We're all well known with how the path of a mentally ill girl goes. They either destroy themselves until theres nothing left or their minds take over and gets the job done faster. Well this is estella romano's story . Follow her through the path of...
I haven't been to school since the hockey night . I came up with some lame excuse , like i always do. Well they believed it so it was a win win. I didnt usually let peoples words get to me , but seths did? Why did i let that peanut headed brain get to me? That night i cried myself to sleep , hoping id feel better the next morning but i didn't i cried again and again to the point where it felt like it was too much. I hurt myself , again hoping that pain would distract me from the physical pain that i felt deep in my heart . It lasted for 10 seconds until i felt guilty again . I felt guilty because i promised myself i wouldn't go there again . I wouldn't let myself get dragged down there again. I've been in watching tv. Hoping that would take my mind off of things , its friday today currently 6am in the morning . Why pray tell you ask am i awake this early? Well add insomnia to my list of insecurities. Well not really . I liked my insomnia , it meant i was awake at night . I loved the darkness . It was sort of therapeutic, listening to the wind howling , the birds and owls everynight made me not feel alone. I have to get out of this bed eventually, don't i? Ugh that reminds me its friday today , day of the party.
Fuck my life.
I just hope i stay clear of seth and his minions . I go to the bathroom , i scrub myself under the shower , watching out for my newly opened wounds on my thighs , as the soap rubs against it , i hiss out loud and bite on my lip , tasting the metallic taste that erupts into my mouth. I breathe and in out and wait for the burning to stop , it eventually stops and i wash off all the soap , i get out the shower carefully drying myself in the process. I brush my teeth. I dont bother looking at myself in the mirror , because i know I'd be disappointed again. Hoping to see some change would always never happen , id always see my lifeless eyes , my eyebags ,chapped lips and not even a smile on my face , so i brushed my teeth with my face downwards and walked out the bathroom with a bathrobe around me , i went to the closet hoping to see something comfortable. Its raining today , so yay for me . I love the rain . I searched through my heaps of clothing and found an olive hoody with some writing and a blackish greyish mom jeans that sits baggy on me , i pair it with my black and white jordans.
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I blow dry my hair , putting in some volume. I add some concealer to my eyebags making no one see what a shitty week i had . I add clear lipgloss to my lips and pucker it . I add a bit mascara and im ready to go . I look at the time 7:30 . Did i really take that long to get ready? Well school starts in 30 minutes so whatever . I walk downstairs and i see my brother in the kitchen making some breakfast for himself , he sees me and he smiles.
"I see someone finally decided to come out of their cage and into the real world" he said as he spread some jam onto his toast. I gulped at the sight of food taking my eyes away from it and looking at him and shrugging "Well , im feeling better now so, yeah" i said as i sat opposite him . He takes a huge bite out of his toast making eating sounds and moaning.
Disgusting. Pig. And unfortunately my brother.
He sees me looking at him and he points the toast in my direction "want some?" I pinch myself under the table making sure i have a normal reaction , i let out a small breath "No im good , i was actually down here before you came. I ate some cereal " i lied.
Liar.
He shrugged and gulped everything down and licked his hands. I stood up and waited for him to finish , he grabs his backpack and gestures for me to come with him. I follow him to his car and the cold air hits my face making me smile.
Peace.
I follow him into his car and i jump into the passenger seat . I connect my phone and play "Sweater weather" by the neighbourhood blasts through the speakers and we drive to school. We arrive around about 10 minutes later ...which is too long be sitting next to my brother while he sings out all the wrong lyrics. I get out of his car , he turns to me , his messy blonde hair looking like he's dragged his hand in their for the hundredth time. He raises an eyebrow at me as i wait for this idiot to speak"Same place after school , got it?" I nod my head "aye aye captian" he chuckles and ruffles my hair , making me groan in the protest . I watch him walk away. His tall and muscular buikd doesn't go unnoticed by all the girls as they huddle up and whisper as their annoying giggles ring out in the air.
He walks over to a group of hockey players. And i immediately regret looking over there because seths menacing stare looks right at me as bile rises up my throat. Ready to spill what last of food i have in my stomach out . Seth looking at me , smirking at me , challenging me...i breathe in and out and ignore him as i walk into the school .
The sounds of people talking and walking through the halls fills the space making me feel all sorts of small . I immediately search for my friends and i mentally prepare myself for whats exactly about to happen , i hear a screetch but before i can turn around to see whats it all about. The wind gets knocked straight out of me and im on the floor with two beings ontop of me
Two really big beings. I freaking told them to lay off the icecream.
I wince in pain hoping they wont see. I pat april and rorys hair my fingers immediately combing through their non-existent knots making me frown. How i would wish to not have knots"I know. I know you missed me , but you guys and cannot jump on me like that. Im tiny"i chuckle and push them off me .
Rory helps me up and i wipe the imaginary dust off me and open my hands to them , they look stunned at me , well funfact i never ever ever give hugs i hate em , but i missed them and i could really use it , they jump into my embrace and squeeze the living daylights out of me . They let go eventually .
"You're feeling better now right? The flu is all gone. Do you need soup ? Medicine? Tablets , anyth-
I interrupt aprils ranting "April im fine. It was just some random cold , im all good now i promise" i giggle and stand next to her . She nods happily "Good to have you back stel" rory said as she put her arm around my shoulder and so did april . We walked to our class "hey guys did you hear theres a new guy coming in on monday i heard he has tattoos, and hes hottt and yeah" april giggled , i rolled my eyes.
Ugh another jackass.
"C'mon stop talking about the mysterious jackass and lets go to our class shall we ladies?" I offer. They nod without saying a word . But the sounds of their footsteps behind me tells me their right behind me. We walked into our first class history and began the lesson.
-
Well i stayed clear of the cafeteria and seth. Which was hard considering this stupid school was flooded with hockey players and plastic bitches. I had to freaking almost jump inside a bin to hide from him earlier when i saw him walking down the hall. Well he wasn't walking. More like grabbing one of the cheerleaders ass while she was leaning into him. Gosh i hate him. We're finishing our last period. Chemistry. As the bell rings we stand up . I make sure to keep an eye out for seth so i don't have to run into him and do the whole "running" away thing again. We walk walk out and the only sounds keeping me in intact are april explaining how she managed to sneeze without blinking.
I almost let out a sigh of relief once we're out the school. No more seth. No more plastic . The two of them turn to me with huge grins and i mentally groan while palming my forehead."So your place. At 7 , sharp..." Rory pauses "Okay yeah , bye we love youuu" she sing songs as she drags april away with her.
I covered my face with my hands and groaned "Ugh , i thought you guys forgot about this lame party !" I called out which resulted a whole lot of giggling "Never. So 7. Your place. Gotcha. Bye" april said as she pulled rory with her before i could retort . I stomp my foot like a child as i silenty screamed at the sky. I probably looked like i belonged in a asylum right now. I walk towards my brothers car and i see him get in. I get in next to him and sigh . We exchange "hellos" and he starts driving. Big fat droplets of water starts to fall on the windscreen making a small smile apear on my face as we arrive at our house.
