In The Grave But Still Alive

Confusion

{ Chris's POV }
We pulled up to Ricky's and all climbed out the car and headed up the stairs, the car ride was filled with small talk everyone trying to occupy this minds from Mo. She's is life. And it seems so dull without her. I'm so used to her being there and grabbing my hand or being cheeky towards all of us. I shook my head and let out a staggering breath.

Once inside we kicked our shoes off and turned the flat screen tv on to find s good episode of cops. Halfway through I felt this presence.. it was hard to describe. But I felt someone was here and my heart got heavy. I excused myself to take a breather outside. As I step out the door my breath got caught in my throat as I saw her. Mo's small frame crouched down on the curb with smoke coming over her head. I smiled to myself and walked down the steps to her. Reaching her I placed my hand out on her shoulder. She flinched which caused confusion to me as why she would do that. She never did. She was an all or nothing person. If she had a problem she faced you head on with horns. She slowly looked up to me and our eyes met. I held a firm yet soft look at her as her eye was completely black and blue. She erupted into tears. I quickly bent down and engulfed her tightly into my arms. "Shhh Mo it's okay I'm here now. I'm here. I won't let you go I promise."

As I held her in my arms, I felt complete. Everything bad in life seemed to wash away. I let go of her lightly, and begun to speak softly to her "we need to get you inside darlin.. let me make you coffee, and I'm sure Ricky will let you have his lucky blanket. Come on" with that she stood with me and walked inside my arm. Once we reached the top of the stairs I took her hand in mine and kissed it gently but passionately. I opened the front door and all guys heads turned towards us. You could hear the different gasps a few hands covered mouths as it was truly a sight. Trying to make the mood a little lighter I then said "and look what I found I outside" the guys stood up and Ricky walked closer to her "Are you alright Mo?" He looked at her sincerely and she just shook her head and squeaked out a little sentence "I-I would like to lay down please..." Ricky then nodded and looked up at me before taking her hand and walking her out of my arms. I'm gonna be honest that hurt it made my heart break, I wanted her in my arms i know Ricky means no harm but I sorta want to be the one to comfort her..

{ Mo's POV }
I walked with Ricky up the stairs towards his guest bedroom, wincing with every step. My breath being jaded every time. I was able to take a full breath it hurt to bad to do so. Once we made it into the room I just left my gaze at the floor too embarrassed to make eye contact. I could hear him clear his throat, I took that as a message to look at him so I did. His eyes met mine and there was sincerity and pain throughout, and mine felt dull and lifeless. "Do you have any pajamas with you?" He said softly to me as he reached his hand out to my arm and held it before slipping my tote bag off my shoulder. I quickly shook my head and he responded "go ahead and strip out of those clothes and I will be back with a shirt and some boxers for you okay hun?" He smiled towards me and I couldn't help but smile a little to him and began doing as he said. I slipped my bike shorts off and began taking my shirt off  wincing in pain as I held my breath as a deterrent not to scream. As I dropped them on the floor I looked at myself in the mirror and bit my lip. My entire stomach and sides were covered in bruises, I heard the door open again and saw rocky come into the room but soon after he stopped in his tracks and I could see water start to brim his eyes. I look at him with wide doe eyes and I could muster up anything to say. He slowly handed me the shirt and boxers, I didn't attempt to put them on I just hugged them to my chest. Ricky walked closer to me and guided me to sit on the bed, he grabbed my hand "Mo honey, what happened?" His eyes never leaving mine, just searching for something familiar in mine. "I-I uhm.. well I tripped and fell down my brick staircase outside and uhm-I-I fell and when I got to the ground I-I uhm my face  hit the garden light in the years..." I could lie to him I can't lie to any of them if I look at them so as I spoke my lies I looked at our hands. "I understand. I'm gonna go get you some water okay?" He spoke like he knew I was lying but at this point I didn't care. I just sat there like a statue. My head just screaming at me that I'm pathetic, I'm lonely and will always and forever be alone. I'm unwanted.. my thoughts consuming me, I'm just so confused.

{ Chris's POV }

I sat on the kitchen bar stool. In deep thought of what is possibly going on in that room. My hands fisted into a ball and my knuckles white. I wanted to protect her. I should have been there for her so this didn't happen. The next thing I know I see Ricky come into the kitchen looking petrified. He leaned against the counter top and looked in my direction. "Bring her a class of water. I know mo well enough to know when she's lying and she's lying about what happened to her. I told her I'd bring her some water.. Dude.. it's fucking bad." Ricky told me matter of fact. I nodded my head and stood up and went to grab a class out of the cabinet and filled it with ice water. I took a deep breath and made my way up the stairs. Once I reached the guest door I lightly knocked before entering. She didn't look up from her lap. The shirt laid across her lap and you could see purple and blue covering her entire stomach. "I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment.." she mumbled under her breath and it tore me apart that she would even think something like that. I walked towards her and set the glass on the table and sat beside her.