The Fiendish Plot of (human) Laszlo and Nadja Cravensworth...Part V...

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What We Do In the Shadows: "The Fiendish Plot of (human) Laszlo and Nadja Cravensworth"...

Summary: Back in the regular but sort of AU universe of WWDITS, you thought the season was about Guillermo. It wasn't. (Well, in this AU anyhow.)

Part V...

"You...You're Dracula?" Guillermo stared at the elegant late-fifties-ish man in elegant overcoat smiling at him. "The guy from the books, movies, TV shows? But you're a doctor, now?"

"If you won't laugh, my boy..." smile. "It's Acura...Dr. Philippe Acura. My wife chose it, rather sporty, really." Acura smiled. "As for the fiction, mostly tales my worthless grandnephew and heir by default spewed to that Irish writer, claiming to be me, when he was hard up for cash...Though I do have to admit I rather like that Lugosi and Sir Christopher Lee's portrayals. And Frank Langella did capture some of my earnestness with the ladies. Don't mention that to my wife." Wagging finger, grin.

"And my great-whatever, ancestor was not your enemy but your friend?"

"When Abe found out I was truly seeking redemption, yes. Though fortunately the good Doctor has a brain in his head and made sure of my sincerity. Saved my wife as well." Beaming nod. "She'd've come but she had a raging headache...We're now rather but not quite mortal after our resurrection/my redemption and she actually still gets periods, PMS like I can't tell you." Shakes head. "But I'm here, at my dear Abraham's behest to see how I can help you out of this quagmire you've gone and got yourself into. As well as help our friends Laszlo and Nadja here."

"As for my current profession, a little tribute to your ancestor, my friend...But I am pleased to find I really have some skill as a heart surgeon."

"Really?" Guillermo blinks.

Dracula the heart surgeon...Has a certain logic to it.

"But I'm partly transformed." He sighed.

"Any part my counter played, truly sorry, bro." Derek noted, turning from his conversation/courting with Edith.

"No problem, it was my choice." Guillermo shrugged.

"And therein lies your problem, boy." The Ghost of Van Helsing frowned.

...

Human souled Nadja in crypt to cameras, leading them out...Sssh! Finger to lips...And shutting door carefully...

Loud squeeeaaakkk...

Followed by light squeak of coffin lid from inside...

"Darling? Anything wrong?!" from Laszlo's coffin inside crypt.

"Oh, nothing, my love! Just peeked out of my box a moment! Alls well, as you can tell by my sounding like I'm speaking through a wooden door!"

"Quite right! Good day, my darling!" Sound of lid closing.

"You too, sweetheart..." fond tone.

"He is so sweet, really...Of course it's his dear human nature seeping through..." eyeing cameras. "Imagine how wonderful he'll be when his soul is back...Oh, I really made a fine courtship choice, indeed! And, ok...It will not be too shabby to be addressed as 'Lady Nadja Cravensworth' of Wherever the estate is." Sheepish grin. "The first British-American-Antipaxosan 'lady of the county' in my family..."

"But I don't want him or my own counterpart to suffer. I do want them to find happiness...In Hell. Where demonic essences belong. While Laszlo and I fuck our brains out and maybe do some good here. We could use our powers...Oh, yes, it seems we keep some things...To help descendants of our victims, nice people, save the world from evil, that sort of crap."

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