Clato: The Cost of a Broken Heart

Chapter 34

CLOVE

A mess of things happen at once. There are meeting and proclamations, trials and sentences. The Capitol is thrown into chaos as money is taken from the rich to feed into the Districts. As the days pass, a new President is appointed by the name of Plutarch. But I miss all of it.

The instant our safe room door bursts open, we are hustled onto a train. As we leave the mansion for the last time, I notice the entire front of it has been burned to the ground. Rebels with peacekeepers' guns walk us to the nearest train.

Moxy hops on board with us, saying it's her job to watch over us and at least she gets to leave the fucking Capitol. She isn't bitter in the least.

As part of helping the Rebellion, helping Brutus, the commercials begin. Moxy calls them propos. They're supposed to "ease the citizens of Panem into this new era." It's a load of crap but I'm not in the mood to tick off another government just yet.

The worst part is that Cato and I are constantly separated or watched or on camera. We never have a minute alone to figure out what this is, what we are. I need to know what I mean to him but there is never an opportunity to talk.

As we work, Enobaria continuously pops in with more news from the Capitol. But her sunken face proves there is no news of Brutus.

Stumbling into my train car as the stars shine, I pull of my jacket and shoes. There's a large form sprawled out on my bed. Cato. I grab pajamas and get dressed in the bathroom.

"Well that was exhausting," I call to him as I make my way to the bed. "I hope they don't follow us back to two, I'm done with being watched for a long time." Cato doesn't respond. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed I realize he's asleep. He breathes softly into the pillow, jaw slack, shoulders relaxed. He smiles a little in his sleep and I wonder what he's dreaming about. I watch Cato for a minute before curling up beside him. Cato's arms automatically wrap around me but he doesn't wake. It's habit by now. I join him in the land of dreams.

------

District 2

Home. It has been only a few weeks but it feels like forever. Elise and her family hunt me down at the train station. There's a long family hug and lots of tears from Elise. "I'm fine I promise," I look at Cato, "I think things are going to be okay." Elise lets us go soon after that as I plead exhaustion. She promises to come by tomorrow and the next day and the next day.

Enobaria says goodbye to us at the foot of my driveway. "Are you sure you don't want to come in?" I'm worried about her.

"I'll be fine. Remember what I said. Remember what Brutus is fighting for." I watch her as she walks home, alone.

Cato walks me to my porch. We stop and stare at each other goofily. But it's awkward. We've never actually told each other we care about the other. I don't know what to do. What if he doesn't feel the same? I want Cato to stay but I can't get the words out. "Anyway," he shifts awkwardly, "I should probably..." He turns to go. No! I need him to stay.

"Wait, Cato!" I call out a little too desperately. He turns back around, a hopeful expression on his face. "Wait," I say again,"Look, Cato, it's been a really hard year. A really hard year. There were times when I thought I was going to die. There were times when I wished I would. Through everything, you've been here for me. You are the best friend I could have asked for." His face falls at the word friend. Oh god I'm screwing this all up.

"What I'm trying to say is, I need you. I know I have faults and I know Favian taught me that people would always hurt me but not you." I gather all my courage, look him right in the eye. "I think I'm in love with you, Cato." My heart stops. What if he doesn't feel the same way?

Cato puts his hands on either side of my face, "Clover, I have lost so much this year. If I didn't have you I would have fallen apart. I need you, just as much, more than you could ever need me. Because you are strong and brave and a little on the psychotic side but I am too so it's okay." He smiles widely. "You make me feel like I'm not so much of a monster. You make me want to be a better man. I love you, Clover, faults and all." And then he's kissing me. It is perfect. It is indescribably good.

I unlock the door, still kissing Cato, and guide him inside. All the boxes of paperwork about my parents is gone. Oh well, it was probably Marian tidying up. I can't care about anything but Cato right now.

He shuts the door behind us, pressing me up against it. Our bodies crush together intoxicatingly. Cato licks my bottom lip and I open my mouth without thinking. His tongue follows. I nip at Cato's bottom lip and he groans, lifting me into the air. My legs wrap around his waist as he shoves me against the wall. My hands are everywhere, pulling at his hair, sliding down his chest, rucking up his shirt. I can't get enough of him.

Cato's arms intertwine with my legs, his hands sliding up my thighs. He rips his lips from mine, making me gasp. Then he is kissing my neck, sucking on a pressure point until I moan. My whole body burns like I am on fire.

I shift so Cato will set my feet on the floor. My hand fumble with his shirt, dragging it over his head. My fingers tremble as they trace his shaking skin, both of us completely overwhelmed by the nearness of the other. Cato kisses me slowly, softly. Then he pulls away just enough to smile down at me. It is the kind of smile that makes you believe a person is truly happy. The kind of smile I've only seen on him once and it was during a tracker jacket hallucination. But it is real now.

"I love you," he says. I laugh and fall against him.

"I love you too." There's a welling in my chest that takes me a moment to recognize.

Happiness.

------
All is wonderful until later, when we find the letter from Favian on my kitchen table.

-----
A/N Please comment and vote!