(Silently Drowning Series - Book Three)
Alessia Fiorella Ferrari; going from unnoticed to far too noticed.
Having 6 brothers that were once too busy for you to 6 brothers that overreact over every last thing, that could be overwhelming for anyone.
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Alessia Ferrari
Sometimes I enjoy looking through love quotes on Pinterest and think about what my future will end up looking like which I think ultimately shows my growth over the years, there was once a time that I didn't see a future at all but that's not the point right now, the point is I like love quotes.
Quotes that I could read and envision the perfect life that I was meant to live, a life that will never be my own.
Much like that one Christy Ann Martine quote that says, 'I will love you as long as the sun burns in the sky, until the raging blue oceans become calm and run dry. I will love you until the end of time.'
I can't help but wonder if I would ever feel that way about another person, am I even capable of love? Then there's the other side of me that wonders if I am capable of being loved that one.
The kind of love that is almost debilitating. The kind of love that makes you feel a little less broken.
After all, who would love someone that has more scars than friends in a lifetime?
Could I be capable of being loved by someone like Ryland Carson?
Sweet and kind Ryland, someone far too sweet for the life I was born into, someone too sweet to stand against the mafia just for my hand, although that's not really my choice to make which is why I agreed to this date in the first place.
Although he's not even aware what he is getting into with me, I know that is a long conversation that is very much needed but for now it's just one date, it's not like he asked me to marry him or anything.
Who knows what the future holds but what I do know is someone like him deserves someone better than me.
Someone who is can shower him in the love he deserves without holding onto any doubt.... Someone that could give him a family...
There is the self-sabotage side of my brain that secretly hopes something goes terribly wrong and we don't need to have those conversations but then there's that selfish part of me that doesn't want to let go of him yet, no matter how much I act like he annoys me, no matter how much I pretend not to enjoy his company...
He's a breath of fresh air in contrast to the cold and borderline heartless men I am forced to be surrounded by on a a daily basis due to my fathers business.
For once, I just want to be selfish, even if its just for the night.
Am I in love with Ryland Carson?
No.
I haven't known him long enough to say I am in love with him.
Could I see myself falling in love with Ryland Carson?
Easily and completely... and that thought scares the living hell out of me... But I won't run from it, I've done enough running to last a lifetime.
I suppose the ball is in his court, if he wants me to stick around then I have to figure out how the hell I'm going to tell him about my past or my fathers business... both things he should know before making a final choice... If he chooses to walk away then I won't hold him back.
