MIDNIGHT RAIN. seo yul

oo. found her answer

ᅳ    𝗂  𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅  𝗌𝖾𝖾  𝗒𝗈𝗎  𝗂𝗇  𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒  𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗌𝖾𝗍 💭
𝗺𝗶𝗱𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻. 𝗌𝖾𝗈 𝗒𝘶𝗅

YEONGRAN managed to finish her first class of the day and was exhausted by the end of it. She enjoyed teaching the young disciples as they were all so eager to learn something new and that also from Yeongran, so they were all giving their full concentration.

She barely slept last night after the interaction with Seo Yul. Everytime she comes across with him or have an interaction, all the years of meditation and trying to conceal her feelings just couldn't be controlled. He just makes her restless, excited, sad and butterflies.

If this keeps on going, she couldn't cover herself anymore. Her emotions are controlling her more.

"Don't go. Stay here with me"

The certain sentence, the face, the eyes. She could remember everything, she remembered how her breath skipped and her cheeks heating up and the voice which had sincerity.

"Shin Yeongran, get hold of yourself. Don't be swayed"

She muttered to herself and made her way towards Park Jin's house who was out at the small cottage with a baby crib beside him as he rock the crib slowly.

"Master Park"

Park Jin saw the young lady walking up to him and he smiled lovingly at her "Yeongran-ah.. come"

Yeongran noticed that it was the twins sleeping inside the crib holding each other as if someone will separate them.
Park Jin poured the flower tea he brewed earlier and offered the young lady.

"How was your day Ahran?"

Yeongran would be lying if she said that she didn't miss the nickname. She got the nickname Ahran from Park Jin when she was 3 years old and met him for the first time when he came to train her as a mage.

Out of all the teachers, only Park Jin was the one who showed her fatherly love and cared for her. Teached her the etiquettes of life, the principles of life and he was just like her own father.

Yeongran missed Park Jin more than her own family, her own biological father who only had the title of "biological father" but never fulfilled the role.

Yeongran took a sip of the tea and let out a satisfied smile with the taste of the tea "It was good Master Park, and the tea taste good. I missed your flower tea"

Park Jin just laughed and the two talked about some subjects related to the current affairs and politics going in inside the country.

Soon it was evening when Yeongran came back from Park Jin. She was offered to stay back for dinner but she refused as she didn't want to disturb the couples time alone.

Meanwhile at the heart of the bustling city, Seo Yul sat down in front of variety of dishes with Jang Uk and Park Danggu as they decided to have dinner together.

The three old friends cut some jokes as they filled each others plate from time to time and talk about some matters of the country.

Danggu took a sip of the wine and his eyes traced on Seo Yul's lef hand where a small jade ring was on the fourth finger. The jade looked precious and looks like it took many hours and days to finish the carving on the jade.

"Yul-ah... since when did you start wearing your ring? It somehow reminds me that you are married to Lady Shin"

All eyes fell on Seo Yul's finger while Jang Uk look at his close friend who had his calm expression but his instincts told him that he was going through some emotional issues.

Jang Uk knew that his close friend used to fancy Naksu back when they were kid and when he knew that it was Naksu in Mudeok's body, he still protected her — going against his own principles. He took care of her whenever Uk wasn't there and tried his best for her.

Jang Uk saw how Seo Yul chose friendship over love. Sometimes he forgot that Seo Yul was already a married man but he was never ready to accept the marriage and called it a marriage he was forced to.

He never had a small affection for Yeongran as he just saw her as his "fiancé" for name-sake. Even though they were made to married each other, Seo Yul never accepted the marriage because his heart belonged to someone else — not Yeongran.

Uk also knows how much Yeongran admired and loved Yul. The way she'd wait for his return from the academy until midnight quietly, preparing him dinner, taking care of him when he was sick but she didn't expose herself. She'd hide behind the curtain whenever he passes by, talks about his dreamy looks to Jang Uk whenever they meet and yet never talks about his cold — distant attitude towards her. Yeongran saw everything in a positive direction because she knows that it won't work out but still she had hope.

It went on for two years and still , Yeongran found no place in his heart and she was tired. Physically and mentally exhausted.

Jang Uk still remembered the conversation the two had which he accidentally eavesdropped.

[ THREE YEARS AGO ]

Shin Yeongran had a white robe which was stained by blood which dripped from her hand which she mistakenly opened up the wounds "Shin Yeongran.. take care of yourself will you?"

Yeongran just took the clean cloth beside her bed and wrapped it around her wrists without even looking at the guy in front of her.

"Seo Yul.. how long do you expect me to behave like this? I am not a doll who doesn't know what emotions are"

Seo Yul was baffled when he heard what she said but he was full of questions and just look at the pale face of the young girl in front of him

"I know you don't accept this marriage and I am fine with it, if you like her then I am okay with it. But did you have the slightest idea of what I must be going through? You are a man so getting new wife or another one is okay but me ? You don't stay inside the house so you never witness the sneers I get from the maids around. The people talking about our failed marriage and making fun of me saying that if it was them they'd leave you and live a separate life"

She paused for a moment and took a deep breath as if she was trying to control her tears "I could have done those but you know what held me back? It was the little smiles you gave me even though you probably didn't mean it, the small affection you showed was what it kept me through the years"

She slowly stood up and looked at Seo Yul, her eyes were red and filled with tears but she was holding them back

"Seo Yul.. did you even love me ? or had the slightest affection for me?"

Seo Yul hesitated.

In his hesitation, she found her answer.

That midnight Yeongran left Daeho and travelled far away from everyone and secluded herself —— to heal her soul and her emotions.