Cursed and Lonely: The Stop

Chapter 3: Fear

The sun was still shining on the same objects, the same places, the same people. The birds still didn't flap their wings. The angry still didn't shout. The sad still didn't cry. The terrified didn't scream, neither did they run.

Weeks could have passed or even months, time was still at a standstill. No one would ever know, no one would ever notice. If it wasn't for him. He was no one special. He was just human like every one of them. But in his eyes that was not the case. In his eyes he was the chosen one. The one who would save humanity. The one who would save them all. He didn't always have the determination, he didn't always have the motivation or will.

There were moments where he didn't want to do anything at all. Moments where he had given up on it. Moments where he wanted to end it all. It was because he was human just like them. He was scared, he was unsure. The more he thought about it the more fear creeped up on him. The thought that people might laugh at his story came up in his head frequently.

He was scared of everyone. He started to remember the bad of his past. He remembered the time where he was bullied. There was a lot of hardship throughout his young years. The hate he had felt.

He started to question if humanity really deserved to be here. Humanity wasn't good, humanity was evil. He was still in the heart of his city. There was a fountain, he could only imagine the sound that it would make but it was silent. There were couples making out on the plaza. They didn't move, they didn't speak. No kisses were heard. No giggling was heard. It was all just pure silence. A silence that would only be broken when he drank water. He didn't drink anything else. He couldn't hear anything else. It was a soothing sound for him. He never really paid attention to the gulping sound when everything was normal. Now it was the only sound he could hear, it was soothing and special.

He sat down and drank a bit of water. While he listened to the soothing sound of him drinking he looked around. He saw no movement. He heard no sound, except for his own gulping. There were a few cars on the street that was next to the plaza. It didn't seem like an accident was about to happen. It felt like the cars could start moving again any moment. There were a few bikers, they didn't fall down. Why did they not fall down? He knew that he had known the answer to that question. But he had already forgotten. He did not care either, it was not important anymore.

There were people eating sandwiches, pizzas, crisps and so on. But none of it was healthy. Do people who don't care about their health deserve to live? Do they deserve this life of freedom? This life full of love and romance? This life full of warmth? People who didn't value their own health should not deserve this life.

He started losing it. He started fearing it. The voice in his head. The voice that said that they did not deserve it. A voice that kept on repeating the same questions. It felt like there were multiple voices. Voices that would be able to take over him. Voices that would be able to corrupt his mind. He tried to hold it back. He drank some more. The sound did not sooth him anymore. The sound did not help him anymore.

He was scared that he might lose his mind. He was scared that he would do something to the people on the streets. Scared that he would make a mess of everything. Just like the mess that he had made in the library. Just like the mess he had made in his house. He started walking back to the library. He wanted to be surrounded by books again. He needed some kind of book that would entertain him. A book that would kill the voice in his head. A book so good that he would never be scared ever again.

He needed a book full with comedy and mystery. A book that would reset his mind. A book about love and drama. He just needed a good book in his hands.

The library was still a mess. There were books lying everywhere. There were fruit rests and plastic bottles. It didn't smell, neither did it rot. He didn't have the motivation to clean all of that. He passed through every hallway in search for a good book. He felt too weak to lift up his head to look for something above him. He had been sitting for way too long. All of his muscles were stiff.