fantasy (oitnb// nicky nichols)

ten.

it had been almost a week of using drugs. i was asking around for pills, really anything i could get my hands on. surprisingly nicky hadn't found out, considering she used to do drugs.

i was high out of my mind all the time, it's a miracle i haven't gotten thrown in solitary yet.. i was going down a bad path. i stumble to the library, looking for my sister.

i lay my head in alex's lap, i start to softly weep.

"hey, hey ella—" she rubs my back. "what's going on?" she asks, concerned.

"i'm going down a bad path al. i don't know what to do."

"talk to me."

"i've been taking pills like candy alex. they're everywhere. they make me numb to everything else that's going on and i can't stop."

"shit. you really got yourself into it this time."

"yeah, yeah i know al."

"you can't do this, this'll destroy you. you've still got so much good in you, kid. you've gotta stop."

"i know. and nicky—-"

"what, is she using.. is she supplying you?!"

"no, no. nicky she doesn't know. i can't even tell my friend cause i don't wanna be the reason she relapses."

"nicky is a tough cookie, she's been clean many, many time. i'm sure if you talk to her, she can get you clean."

"yeah, yeah i guess your right."

alex comforted me, until i had to go back to the cell block, i really didn't wanna miss dinner. i didn't end up eating though.

me and nichols had gotten closer, we kissed. but nothing more then that. i mean, since she helped me with the gay thing.

it was the next day, we were at the ICE kitchen. i was stacking boxes in the freezer when nicky walked in. she came up behind me and kissed me, i kissed her back.

"what're you doing? we're gonna get caught.." i tell her

"no, red said she doesn't need as many people." she replies

i nodded, kissing her again, nicky pulls away to close the freezer door before returning her lips to mine.

i reached my hands under nicky's apron, she pulls my hands away. "look, i appreciate this but i'm strictly a giver."

i shake my head, returning my hands under her apron. "do you trust me?" i ask her, innocently

she nods, so i get onto my knees, my head under her apron.

"okay, uh.. your gonna have to stop now cause.. cause i'm gonna pass out.." she moans out

i stop, peeking my head out "your not gonna pass out nicky."

she nods, i return to pleasing her.

we were back at camp, it was lights out. i climb into bed next to nichols who was listening to her radio. i take out her earbuds as i kiss her. i was on her lap, my hands under her shirt.

she looks up at me. "hey, are you okay?" she asks

"yeah, i feel amazing.. im so fucking good nicky.. come on, fuck me nicky.."

she sits up her her bed, me falling beside her. there was a small amount of light peeking through the glass on the cell door.

"are you sure your feeling okay? your acting weird." she asks

"yeah, i told you i'm so good." i replied, high as a kite.

"kid, it's getting late. i'm exhausted. i need to get some sleep." she lays down in her bed

"but i want you to fuck me first.." i lay next to her, kissing her again.

she pulls away "your on oxy?"

"psh... no.."

"i can taste it on your tongue, vause."

"fuck." i get up, running my hands through my hair, i kick the wall

"just lay down, come here kid." she comforts me.

i get into bed next to her, nuzzling my head against her chest. i hold her hand until i fall asleep. she watches me until she falls asleep, her arms comfortable around my body.