It all started with Joy.

Chapter 13: The "plus one" hesitation.

Lily.

"So, you're seeing Sam tonight."

"Yep," I reply leaning against the bathroom wall as I sit on the floor with my niece lying on my legs. She has been more awake lately, and she has been throwing little punches in the air for the past ten minutes making me giggle. She looks like the tiniest, most adorable boxer, and I can't help but snap a video and about hundreds of photos while fighting how broody I am feeling all of a sudden.

"You sound ecstatic." I roll my eyes at Millie's sarcasm even though, sometimes, I can be the female version of Chandler Bing myself. She walks past me in her bathrobe, and she enters her bedroom, disappearing in the closet. "Do you actually want to see him?"

I quickly raise my eyebrows and tilt my head to the side as millions of answers flood my head. Yes. No. Maybe. I sigh, "he's really sweet, Mill; he's kind, he's understanding, he's gorgeous, he wants the same things I want. Isn't this what love is supposed to look like?"

She throws her head back so she can look at me. "No," she simply says, and I am taken aback by her candid answer, but she doesn't let me butt in, "these are all qualities you want in a man, fair enough. But you are also compromising on love. This seems like a business transaction, babe. He's giving you a service, you know like marriage material, great father, safe future, and you are providing yours. Love shouldn't be a transaction."

"What kind of services am I providing?"

"You are amazing, and you have a great career; you would make the most beautiful spouse and the most caring partner and mother. Sam would never have to worry about you. Lily, you are the whole package, and he knows; he is not a fool."

"This isn't true, Millie. I do like Sam."

She scoffs, "Lily, I was there the other night. You were using him to make my brother furious! You were grinding on Sam while tearing Jesse's clothes off with your eyes. Don't lie to me."

"I am not lying. Please, stop saying that I am."

"But you are."

"But I am not," I raise my voice and Joy jumps up, startled. I pick her up, and I rock her in my arms feeling extremely guilty for having scared her, but her mother is pushing all my buttons.

"Why don't you want me to be happy, too?"

Her jaw hits the floor at my words, and I can see the hurt in her eyes, "Lily, I am doing this because I want you to be happy."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"Lilith, you are my best friend, and as your best friend, my job is to tell you the truth, whether you like it or not. I am sorry you are getting upset, but I am stating facts; this is what everybody can see."

I cut her off, now pissed at what she is insinuating, "not everybody wants what you and Nick have, you know? I am happy with how things are progressing. Why can't you just be happy for me? I like him, and it is not a business transaction. End of the story."

She appears from her bedroom in a bra and a pair of shorts, a frown plastered on her face as she fixes her eyes into mine. "I have told you a million times, I love you and I will always be here for you, but I will always tell you shit, even if it hurts your feelings because if I don't do it, then who will? I want you to be happy, Lilith, and I know this is not what you want. You want a love story, you want passion and romance, you want forbidden kisses and midnight secret meetings. You deserve an epic love; please, don't give it up because you're scared. I understand that Sam feels like a safe choice, and you think you would be happy but trust me, you wouldn't. You would be yearning for those stolen touches and fleeting glances, and it isn't fair to you, to Jay, and to Sam, too. Give yourself a chance to really love, Lily."