Clato: The Cost of a Broken Heart

Chapter 15

CLOVE

Cato's skin is warm against mine. In the autumn morning he curls atop me, asleep, free from his pain for just a little while longer. In the night, our limbs became tangled so that I can no longer tell where exactly my body is. What I do know is Cato's head is nestled into my shoulder, his warm breath grazing my neck, tendrils of soft golden hair tickling my cheek.

It is an unimaginable comfort to have Cato next to me. All these weeks I have missed him and had to stay away for the safety of others. But I am beginning to wonder if I am ever safe without him. It doesn't feel like it.

Just like that night in the Arena where we slept side by side, I am torn between waking him and enjoying this stolen moment for just a little longer. Cato begins to stir but, instead of waking, he pulls me tighter against him and falls back into an easy sleep. We stay that way for a while, content winning out over common sense. For I know when he wakes, this lapse in judgement will be over.

Without even really thinking about it, I tilt my head and lightly kiss the top of Cato's head. I'm about to burrow back into him when Cato moves. He's waking up. Frantically I realize how awkward this will be. We slept in the same bed, how can I go on acting normally after this? Cato's grip on me loosens and I try to put some space between us. Cato's eyes flick open and find mine barely inches away. He smiles lazily.

I watch as the joy at finding me here changes to confusion. I watch as Cato remembers what has happened, as brutal and fresh as the first time. His face falls, eyes squeezed shut as if he can fall back asleep and block out the world.

"Cato," I whisper but don't know what to say. Suddenly, he opens his eyes and furiously disentangles himself from me. Cato nearly falls out of the bed in his attempts to escape. His blue eyes are wild, searching the room as if he could find Scarlet there, hiding, waiting for him.

Finally Cato breaks free, stands up, and stares at me with terrified eyes. He is lost. I sit up, wanting to help but unsure how. Cato shakes his head at me. He turns and runs.

It takes me half a second to decide I have to run after him. I am up, jumping from the bed and pelting down the stairs. Cato was always the slower one. He is halfway through the kitchen when I tackle him to the ground. Cato throws me off him and I am sent rolling across the linoleum. He looks at me, angry. Then I understand: Cato is mad. For a lot of reasons and a lot of problems but the main thing is, he is furious. And he cannot hurt those who have made him so. So I will let him hurt me.

"Hit me," I say.

"What?" Cato asks.

"You're angry, you're hurt. You need someone to take it out on."

"I promised I'd never hurt you."

"And I'm releasing you from that promise. Hit me."

And he does.

Cato attacks full force and I fight back. He slams a fist into my jaw and I go spinning to the ground. Kicking out Cato's legs, I send him to the floor as well. Cato throws me into the coffee table with a growl. Despite the pain, this feels good. We have been so afraid of hurting others that it feels good to hurt ourselves. I feel like I am paying back a debt with every bruise.

We continue to fight in a blur. It looks like a bomb has gone off in my house. I'm breathing hard, there's a stitch in my side. Cato stumbles towards me, eyes glazed with fury. I think we're about to start yet another round. Only when he is mere feet away do I see tears among the blood on his face. Instead of a punch, he throws himself into my arms.

I catch Cato, the fight drained from both of us. He puts his full weight on me, gasping for breath. I can't breath. Cato crushes me against him. But I stay like that anyways. He is so heavy. I feel like I am holding up the world. It is the most unbearable thing, to hold up someone who has always been strong, to see them reduced to nothing so that it is only you keeping them upright. And you just have to hope beyond all reason that you can do it. That you will not fail them.

I stand there, supporting Cato, desperately trying to keep my world from crumbling to dust.

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A/N Please comment and vote!