Scars

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TW: self-harm scars


"Do you want to?" Nick asked breathlessly, pulling away from Charlie's swollen lips.

"Yeah," Charlie replied, rolling them over, so he was on top of Nick. They continued to kiss passionately, Charlie's hands wandering from his boyfriend's chest further down.

However, Nick stopped him by taking off his sky blue hoodie, giving Charlie a chance to look properly at his face. His light-pink lips were just as swollen as his, he realized. His hair stuck out in a few places, and he looked dazed with an expression full of admiration and love.

"What?" Nick said with a smile.

"Nothing, you're just so beautiful."

Nick giggled, seizing the opportunity to take off his shirt now, exposing his pale, toned chest, which made Charlie blush scarlet. To cover it up, he kissed him again, this time deeper, and his tongue slid into Nick's mouth. Nick's hands found their way to Charlie's waist, pulling him into his lap. Now he was looking down on his boyfriend, who was flushed and glowing from the sunlight coming from Nick's window.

Charlie glanced down at Nick's bare chest again, then looked further down at his own shirt, still fully intact. After a few seconds of thinking, he moved his hands to the hem, pulling it up.

"Char," Nick said, placing his hand on his, stopping him from removing his shirt. "You don't have to—"

"I want to." Charlie took a deep breath. "But I have a lot of... scars... and imperfections that you might not like. I need you to promise me you won't be disgusted or appalled..."

Nick smiled warmly. "Charlie, I love every single part of you. You have no imperfections. I promise that I will love whatever I see."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. But you can still say no if you're unsure. I will wait a million years if I had to, and if you never wanted to, then that would be okay, too."

"Okay, okay. I trust you." Charlie dragged up his shirt, tossing it on the ground with the rest of their clothes. When he looked up, Nick's expression was a mixture of love and sadness. He knew he was looking at the plethora of scars scattered on his arms and chest.

"I love you," Nick said, wrapping his arms around Charlie and resting his head on his shoulder. His hands were warm on his skin. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Charlie grinned into Nick's hair. "I love you too. So much."

After a moment of silence Nick whispered, "Are all those scars from—"

"Yeah," Charlie replied immediately, knowing what his boyfriend meant.

Nick frowned, then leaned down and kissed his lips quickly, then down to his neck, and finally every single scar he could see. When he finished, Charlie was groaning, begging for more.

"You like that?" Nick teased

"Shut up." Charlie got off his lap and pulled him down on to the bed.

___

An hour later, Nick and Charlie were laying side by side, covered in a thin layer of sweat. In that moment and the moments before he had never felt more comfortable without a shirt. Geoff had said that being vulnerable was one of the hardest things he could do, and he was proud of himself for doing that today with Nick.

"Are you okay?" Nick whispered, gently grabbing his hand and holding it in his.

"Mmmmm, yeah. Perfect."

They both giggled, and Nick pulled him into his chest. "My mum will be home soon," he said.

"Oh," Charlie sat up, reaching for his clothes, but Nick pulled him back down.

"We still have some time," he said, and Charlie returned to where he was against his boyfriend.

"Okay."

They laid like that for a few minutes, just breathing and processing what had happened. It wasn't the first time they had done it, but it was the first time Charlie had felt confident enough to show his chest and arms because of his body dysmorphia.

When they heard the front door open downstairs, they quickly pulled on their many layers of clothes and attempted to fix their hair to be discreet.

"She's so gonna know," Nick said nervously.

"Yeah, definitely."

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