In The Grave But Still Alive

Dazed

I was sorta in a daze and I heard what Chris has just said to me but it never fully clicked in my head. I'm honestly so fucking high right now. I felt these strong arms wrap around my body bringing me out of my own head. "Oh how I've fucking missed you lady bug!!" Just said as he picked me up and spun me around I could feel the dirty looks I was getting from the other six eyes in the room. I slightly squealed and threw my head back I lifted one leg and bent it back as I quickly cling onto him as I never thought I'd see him again.

"I am star struck right now!" I say to him as he gently puts me back on the ground. I looked between Justin and the rest of the boys as I reach for Chris's hand just as he pulls it away from me. I know the words lady bug stung him. "So how do you know him? And why didn't we know about it?" he questioned as he looked between me and Justin. I signed and went to sit down. "Uhm well... uh I. Okay. So like before I moved to where I live now" I paused and looked at Justin with daggers as a way to keep quite. "I used to live next to Justin and being two goths in quite a normal neighborhood we sorta clicked. The way I click with all of you." It was silent for a minute and I could feel the heaviness in the air. Kinda feels like I'm choking. I began to lower my head and pick at my hands.

"Look, I get it's a bit strange. If I were you all letting the new guy in and he knows your woman. I met Mo in a different time it's been a couple years since we saw each other." By this time he's got all their attention. "I call Mo lady bug because she always had a fascination with this creek behind our house and I swear she attracted like thousands of lady bugs. It sorta stuck." Justin finished his speech and I could hear Ryan chuckle as he nodded his head. "That sounds like Mo to be honest. Look man I'm happy to have you hear and I speak for Ricky and Chris too when I say that." I heard Chris agree with him and when they all got over the fact that I knew Justin it was back to all business. I quietly excused myself and left out the back door.

After exiting the studio I took a seat of the porch couch outside that was under the awning. I pulled my knees to my chest and dug around in my bag. I found the link baggie and dipped my acrylic nail in and snorted the bump off my nail before pulling out my pre rolled blunt. I sparked it and sat there puffing. I got up to pull the door open and place a rock in the door so I could hear them rehearse. I couldn't be in there at this moment but I still wanted to be somewhat supportive. I sat myself back down on the couch and listened trying to get out of my head. Which is nearly impossible somehow Chris's words just echo through my whole body and rattle inside my brain.

A couple of songs later they seemed to quite down and I could hear the hushed voices of the boys talking amongst each other. I could faintly hear Chris speaking "I kinda love her, she's different and hides a lot but guys when she kissed me earlier.. I felt it.  It was like everything in the world stood still and was just left with passion." I got to admit I did feel the same, quietly I inches closer to the door while I smoked trying not to let it inside the building. "She's got a knack for kissing I tell you that but, are you sure you want to go down that road with her?" Ricky spoke up after Chris finished talking. I'm not sure if I want to stick around for this. I quickly grabbed my things and removed the rock. I plugged my headphones in and decided to take the hour long walk back to where I stay.