In The Grave But Still Alive

Caught

{CHRIS'S POV}

I watched as Ricky followed Mo up the stairs and heard shuffling and doors shutting. I couldn't help but feel my face tighten and my jaw lock. I sat like that for a minute before speaking up my breath "Are you fucking kidding me?!" I guess I said it a little louder than I thought as I soon had the guys looking at me with weird looks. "What?!" I spat at them as I balled my hand into a fist. "Chris is this about Mo?" Vinny asked nonchalantly as if Al my mood swings are about her. "Yes it is actually." I said through gritted teeth. I soon felt a hand on my shoulder and it belonged to Ryan. He soon spoke calmly as if not to upset me more. "Look man, Ricky is probably just checking on her. She's had quite a day and I mean you know nothings like happening up there. She's like loud ya know?" He said trying to be reasonable with me. "What do you mean she's loud? Have you fucked her?" I asked almost chocking on my tongue. I watched as he bit his lip hesitant to speak "well like okay we fool around just to like feel wanted by someone but I'm not going to openly say I fuck mo." He said and I looked at him in disbelief even more enraged now than I was earlier. "What the fuck? All she does is kiss me and you're telling me she has had sex with you?" Before I could get Ryan to respond to me I heard Justin speak up "man. I know I haven't known you all the best right now but as someone who has known Mo for many years... she expresses herself differently. I'm sure you all know that by now. But with Mo. it's difficult to differentiate between her having a crush on you and just being overly flirtatious... sometimes she may take it to far and blow you or something but I promise it isn't meant to upset anyone or make someone uncomfortable or jealous. She's just being affectionate. It's like giving someone a hug because they're sad it's just a different type of hug ya know?" Someone how listening to him talk about mo from experience made me feel a little bit better and I could definitely feel like I should get to the studio and put this into lyrics.i nodded and tried changing the subject and I mean as soon as we did Mo came bouncing down the stairs and flinging herself into my lap. I was caught a little off guard as she seemed like she wanted nothing to do with me today for how I over reacted to her being abused by her father and Ryan knowing of all people. I sighed and held her close to me and saw it of the corner of my eye she had her feet messing with Justin's hair as he sat on the ground infront of the couch. She rested her head on my shoulder. "Are we gonna watch another movie before we call it a night?" She said sweetly but also quickly. Justin chuckled in response to her and put in killer klowns from outer space. "OH MY GOD MY FAVORITE I KNEW YOU WERE MY FRIEND!" She Screamed as she she what movie Justin picked. The living room erupted in laughs and right before it began Ricky made himself comfortable in the recliner. The only light illuminating the living room was coming off his flat screen tv I swore I saw Ricky adjust his pants like he was trying to conceal a boner.... I shook my head trying not to think of that with Mo curled up in my lap slowly drifting to sleep.

As the movie came to an end I cleared my throat "Where should I put her? Is she staying on the couch or the guest bed?" I asked aloud as I had no clue she usually doesn't really sleep over when she hangs with us she always dashes out at some odd hour. Ricky looked up from his phone "she's gonna stay in my room if you want to go put her in my bed" he said this so nonchalantly it. I decided to drop it. "Alright well I'm gonna go put her in bed then." I say as I stand up holding Mo bridal style making my way up the stairs. I pushed Ricky's door open with my foot before making my way in and placing her down gently. I moved his covers back and pulled them up over her. I leaned down and kissed her forehead softly whispering to her "Good night Mo... sweet dreams darling." And with that I made my way back down the stairs into the living room with the rest of the guys. "Yo who wants the guest room, couch or pallet on the floor or recliner? So I can get blankets for y'all?" Ricky spoke once I made my presence in the room. "Uhm I'll take the recliner I'm cool with that" Justin said as he went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. "The couch is fine with me honestly, it's fucking comfortable" Ryan laughed. "OOOOO ILL TAKE THE PALLET IT WILL BE LIKE CAMPING!" Vinny yelled and we all quickly shushed him as Mo was sleeping up stairs and we all wanted her to get some good rest "You dork! Mos asleep upstairs, on another note I guess that leaves me in the guest room so I'm good on pillows and such." Ricky nodded and left down the hall the retrieve pillows and blankets for the goons. I said my farewell to the boys and headed up stairs. I closed the door behind me and sat on the bed. I signed heavily and ran my fingers through my hair. I sat there for a moment before I sat at the desk and got of a piece of paper and pen scribbling lyrics and doodles on the pages.

{MO'S POV}
I felt the bed shift next to me as I stirred a little in my sleep I fluttered my eyes open I saw Ricky getting into bed in his boxers. I smiled to myself as I know he couldn't see me. "Can we sleep naked?" I asked him quietly. He looked over at me and his big smile beaming. "Of course we can if that's what you want." I nodded my head and sat up a little and removed his t-shirt and slid his boxers off and tossed them to the floor. I felt myself blush as I saw him remove his boxers adding them to the discarded clothes. He pulled me close to him as he played with my hair and kissed my forehead. "You know I can get used to this" he said simply. I laughed softly and replied "you just like having the bed already warm when you get in it." He laughed with me "yeah your right it is nice and cozy" I scooted closer to him with my hand on his chest, his arm snaked around my waist pulling me closer. I rested my head on his "good night Ricky" he kissed my lips gently before turning me into the little spoon "good night Mo sleep tight" and after that we drifted into a peaceful sleep.

Well he did. I definitely did not. It was probably about 3 am when I shot up awake and alert. My breath hitched in the back of the throat and my heart racing. I felt sweaty and on edge. Like I just robbed a bank that's how bad I was feeling. I quickly got out of bed and threw my clothes back on before grabbing my drug bag and phone and walking down stairs. I tried to be as quiet as a little mouse I really didn't want to wake the guys up. I made my way to the kitchen and got a glass of water waking someone in the process. I heard a groggy voice behind me "Mo what are you doing?" I turned around to see Justin. I smiled softly "I had a night mare so here I am... I was gonna step out side for a bit." He nodded his head a little "why are you up?" I questioned him. "I honestly don't know I felt the need to get up...do you want company?" I nodded in response and we made our way to the patio.

Once outside we took our seats on the outdoor couch and placed our feet on the coffee table. Taking in the crisp night air. I was a little content looking at the stars. I gathered myself before sitting forward and grabbing a cigarette from the bag and lighting it. "What was your dream about?" Justin spoke out "my dad..." I replied sadly "I literally had a dream where he killed me. Like I get so real and there was so much hate but the second he killed me I saw myself in the living room looking at my body on the floor and my father standing over me. Once he knocked me out he just leaves the house and stuff but in my dream he fell the floor and started sobbing saying he was sorry..." At this point I didn't realize I was crying till Justin took his thumb and cupped my face whipping away a stray tear. He pulled me close before speaking "maybe deep down this was your mind telling you that if you don't get out now you'll never make it out. Or that despite all that he inflicted on you even so young as we were kids he's always been sorry afterwards. He could feel so guilty and that's why he leaves he can bear to face you afterwards." I looked up at him and slowly put the cigarette to my lips and breathed in. We sat in silence for a while. It was really nice and gave me something to think about. We eventually just sat next to each other and I felt my phone vibrating. I pulled it out and looked down at the incoming call

"Incoming call : Russ Longtree"
I signed and accepted the call. But before doing so I held my finger to mouth signaling Justin not to say a word.

"Hello?" I answered unsteadily not knowing what Russ was about to say.

"Mo? Where are you? You aren't in your room?!" Russ said his voice sounding sincere.

"Oh hmm. Yeah, I left this afternoon.. I kinda packed an over night bag..." I answered calmly as he didn't start screaming immediately. Not yet anyway.

"Are you fucking stupid!!! You know you aren't allowed to spend the night places! You're out whoring around aren't you!" He boomed. Almost loud enough for Justin to hear.

"No! It's not like that! I just didn't want to be home is all..." I said quietly answering him.

"YOU STUPID FUCKING SLUT!! IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU! Disgusting disrespectful behavior from such an ungrateful little bitch!!" He screamed in the phone. The next second the line went dead.

I was completely caught off guard. My head was racing. What does this mean for me? Is he actually going to kill me? I mean it's fucking Russ of course he means anything he says..