What We Do In the Shadows: "The Fiendish Plot of (human) Laszlo and Nadja Cravensworth"...
Summary: Back in the regular but sort of AU universe of WWDITS, you thought the season was about Guillermo. It wasn't. (Well, in this AU anyhow.)
Part XI...
Camera on Nadja and Guillermo in his cell...He at his laptop...
"I never knew how drab you were living..." Nadja looking round. "Didn't we pay you anything, I thought we did? Weren't you my...My counterpart's...Accountant at one point?"
Guillermo, slightest of smiles to camera...
"Well, Nandor threw me some valuables or cash once in a while when he had them. And I had my geriatric nursing scholarship from NYU..."
"You had a scholars ship? And went to University?" Nadja, involuntarily impressed.
"Yeah...I mean it was an online degree but..."
"You was nurse...?" grin. "I'd bet you was cute in nun's dress or whatever the hospital nuns wear now." giggling.
Wait...Geriatric nursing? Geriatric means...
"Lots of guys are nurses nowadays. And mine's a specialty field." Guillermo frowns.
"For caring for us old farts?! You got money to call us old, drooling, senile farts...?!" she glares.
"Yeah." Smile. "You were old. You couldn't function in the day world. You needed a lot of care with your food... You'd be shocked how many familiars use this route. And come on, it fits."
Especially given you all did drool, a lot.
"Fine..." she waves it off. "We old farts are so grateful, nurse." Sneer. "Well, I suppose it was clever..." shrug. "A lot of us...Them...Their familiars, you say?"
"Sure...It's not like you guys...Those guys...Worry much about how we manage to get by."
"I suppose." She sighs. "But if you have money...?" Looking round eloquently.
"It barely paid for my food and the bills here. Plus, every now and then Nandor's hypnosis or Colin's financial dodges with the city or someone got screwed up and someone sent us a tax or mortgage bill. It adds up."
"Hmmn...Whoa..." her eyes widened. "So, we owe money on this place?"
On this shithole? My English estate money?
"Not right now. Colin and Nandor got things worked out...."
Cut to shot of kneeling blonde real estate agent in pink suit nodding blankly to Nandor and Colin's orders...
"I will fake or have faked, the sales records, title, and use my own and my company's funds to clear the sale to the Cravensworth/Relentless/Robinson Group. I will bribe or seduce the necessary officials to make this happen. I will destroy any traces to the property, then forget the details, the property, why I did it. Even if I go to prison on any related charges of fraud, I will say nothing specific, just plead guilty..." she nods, dreamily.
"And you'll switch to grey suits, pink is not your color." Colin noted. "What Colin Robinson says..." Nandor intoned, cape spread wide.
Return to present...
"But there are still bills." Guillermo concludes. "Water, sewer, electric, gas, computer and cable TV...It isn't free, you know."
"Really? Water and sewer too? Couldn't you just go to a river?"
"No."
"Well, fine. Laszlo and I will reimburse you out of our estate...One more redemption duty, no doubt." She frowns.
YOU ARE READING
What We Do etc: "The Fiendish Plot of (human) Laszlo and Nadja Cravensworth
FanfictionSummary: Back in the regular but sort of AU universe of WWDITS, you thought the season was about Guillermo. It wasn't. (Well, in this AU anyhow.)
