THE SAPPHIC TALES

Blind loved

Was it too soon to admit that I was brokenhearted?

I never even got the opportunity to openly claim her as mine, and now I was being stood up.

I was supposed to be home.

I had called her too many times. It was obvious she wasn't going to show up.

I pressed call again, as if that wasn't what I had been doing for the past two hours. Why was it so hard to give up? My mother would've been worried about me by now, but she was at work. Maybe Phoebe was with her. Maybe I should call Mama instead and ask–

"Averista?"

I turned at the sound of the familiar voice.

Phoebe.

I got up from the bench and threw my arms around her. She immediately hugged me back. She dropped her cane and her hands circled my waist as she rested her head on the crook of my neck.

I didn't know how long we stood there, but it was long enough for me to feel something cold seep into me. I let go, finally taking in how drenched she was. And the coldness was actually her clothes wetting mine. Did it rain somewhere?

"Babe, what happened?" I moved the wet strands of hair out of her face, skimming her up and down. Her face was a blur of colours; ruined up eye shadow, mascara running down her eyes, and lipstick smudged across her lips.

The only thing that wasn't a mess was the knee-length brown coat she was wearing over her pink minidress.

"What are you doing out here all alone?" She asked, as if that's what mattered most at the moment.

"I–I couldn't leave. I guess I was trying to get over the fact that you hadn't showed up like you agreed to?"

We weren't hugging anymore, but she was standing close to me. Closer than she ever had before.

"I'm sorry I stood you up," her hands moved to reach out to me but she quickly pulled them back. "I didn't mean to. I was just–"

"Hey it's okay," I assured, wishing I could hold her hand but unsure if she would let me. "You don't have to explain anything if you don't want to."

Phoebe proceeded to take a sit on the bench, and I sat down too, keeping the same distance she kept the first time we were there.

I felt awful for whatever that was hurting her. I picked up her cane and handed it back to her.

Tears ran down her eyes and it took all that was in me not to pull her into another hug. She was silently crying, and I wasn't sure what to do. I wasn't going to get physical unless she really asked it from me. Like I agreed with myself from the beginning, I was going to move at her pace.

"It's okay," I tried to comfort her as I watched the statues of frozen ducks by the pool. "You'll be okay, Phoebe."

Maybe my presence was all she needed.

                                    * * *

"How are you feeling right now?" I asked Phoebe as I sat down next to her on the couch.

She was too busy turning her head around, trying to make sense of my little excuse of a living room.

Yes, I had brought her to the trailer.

I helped her wash her face off, boiled her some tea, given her a change of clothes, and hung hers outside to dry.

"Better," she sipped on her mug. It was Mama's favourite mug. A mid-sized blue one.