pockets, shaking it in front of Ilya. "But you have never experienced it yourself. The nervous system of your brain, the chemicals, all of them physically altered. You have no thoughts of your own, living in a haze, looking at yourself doing monstrous things that you have no control over. "

"I..."

"I killed the widow that freed me. She was from Melina's generation. She got out of all those missions safe and sound, and the executions after they become too old to be used. She died by the hands of the person she tried to save, voluntarily. So I give myself a mission, I will free all the widows for her, complete her wish. But beyond that, I don't know who I am. I don't know what I like, I don't know half of the emotions I feel. I don't even know if I really know you and Katya because I am not sure if the memories I have are actually mine, or if this is some sick dream that Dreykov somehow planted in my mind. But I have to try, do you understand? I am risking my life for something that might not even be real, I'm trusting someone who might never have appeared in my life at all, I am upset over something that might not have even happened. So leave all the morality crap out of this."

"I... ugh... I'll give you guys some room." 

Yelena waved me off, staring intently at the woman that affected her so much, the woman that made her believe that the memories in her mind are real.

Natalia pursed her lips, slowly approaching her sister, wrapping an arm around her. "Then I will tell you everything between us, between You and me and Melina and Alexi. And you can ask me again and again, every detail."

"But there is too much, and my mind's a mess. That widow who saved me, she said none of you are dead, not even Melina, but none of you came for me." Yelena sagged watching the sun slowly setting beneath the horizon of trees far away. "It's not important anyways, why would you care."

"It is important." Natalia argued, "and I just do. I care about you and our family in Ohio. I remember it all, the Christmas that we spent together, the school, the backyard that we had where papa built a little swing for us."

"So I can believe that you guys are real?" 

"Yes, you can believe we are real. And after this all settles, maybe we can go back to Ohio, with Melina and Alexi."

"How about Katya?"

"I don't think we can forget her." Natalia laughed. "Have I told you that we bought a house and a bit of land?"

"No, tell me about it."

"Well, we are still trying to make it cozy, and Katya wants to raise a lot of animals."

"I want a dog."

"Well, she wants one too, so we can get two, incase you guys fight over it."

"So we can all be together, after we kill Dreykov and free the widows?"

"Yes, that's the plan."

"Even though the Red Room is impossible to find, and Dreykov is impossible to kill?"

"I doubt it's impossible, we'll figure something out along the way." 

"You will be with me the whole way?"

"I'll attach you to my hip if I have to." 

Yelena laughed, a child like laugh filled with glee and happiness. "Then I trust you. I trust you and Katya. And we can go and live a new life with animals away from all the bad people."

"Yes." Natalia laughed too. "Let's do that."