August 2023
i don't know how to begin this letter.
i've tried for months not to think about you, but... i went back on instagram and you were there. i read again this story and you were there, and mostly, i closed my eyes, tried to sleep, and in the depths of somnolence, i met you again.so many months later, six exactly, you're back in my headspace
in a few days (or maybe was it a few days ago ?), it's gonna be your birthday, and my phone is going to remind me i hoped we would be togetheri hadn't thought of you for six months. i promise i forget your existence, except maybe when i went on insta because you kept on posting often some stories, but that was just for a few minuts, then you were back on the intensity of my denial
same when I'm going through my photo gallery and see you
you'll soon be back in my memory
two months after i forget you, i started feeling some kind of crush for one of my best school friends. we were lying, ahead the school after the blockade to support the strikes there was at that time.
they were in my back, and i started playing with their hands.
something i hope i'd have done with you.
but i dreamt of you this night
in this dream, i was in a station, waiting for a train with my brother. it was bright, intensely bright, like in Harry Potter when he meets Dumbledore after is own death, but this time, it was more... warm.
there was this kind of box with this bright and this warmth.
a train passed
one breath
two breaths
the train left
you appeared
you walked a few steps to be closer to me
we looked at the other, my gaze in the pale blue grey of your eyes
we hugged
it lasted for a while
you said ' i'm leaving, i'm going back to Ukraine'
i heard 'i'm leaving, letting your heart tranquil now'
you asked for kissing
on the lips ?
i thought of my partner
i refused
it seems like you understood
i said
"merci "
we left
i know that wasn't real
i know what is real
i'm healing
i don't know if i will ever feel love as the love i felt for you
you've always been, and maybe you'll always be the only one
you'll always be my first love
i don't really know if i will ever totally forget you
i don't know if i want to
thank you for the memories
thank you for the epilogue
i guess i still love you, but not as i was used to
H
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YOU ARE READING
heal my [broken] heart
Non-Fictionepistolary non fiction novella about someone who lost their heart in a blue-grey gaze ***ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪꜱ ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ~~ꜱʏᴍʟ~~*** was poetical at first and supposed to stay poetical but the last one is a scream This is not a love story.