What We Do In the Shadows: "The Fiendish Plot of (human) Laszlo and Nadja Cravensworth"...
Summary: Back in the regular but sort of AU universe of WWDITS, you thought the season was about Guillermo. It wasn't. (Well, in this AU anyhow.)
Part IV...
"You, a Vampire Hunter by ancestry, a descendant of the noble Abraham Van Helsing! For shame, Giz, for shame." Ghost Laszlo shakes head.
"You drain people dry and leave them...Well for me to clean up...And it's Guillermo." Guillermo frowns.
"No, I do not." ghost Laszlo archly, intensifying his bluish glow. "For as you can now see...Guillermo, sorry...I am the ghost of human Laszlo Cravensworth, back from ...The Other World."
Huhhh....Guillermo, appropriately startled, then calming...
"What Other World?"
"The Other World, you moron."
"You mean like, Heaven? Or what?"
"Well, not exactly Heaven, though that is the stop of final destination, God...You did hear that, right?...Being a truly merciful sort of guy. I've up to now, excepting when we got summoned last year, been hovering round vampiral Laszlo in another, not exactly exciting, though pleasant enough excepting the viewing of the horrors my counterpart has committed, dimension...The Other World. And by the way, I have brought friends. Someone who's anxious to meet you. And someone who literally died meeting you."
Uh-oh...Guillermo, nervous.
"Great-great-grandnephew...You little prick!" a blue-glow surrounded form of a hearty and manly figure in 19th century broadcloth coat, open linen shirt to waist, with long, wavy hair and...Stake in left hand.
"Oh, no..." Guillermo gasps. "Great-great..."
"Yes, yes..." the ghost of Van Helsing impatiently waves hand. "I am the ghost of Abraham Van Helsing, your ancestor...And I am...Disappointed in you, boy."
"And hi..." glowing ghost of young woman appears. "I'm Edith Parker, I live...Used to...Downtown. You lured me to the mansion for a job interview as a part-time cleaner and your friends killed me?"
"Oh...Yeah..." Guillermo nods, hesitantly. "How are..."
"Not bad, not bad." Edith notes, brushing back brown hair. "My family took it a bit hard when I disappeared, though my stepfather was kinda mean about it... 'If the bitch wants to run off with some guy...' Geesh...I never...And he was the one who tried to come on to me, truth be told. How've you been?"
"Oh..." Gulp... "Fine..."
"Liar." She shook head. "Your soul is dark and heavy with your evil deeds. All the worse for being done voluntarily."
"Young lady..." Van Helsing interrupts. "Not meaning to curb you, but that's my admonition which I told you and Mr. Cravensworth of and it is my relative."
"Sorry...Please..." Edith waves.
"Yes. Well, Guillermo de la Cruz, do you know why your miserable attempt to join the Darkness has failed to date, in part?" Van Helsing sternly eyes Guillermo. "It's not the gay thing, some of my best friends..." he notes.
"Great. I don't know. I've been trying to find out. And it is my..."
"Living Death...Forever. For you, and your blackened soul, laden with your crimes..."
"Edith, dear...Those are Dr. Van Helsing's admonitions..." ghost Laszlo notes.
"Sorry, sorry...I was an amateur actress before I was gruesomely murdered. The lines are just so neat and Victorian." Edith shrugs.
YOU ARE READING
What We Do etc: "The Fiendish Plot of (human) Laszlo and Nadja Cravensworth
FanfictionSummary: Back in the regular but sort of AU universe of WWDITS, you thought the season was about Guillermo. It wasn't. (Well, in this AU anyhow.)
